


Lost Soldiers

by kracken



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Duo angst / confusion / denial, Duo can't catch a break, Lemon, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Out of Character, Post EW, Violence, Wu Fei being a complete jerk, Yaoi, bastard Heero, condescending Quatre, the other pilots aren't exactly nice either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 13:43:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13882074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kracken/pseuds/kracken
Summary: Duo is just trying to cope after the war, but he gets help from an unlikely source, Zechs Marquis.





	1. Out of the Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. With Kracken's permission, I began manually importing her works to the AO3 as part of an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017.

Milliardo Peacecraft exited the theater, pulling on gloves against the cold and shrugging deeper into his chocolate colored coat. He sighed, feeling black depression weigh heavily on his shoulders. The frivolous court that he had just dutifully wined, dined, and entertained had only made the depression sink its claws deeper. He needed a drink, not fancy champagne or expensive wine, but something baser and more fierce, something strong enough to shove him into oblivion, an oblivion where the pain couldn't reach.  
  
Almost two years had passed since the war had ended. Nearly two years of drifting in his sister's shadow, watching her take everything he had always dreamed of having; Sanq Kingdom, a high position among men, and a chance to change the world and make a difference. What could he do now, but bow to her will and become her ambassador of fools? Those fools thought more of their own enjoyments than his plans or even hers. Peace, prosperity, security, and an alliance of colony and Earth, as tightly knit as a woven cloth, were the stuff of his dreams, his plans, yet he couldn't accomplish anything without power. Relena had all the power and Relena had chosen not to trust him with it.  
  
Who could blame her, Milliardo thought darkly. He had tried to destroy so many people to achieve his goals. The excuse of being under the influence of a zero system wasn't even good enough for him, let alone the leader of Earth and Space. He deserved the life he had been given. In fact, he thought, sinking even deeper into the blackness. He deserved far worse.  
  
Maybe tonight.  
  
Milliardo needed his limo. He needed to find a place to get his strong drink. Fingering the beeper in his pocket, he idly scanned the street and the sidewalk as he began to push the button that would alert his driver. His finger froze.  
  
A figure lounged against the brick wall of a building. He was watching the important people slowly coming out of the theater, but it wasn't in awe or in anticipation. It was... in desperation? Milliardo let go of his beeper, not sure why he did it, or maybe... yes, he did know. The figure against the wall was provocative, different, fascinating. Milliardo felt the need for a diversion, a diversion from the dark thoughts that were beginning to turn violent.  
  
Milliardo slowly approached, giving himself time to study the figure. Long legs in tight black jeans and an enticing bulge at the crotch. Black ankle boots with pointed toes and silver heels. A long sleeved, white shirt unbuttoned at the collar. A long, black coat that swept past his heels and gave ample pocket room for the hands he had thrust inside of them to keep warm. The face. It made Milliardo want to laugh and that was saying something in his present mood. It was the face of an elf, all pointy planes, big cheeks and... Milliardo took a deep breath in awe. The young man had two of the largest and most luminous eyes Milliardo had ever seen on a man. They sparkled like moonlight on purple mist from under a unruly thatch of chestnut hair. That hair... it was the hair that made Milliardo start at memory.  
  
An interrogation room monitor. Milliardo had leaned on a control console and idly watched several interrogations at one time on a split screen. Unpleasant duty. He had hated it, the cold, calculating reduction of a man until he would say anything, do anything to escape the professionally administered drugs and pain.  
  
" A little to the left!" A cheery voice said suddenly. Milliardo blinked and adjusted the screen until it was showing only one room and the prisoner who was panting in pain, but still attempting a joke. "You almost got that itch, man."  
  
He was bound to a chair and restrained heavily. He was very young. Two men stood over him using shock rods. The boy jerked and writhed at each touch, spitting and groaning as his body betrayed him by trying to get away from the pain. As soon as the shock let up though, he was back to grinning and joking.  
  
"Nice party!" The prisoner gasped out hoarsely. "Make sure you put me on the call list for the next one."  
  
One of his tormentors lost control. Angrily, he raised a steel toed boot and slammed it into the boy's ribs. Broken for certain, Milliardo thought as the boy strangled on a cry and then hung limply in his bonds, unconscious.   
  
"Stop!" Milliardo commanded through the speaker. The men jerked to attention. "You are on report, sir," he told the man who had lost his temper. The man flushed scarlet. "This is an interrogation. We don't want the prisoner to die. Have him treated and put back in his cell."  
  
They had unbound the boy without question and Milliardo had watched him dragged from the room. It was then that he had seen that incredible length of braid trailing on the floor.  
  
He was seeing it now on this slightly older version of the prisoner. The braid had grown longer, but the young man hadn't. He wasn't tall and he was thinner and more wiry than Milliardo remembered. He looked desperate and that suited Milliardo's plans for him perfectly.  
  
"Waiting for someone?" Milliardo asked in his husky voice. The young man looked him up and down. Milliardo wasn't self conscious. He knew the man was seeing a tall, well built person with a long fall of snow white hair, an incredibly handsome face, and ice blue eyes under strong white brows. He was dressed impeccably and he carried himself with an air only good breeding could give a person.   
  
"Not Milliardo Peacecraft," the young man replied with an annoyed drawl to his voice. Milliardo searched his memory for the accent, Ah, yes, he thought, L2, den of thieves, prostitutes, and the impoverished. He definitely had the upper hand.  
  
"I'm at a disadvantage," Milliardo replied with an arched white brow. "You are-?"  
  
Duo smirked self deprecatingly. "I guess I'm not as famous as the other Gundam pilots."  
  
"Gundam pilot?" Milliardo came to attention, the soldier in him on alert as he found himself facing an old enemy.  
  
"Duo Maxwell," Duo replied and then turned his eyes to the theater again. "If you don't mind. I have business."  
  
"Business?" Milliardo wondered, still stunned by Duo's revelation.  
  
Duo looked uncomfortable. He didn't explain. Milliardo noted his sunken face, his large cheeks made even more prominent because of it. He was blue with cold. It was obvious that he had been standing outside for a long while. That look of desperation surfaced in Duo's eyes again. Milliardo thought that he understood it.  
  
The people continued to file out of the theater. Duo noted each one, a slight tick of disappointment evident each time he failed to see who he wished.  
  
"Well," Duo wondered sharply. "Are you going to just stare at me like I'm a sideshow freak, Milli?"  
  
Milliardo frowned at the shortening of his name. "Who are you looking for?"  
  
Duo's shoulders tightened and then he admitted. "Quatre Winner."  
  
"Another Gundam pilot," Milliardo said.  
  
"Yeah, we use to be friends." Duo shrugged and again Milliardo saw that self deprecating grin. "I guess I'm hoping for a lot to expect that he'd see me again, especially here."  
  
"He is a kind man," Milliardo noted.  
  
Duo turned away suddenly and glared at the ground. "Yeah, he is. Too kind."  
  
"He wasn't there at the gathering. He declined at the last minute," Milliardo lied.  
  
Duo stiffened and then slumped dejectedly against the wall. He sighed and burrowed his hands deeper into his pockets. "Shinigami's luck, as usual," he said. "I read in the paper he was attending this get together I was hoping..." He glared at Milliardo.  
  
"Hoping what?" Milliardo wondered.  
  
"Why am I even talking to you?" Duo demanded hotly. "What do you want, man?"  
  
You, Milliardo though viciously, but said, pleasantly enough, "It's cold. You're blue with it. Why don't you allow me to buy you dinner?" He motioned absently to the people leaving the theater. "I've become so tired of insipid fools. I need to speak with someone who understands me, someone who was in the war as well."  
  
Milliardo reached into his pocket and pressed the call button. His limo pulled up to the curb and the driver jumped out and opened the passenger door. Duo stared at the car's interior, nervous and uncertain. Milliardo realized that he was going to lose his prize if he insisted. Instead, he spoke briefly to the driver and gave him directions to a restaurant a few blocks away.  
  
"We'll walk," Milliardo said, as if it were all decided. "It isn't far and it's quiet. I'll order a private room and no one will bother us."  
  
The young man grinned. That made it hard to gauge his real mood, but it was telling that he said quickly, "Forget the private room. We'll eat out where everyone else is, Milli." He didn't trust his old enemy. He wasn't a fool then.  
  
"Don't call me that," Milliardo replied angrily, but then forced himself to relax again. "Sorry. I've always hated that nickname. I much prefer Zechs if Milliardo is too trying for you."  
  
"Okay, Zechs," Duo agreed with an even wider grin. "I'll let you wine and dine me, but, just so you know in advance, I can snap your neck in less than a blink of an eye. I'm a trained killer, so don't get any ideas about revenge."  
  
Zechs grinned back. "I'm an honorable man, sir. I've fought duels before. The rules don't include a poison drink or a dagger in a back room. I assure you, Duo Maxwell, that my intentions are just as I stated. I'm bored. I'm tired of fools. I'm tired of insipid conversation. I want to talk to you soldier to soldier. We don't have to be enemies any longer."  
  
Duo gave him a long, silent appraisal and then he made up his mind. "Okay, Zechs. Let's go talk."  
  
They began to walk down the sidewalk just as a light drizzle of rain began. Duo shivered and hunkered into his coat. Zechs found himself coming up close behind the smaller man, almost instinctively, to block some of the rain.  
  
Glancing behind him with a soldier's automatic wariness, Zechs saw Quatre Winner exit the theater, gold hair shining in the lights and his ever present smile warm on his entourage of admirers. He would have welcomed Duo with open arms, Zechs knew, and felt the adrenalin excitement of an enemy thwarted. Duo was going to be his tonight, he thought. Quatre could have his leavings afterwards.  
  
Duo walked slowly. It made Zechs impatient the way the boy seemed mesmerized by every store front and wary of every puddle of water. They didn't say much, just a comment about something Duo saw every now and then. The young man was looking uncertain again, almost as if he were forcing himself to do something wrong and didn't approve of himself. Zechs began to guess that his uncertain state of mind was the cause of his dragging steps. Zechs tried to reassure him, draw him deeper into his net.  
  
"I truly respected all of the Gundam pilots, Heero Yuy especially," Zechs said. "It was an honor and a great challenge to battle with you. Your abilities and your dedication, as young as all of you were, was phenomenal. I always regretted being your enemy."  
  
Duo quirked a vicious smile and looked at him sideways. "Really? Was that before or after you tried to wipe out everyone on Earth?"  
  
Zechs felt a moment of blinding, exquisite fury. It was everything he could do to quell it and to say, in a normal tone. "Circumstances don't always let us chose our actions."  
  
"Meaning it wasn't your fault?" Duo sounded edgy, sarcastic. "I'm sure all of the soldiers who died, protecting Earth from you, could give a rat's ass whether you blame yourself or someone else. You tried to do it, Zechs."  
  
Zechs was losing him, and, for a moment, he almost wished he would. The young man was bringing up the exact subject that he so wished to avoid.  
  
"Well," Duo said with a dark chuckle. "You haven't pulled out a gun and shot me yet. Maybe I can trust you... a little."  
  
Zechs shot a hard look at Duo. The young man had a plastered on grin, but his purple eyes were flat and hard. He had made a mistake thinking that Duo was going to be easy entertainment. He was going to be a challenge instead, and Zechs found that he much preferred that. He was done with dealing with the insipid.  
  
Zechs kept his voice even. "If you believe that I am the architect of attempted mass murder, then why come with me at all?"  
  
Duo thought that over, eyes narrowing. "Good question," he said at last. "I don't know the answer to it yet." Truthful, straight forward. "I should be ready to starve to death rather than accept a handout from you." He stopped and frowned, realizing what he was saying. He shut his mouth and it went into a thin line.  
  
Ah, Zechs thought, mystery solved? He studied Duo surreptitiously as they began walking again. The young pilot had looked well dressed and ready for a night on the town. In reality, his clothes were wrinkled and creased, as if he had slept in them for more than one night. His face was very pale and sunken a little under his prominent cheeks. There was a tight look to his expression as well, an expression that was suffering, but determined. Used to gauging soldiers at a glance to estimate their danger or ability, Zechs recognized instantly someone on the edge of collapse. It had only been Duo's outgoing nature and his vibrant good looks that had kept Zechs from seeing it before.   
  
It made sense then, Duo's need to see Quatre Winner. If Duo was indeed lacking in a place to live and money for food, then Quatre, his wealthy, fellow Gundam pilot, would have been a likely choice to beg a favor of. Duo's prickly behavior of before was understandable in light of that. Duo's pride had been stinging.  
  
Zechs kept the smile off of his face, but he was very pleased to have a trump card now. Duo was in need. That was a powerful weapon.  
  
+  
  
Duo Maxwell's appetite was phenomenal. After Zechs had assured him that he was paying for everything and to order what he wished, Zechs settled back in their semi private booth and watched the ex Gundam pilot eat two steaks, a helping of noodles in white sauce, onion soup with cheeses melted on the top, and an order of sauteed vegetables garnished with stuffed mushrooms. The young man guzzled down three glasses of milk at the end of it all and then wiped his mouth, finally raising his eyes to Zechs. Zechs expected Duo to throw it all back up at any moment. It didn't seem possible that Duo's slim body could hold it all safely.  
  
Duo grinned, guessing his thoughts. "Don't worry, I won't explode."  
  
Zechs raised a pale eyebrow. "Where did you put it all?"  
  
Duo chuckled as he piled the empty plates on top of each other and motioned the server to take them away. "Coffee," he said to the man, but Zechs held up a hand.  
  
"Brandy," Zechs ordered instead. "A serious drink for serious reminiscing."  
  
Duo frowned as the server went away. "I don't drink. It slows reaction time."  
  
Zechs cocked his head at him as he shoved his own uneaten plate of scampi away from him. "The war is over," Zechs replied bitterly. "You don't need fast reflexes any more. You can drink yourself into the gutter. It doesn't matter."  
  
Duo shrugged self deprecatingly. "I guess old habits die hard, especially since I learned them on L2, not as a Gundam pilot."  
  
The brandy came along with two goblets. Zechs filled them both and pushed one towards Duo. He didn't take it. "L2," Zechs repeated, and then rudely, "So, were you a thief, a whore, or a drug dealer?"  
  
Duo blinked and grinned. Zechs was learning that Duo's grin wasn't necessarily a sign of happiness, it was a sign of danger as well, danger for whomever was testing his temper. That someone, this time, was Zechs. "I could be a rich politician's son. Don't I look the type?"  
  
Zechs was truthful. "No."  
  
"You do," Duo replied, salting an old wound without knowing it.  
  
Zechs thrust his anger down and replied quietly. "So...? "  
  
Duo frowned and bowed his head so that his bangs hid his unusual eyes. He played with the goblet of bandy. "Guess."  
  
"Not a whore," Zechs replied and Duo looked up, startled. "You're far too smart."  
  
Duo's face went dark and his mouth twitched downward. "Too smart? You must think most whores have a choice." he paused and then, in a lighter tone, "You are right, though. I am far too smart."  
  
"Thief then."  
  
Duo's mouth quirked. "Why thief instead of drug dealer?"  
  
"Drug dealers don't need personality," Zechs replied. "They have something everyone has to have. A thief... a thief has to be able to run the con and fool the mark."  
  
Duo chuckled. "All right, you guessed. Are you going to have me arrested?"  
  
Zechs shook his head, pushing loose strands of his long, white hair back over his shoulder. "You're a hero," he replied. "A national treasure. A Gundam pilot. You saved the Earth. You saved the colonies. You brought peace."  
  
Duo's face turned dark and his slim hands closed on the stem of the goblet hard. "Yeah, all of that!" he growled angrily. "What good did it do me in the end?" As if making up his mind suddenly, he snorted derisively and brought the goblet to his lips. He wasn't unfamiliar with the taste of alcohol, that was apparent, but he still screwed his face up at the fire.  
  
Zechs sighed. "Don't drink Brandy to drown depression. Brandy is to stir the thoughts and loosen the tongue."  
  
Duo raised eyebrows as he took another cautious sip. "A truth serum?" he asked jokingly.  
  
Zechs smiled back. "Of sorts. Sometimes a man can be too cautious. It hampers the ability to exchange deeper thoughts."  
  
Duo shrugged as he put his goblet down and turned the stem idly in his hands. "I'm afraid I'm not very deep, Zechs. Maybe you should have picked on Trowa Barton or Heero Yuy."  
  
"They weren't standing on a street corner in the rain."  
  
A hot bitter look past over Duo's face. He quickly stifled it, but words came unwillingly from his lips. The brandy was working on his untrained tongue, "Heero should have been."  
  
Zechs filed that comment and chose not to pursue it. He turned the conversation to the war instead and their places in it. He philosiphied and tried to find the meaning while Duo scoffed and sneered and finally called Zechs an aristocrat as if it were a swear word.  
  
"You think war is noble and a fine game," Duo bit out as he took a longer drink of his brandy. His hand was white on the stem and his eyes were hard and a little wild with memory. "It took everything away from me, again and again, killed everyone I loved, made me kill and fight in a Gundam when I should have been playing harmless pranks and going to school without a care in the world. It took from me, the war. For you, it just gave you opportunities."  
  
That wasn't true, but Zechs didn't defend himself. Duo was slipping into a warm drunk and anything he said at that point would only fuel Duo's depression and anger. He waited instead, nodding as Duo placed the blame and wished for revenge, a revenge he couldn't have now that there was peace.  
  
Duo's head bobbed. His striking, purple eyes hooded. His handsome face flushed. Zechs nodded to himself and hid his smile. Now. It was time. The prize was his.  
  
Zechs rose from his seat and moved around to Duo. Duo blinked up at him and then began to collapse sideways. Only Zech's hand under his arm kept him from hitting the floor. "You should rest," he said, feeling that Duo was already past hearing, but wanting the other patrons to hear. He didn't want stories of Milliardo Peacecraft kidnapping a pilot to circulate the loose tongues and the media. "I'll take you to a hotel room and let you sleep it off, my friend."  
  
Hooking a strong arm around Duo, Zechs felt a slight shock as he felt ribs and a hard wiry body. Duo was as light as a feather. The young man had obviously been living on the edge for some time. There was also a scent about him, a telltale clue that told Zechs that the street might have been his home for a few days. Duo was in desperate need. Zechs grew warm with pleasure as he realized it. Duo needed and Zechs knew how to take full advantage of that need.  
  
+  
  
Duo slipped into complete unconsciousness in the limo. Zechs had the driver take them to an expensive hotel, well appointed, and mindful of his privacy. They didn't ask any questions when he carried Duo to his new room and they were eager to fulfill all of his requests for personal items, clothing and toiletries for the young man, and a carefully chosen meal to deal with an upset stomach when he awoke.  
  
Zechs was patience itself until the items he requested arrived. He was the panther stalking his prey now, and he knew the importance of choosing the ground for the kill. When everything was settled and the servants had gone, only then did Zechs lock the door and turn to his prey.  
  
Duo was sprawled out on the bed on his back, face pale and long braid a chestnut trail along the coverlet. He was breathing softly. He didn't look drunk. He looked very young, disturbingly so, and untroubled by dreams. The sight almost made Zechs pause and reconsider... almost.  
  
The depression still gripped him. He still needed a distraction, this hunt and conquest, to keep his mind occupied and to keep the darkness from engulfing him and gnawing on his soul. He feared that darkness, hated it, hated it enough to do almost anything to avoid it.  
  
Zechs moved quietly to stand by the bed. His hands trembled as he reached down and slowly began undoing the buttons of Duo's shirt. Why did it feel so wrong? Zechs had tumbled scores of willing men and women, people who were eager to do anything to bask in his glow, drawn by his position, his good looks, and his connections. Never once had he hesitated or given thought to the morality of it. He slaked his need and they spread their legs... willingly... perhaps a few, not so willing. War was war. Opportunities weren't always pure and clean cut.   
  
A Gundam pilot. The enemy. A brash, rude, gutter rat who admitted to thievery. It was a privilege for someone like that to be noticed by someone like Zechs. He almost convinced himself that Duo would wake and be glad, grateful even, especially when Zechs rewarded him with some much needed credit. Yes, he'd reward Duo a thousand times over to keep that self destructive darkness at bay.  
  
Half of the buttons were undone. Zechs, eager to see Duo's nipples, spread the material out. A chill traveled up his spine. Bandages were revealed instead of the creamy skin he had expected. The bandages were spotted with fresh and dried blood.  
  
Zechs took a long moment to process this new development. He finished unbuttoning Duo's shirt and then he peeled it back completely. What he found was ugly. Someone had beaten Duo to within an inch of his life. The wounds had been professionally treated, but Zechs, trained in battle first aide, could see plainly that Duo should have still been in a hospital bed recovering, not wandering rainy streets on the edge of starvation. His slow steps on the way to the restaurant were suddenly understandable.  
  
Prey turned into victim in the blink of an eye. Zechs didn't question that, didn't stop to think why he didn't call an ambulance then and there and have the boy taken for treatment. His use to Zechs was done. He wasn't in any shape to be a diversion. Zechs wasn't so far gone as to take pleasure in a rack of bones and wounds.  
  
Zechs checked all of the boys' wounds and felt a wave of anger and disgust at the impression of steel toed boots on soft skin and obvious hand and fist marks all over the young man. Someone had beaten him far past what was necessary to make any point. It was clearly the sign of some unbalanced mind. Zechs, dealing with his own inner demons, could recognize the signs easily.  
  
Zechs finished and then made the young man more comfortable on the bed. He covered him with the blanket, even though Duo still had on his coat, and left him there.  
  
Zechs ordered a bottle of strong liquor from room service and, after it had been delivered and he had been left alone again, he did what he had planned to do before running into a long haired Gundam pilot. Zechs proceeded to drown his depression until he didn't feel anything any more.  
  
+  
  
"Heero?" Duo said into the phone. His head was pounding and there was a sick, bitter taste in his mouth. He had woken up alone in a strange hotel room. A brief note from Zechs had told him to order room service and to make himself comfortable. Duo had checked to make sure his clothes were still buttoned and zipped and had felt tremendous relief to discover that they were. He was puzzled, but glad that he had only made a jackass of himself and passed out drunk rather than the unthinkable alternative. He wasn't ready to give up his virginity yet, not to a man and not especially to Zechs, Milliardo Peacecraft, his enemy.  
  
"Heero?" Duo repeated. "Come on man! Don't be like this! Let's forgive and forget, okay buddy? You were wrong. I was wrong. No, I wasn't looking at you when you came out of the shower! I promise! I don't go that way, Heero, honest! Yeah... yeah, I'll get a job and I'll keep it this time. No, no more baka Duo. Hey, uh, thanks for sending me to the hospital, man. I know... yeah, I wouldn't want someone's corpse stinking up my apartment either. Thanks Heero. I'll do better this time, okay, just let me move back in... what, you threw out my stuff?" Duo swallowed hard and wiped at his eyes. "S'okay, Heero. Yeah, I'll just get new stuff. Just let me... really? Thanks man! I'll be there in an hour!"  
  
Duo hung up the phone. He took a deep breath, feeling a mingling of relief and trepidation. Time to go home.


	2. Burning Brightly

"No, don't call the police," Zechs said into his cell phone. "Let him do what he wants within reason. Charge everything to my account."  
  
Zechs lowered his phone and met the puzzled, bored, and annoyed expressions of the dignitaries seated all around him.  
  
"Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, for the interruption," Zech apologized smoothly. "We were talking about subchapter nine alpha and how it could be improvised to cover the law one eight four Zero. I think..."  
  
+  
  
Duo lay on his back amid piles of dirty dishes, tumbled glasses, and expensive pillows. He burped and giggled, smiling inanely at the ceiling as he waited for the police to arrive. The opulent hotel room, the abused wait staff, the loud music from the room stereo system, and the continuous, empty promises to pay, were all culminating, rising higher and higher on the strength of his boldness, but destined to tumble and fall and wash up on the shore of outrage.  
  
"Shinigami is at least going to be warm and have a full stomach before he gets locked in a cell," Duo sighed and then giggled again.  
  
It was a definite rush, being daring again, being the outrageous, death defying young man who had been the thieving terror of L2. Duo had pulled the same stunt there several times, but then he hadn't used the name of one of the most famous dignitaries in Outer Space or on Earth as his credit, and he hadn't waited around for the consequences to catch up to him either. That was just self destructive, yet it was exactly how he was feeling at the moment.  
  
"Damn Heero anyway!" Duo growled, found a comfortable place in the pillows that didn't bother his bandaged wounds and bruises too much, and then tried to sleep without dreams; the sleep of the innocent, the sleep of the child he had never been.  
  
+  
  
Heero Yuy paced the small, two bedroom apartment.  
  
"Why doesn't that baka call?" He grumbled and glared at the phone as if it were the phone's fault. Three days to cool down, and Duo was always ready to apologize and try again. It was day four now. Heero was beginning to worry. A distraction. He hated it. He had an important job and important duties in the Preventers. He didn't need to be worrying about an irresponsible, long haired, ex pilot.  
  
Heero rubbed at the bandage on his knuckles. It was still raw from beating Duo. Maybe he had been too rough? It was often hard for Heero to tell. He had been trained to kill, not to coddle and be wary of breaking bones. If only Duo hadn't argued. If only he hadn't lost yet another job. If only he hadn't been so damned unconcerned, irreverent, flippant, and imperfect. Heero supposed the last bothered him most of all.  
  
Heero was neat, orderly, on time, and conscientious about every detail of his life. He hadn't wanted to be saddled with a young man who was the complete opposite, yet, during the war, they had often found themselves forced to be on the same missions, in the same houses, and even in the same rooms. They had found a balancing point, of sorts, and they had managed to live in relative peace... peace, that was the root of their problems now. Duo still acted as if he were in the war, on the edge, ready to die with each rising of the sun. He couldn't bring himself to care about every day life. He couldn't get past the old habit of living what life he thought he had left to the fullest. Doing that didn't include laundry, dishes, jobs, and most responsibilities. Heero had slipped, with surprising ease, into his new life as a Preventer, transitioning smoothly from outlaw freedom fighter to responsible, law abiding citizen.  
  
Heero rubbed at his knuckles again and glared at the phone once more. Where was Duo now? How badly was he hurt? They were friends, as much as he sometimes wished that they weren't, but the silence of the apartment was growing unbearable. Heero was finding that he didn't like it, hated it enough to even put up with Duo despite what he now knew about him. Besides being the irresponsible slob that he was, Heero had also figured out that the young man was gay. He didn't even think that baka Duo knew it himself. It had enraged Heero at first, finding Duo ogling him as he had come out of the shower, but it had been the double combination of that shock and seeing Duo counting money that he couldn't possibly have gotten in his unemployed state. Duo had taken to stealing again. Heero had snapped at that and he had lost control.  
  
Heero recalled clearly coming down from his adrenalin rush of anger and finding Duo broken at his feet. The frantic call to 911 and the wait had been the longest in his life. For some reason, that small space of time, until the paramedics had arrived and assured Heero that Duo was going to live, had seemed more frantic, painful, and desperate than when he had blown up a rebel stronghold with Relena inside and had been forced to wait until confirmation that she had survived it. It bothered him that Duo could mean so much more to him. It seemed a weakness and, to Heero, it was completely unfathomable.  
  
He should be glad that Duo was gone for good, Heero thought. He should be tossing out the young man's things for real, not just saying so out of anger, yet Heero didn't make any motion to do so. It came to him that, if he kept those things, Duo would have to, at some point, come back for them. Heero was uncomfortable with self knowledge, knowing that he longed for that very thing.  
  
Heero picked up the phone and began calling hospitals again. He had punched Duo in his damaged ribs. He remembered the impact of his fist, wanting to shut the baka up and stop his pathetic attempts to explain why he had lost another job and why he couldn't get his head out of the war and into regular life. Maybe he had done the young man some real damage.  
  
Heero had heard all of Duo's excuses before, time and time again, and Heero had swallowed them, nodded sympathetically to them, and tried to help Duo as best he could. That last time though, he had stopped listening and his fist had expressed his anger and frustration. He had been glad to see Duo leave... or so he had thought. He didn't want to admit to himself that, if Duo walked through the front door, then and there, he would gladly forgive and try and help the ex Gundam pilot once more. Duo was his friend, almost his only friend, or at least one of the few that had lived the life he had and could understand him because of it. Heero knew that he would find it hard to live without that. He had to find Duo. He had to bring him back home.  
  
+  
  
Zechs looked slowly, unbelieving, over the disaster of the hotel room. How could the young man eat so much and cause so much damage in so little time and... where was he?  
  
Zechs stepped over the trash, over the plates, cups, and snack bags, walked around a television that had been placed on the floor, stepped over a childish attempt to stack furniture, and almost stepped on Duo snuggled deep in a mound of pillows and blankets on the floor.  
  
Zechs blinked, startled, and then cautiously crouched, ready to spring back. He was facing a Gundam pilot with hair trigger reflexes. Zechs was a soldier, had lived with nothing but soldiers for as long as he could remember. He knew how to behave around them. A person startled a soldier out of sleep at peril of his life.  
  
Duo was very pale and his bangs stirred with every labored breath. There was a trickle of blood at the corner of his lips.  
  
Zechs straightened as if he had been shot and he flipped his cell phone open. Quickly, he called for an ambulance. That done, he crouched again and pulled the blankets off of Duo cautiously.  
  
Duo had his arms wrapped around his ribs as if he were in pain even in his sleep... but he wasn't sleeping, Zechs realized with a chill. He was in shock.  
  
"What has happened to you now?" Zechs wondered angrily. He unwrapped Duo's arms and unbuttoned the young man's shirt. Underneath a gold cross was the same crisscrossing of bandages Zechs had seen at their first encounter, only now there was blood seeping into the bandages.  
  
"It looks as if you need me again," Zechs said grimly, but couldn't help the warmth of pleasure that mingled with his concern. The scale was tipping his way. Duo owed him a great deal now and Zechs intended to collect that debt fully.

+  
  
Duo awoke in a comfortable hospital bed, warm, full of saline solution, and, for once, well rested. It was almost a temptation to keep his eyes closed and avoid reality as long as possible, but, that wasn't his nature. He met danger and adversity head on and with a silly grin, that was his trademark. Shinigami wasn't afraid of a little reality.  
  
Duo fully expected one of his ankles to have a police security cuff to keep him from escaping. When he wriggled his feet, he didn't find one, or a police officer standing guard over his door for that matter. Instead, the door was open to an empty corridor, the hustle and bustle of hospital life coming to him faintly. It seemed he was free to go if he chose... or maybe more accurately, if he could.  
  
Duo touched his bandaged ribs. He could feel injected bonding holding the bones together. That was only used on the most desperate cases, cases who they knew wouldn't take care of themselves long enough to heal naturally. They were all but saying that they thought that Duo was suicidal.  
  
"Shows how much they know about me," Duo breathed as he tried to sit up. The world faded in and out and he decided against it. "I don't want to die," he whispered. "Heero Yuy is just trying to force me to ‘for my own good'."  
  
"Too many drugs?" a husky voice wondered.  
  
Duo started and, out of habit, reached for a weapon he didn't have. It took him a moment to orient his mind to accept that Zechs was in the same room with him and that he wasn't an enemy... yet. "Just talking to myself," Duo replied with a grin. "I'm good at that. I have to be because nobody else ever listens to me."  
  
"I'm listening," Zechs replied as he came close, but not too close to the bedside.  
  
Duo wasn't good at being contrite. He couldn't drop his grin long enough. "Ah, you're probably looking for an apology or an explanation, right? Well, if you remember, you left me a note to take advantage of the accommodations... I, uh, just took advantage of them a lot later than you probably intended."  
  
Zechs didn't allow himself to look amused, even though he was by the ex pilot's bravado. "You did considerable damage to the hotel room. That and this expert medical treatment have cost me dearly."  
  
Duo felt an edge of anger. "Yeah, well, sorry about the hotel room. I was pretty sick and out of it when I checked in. Patching me up was really nice of you, all things considered. I'm sure, though, being the brother of the Queen of the Universe, it didn't set your wallet back too far."  
  
Zechs pursed his lips. He had expected more gratitude and some sense of debt. Duo's flippant remark had caught him by surprise. He frowned and began to turn. "Well, since you are obviously going to survive your injuries, I will inform the police of my grievances against you."  
  
"Okay," Duo replied.  
  
Zechs turned back to look at him. Duo was making himself comfortable in the bed, wincing at some pain, but Zechs had obviously been dismissed from his mind already.  
  
"Okay?" Zechs echoed. "Don't you care that you are about to be charged and perhaps arrested?"  
  
"No," Duo replied as he snuggled into his pillow. "Could you close the door, man? It's noisy out there and I need to sleep some more."  
  
Zechs blinked. "Perhaps you think I am bluffing?"  
  
Duo frowned a little, a slight crinkling of his elfin face. "Why would I think that? You're a serious man. I believe what you're saying. I'm about to be arrested. Fine. Nothing I can do about it, so I'm going to catch some z's before they show up, K? Hopefully, there won't be any ex Oz personal in the force with a grudge. I don't think my ribs can take any more punches."  
  
"I'm owed something for my trouble," Zechs seethed.  
  
Duo said sadly, "Sorry, I don't own anything at the moment to repay you with. Guess you'll have to chalk it up to ‘doing it out of the goodness of your heart.' "  
  
Zechs flushed hotly and he hated the sudden feeling of guilt that washed over him. He almost suspected Duo of realizing his plans, and mocking him, but then Zechs scoffed. He hadn't given Duo any indication that he was interested in him as anything more than a curiosity from the war. Duo was just needling him for being an aristocrat and worrying about a few credits like some stingy miser.  
  
Zechs began to leave again. Duo's face was smoothing out. He was still drugged, somewhat, from the operation on his ribs, and sleep wasn't going to be a problem for the ex pilot. Perhaps keeping secrets was.  
  
"Good thing he didn't use his fist on your face," Zechs said absently as he stopped at he door.  
  
"Yeah," Duo replied around a sleepy yawn. "Well, he did, but not too much. I hid it with some skin colored sunscreen. Heero's such a bastard. " Duo yawned again. "I was just lookin' ."  
  
Zechs raised eyebrows. "Looking at what?" he prodded.  
  
"Shower. Hmm, " Duo was almost asleep. "Just looked. He got all mad. Beat the crap out of me. Wanted me to... unhm... respect his privates... oh," he hissed a chuckle. "Privacy. Stupid shit," Duo slurred. "Mmm, not gay. Just lookin. Even guys look, right?"  
  
Zechs smiled. "Yes, they do," he replied in triumph, but Duo was asleep now. He probably wouldn't even remember the conversation later.  
  
Zechs left the room, but instead of calling for the police, he made arrangements for Duo's care and left a note with some credit. The note said simply, To the Duo Maxwell charity. He knew it was going to prick the young man's pride, but Zechs was an excellent judge of character. He knew to use the whip sometimes to bring an overly spirited creature to heel. He would hold out the sugar and gain his trust again later. There was time to play out the game and Zechs wanted to draw out the diversion of Duo Maxwell as long as possible.   
  
+  
  
"Sorry, Heero.... Yes, I know I was wrong." Duo leaned against the vid screen booth and looked at Heero's dark expression. "I shouldn't have mouthed off to you. I know I have to be responsible and grow up. I can't expect you or Sally Po to pay my way through life and wipe my ass."  
  
"I need proof of the information you're giving me, Duo," Heero replied coldly. "A real paycheck stub. I want to be certain that you aren't paying your half of the bills with stolen money."  
  
"Heero!" Duo glared. "I told you where the money came from. A painted a house on Versado street. Go and look. Blue with white trim."  
  
Heero shook his head in exasperation. "You are wasting your considerable talents. If you would show some discipline, Sally Po would assign you to mechanics or field assignments."  
  
Duo went pale and grim. "No, no field assignments. I'm not- I won't take the chance that I might have to shoot someone, even if he is a bad guy. I'm done killing, Heero."  
  
"Then mechanics, at least," Heero pressed.  
  
"Yeah," Duo rubbed the back of his neck. "That would be good. I'm tired of grunt work."  
  
"Then show responsibility," Heero urged. "Show up for work on time, dressed properly, and cut your braid. You know Sally won't assign you to machinery because it is such a hazard."  
  
"I won't do that!" Duo seethed. "You know why!"  
  
"Then be content with screwing on nuts and bolts and painting houses for a living, Duo. Everyone is done coddling you and waiting for you to recover from the war."  
  
"Recover from the war?" Duo growled angrily. "How about recover from my life in general? How do you recover from that, Heero?"  
  
"You have to, Duo. We all do." Heero grew impatient. "I have work to do, Duo. I've told you my terms. Show me a pay stub, and pay your half of the rent, or you can't come back."  
  
"I've got it under control, Heero," Duo assured him. "I'll see you tonight."  
  
Heero didn't say goodbye. The vid screen just went blank. Duo looked down at the credits in his hands and sighed.  
  
"Well, thank you, Zechs," Duo muttered. "Looks like you've helped me out again." It left a bitter taste in Duo's mouth. So many people had helped him, Duo thought. Why did Zechs ‘charity' bother him so much?   
  
Duo pocketed the credits. First months rent, he thought. Now, he just needed the pay stub and then he would be able to go back home.  
  
+  
  
Zechs was sitting in an outside cafe, sipping espresso. He wore a glittering coat of scarlet and gold stitchery and his hair was loose, a fall of snow white to his waist. He was a perfect foil for the flittering, bejeweled female on the opposite side of the table from him. A major functionaries daughter, she had latched on to Zechs after a boring gathering, and Zechs had thought it impolitic to shake her off. After fifteen minutes of her babbling conversation, Zechs was completely unaware of a thing she had said so far.  
  
A dark figure strode through the crowds on the boulevard, a patch of darkness with chestnut hair and a very pale face. His two, violet eyes were enormous in his pinched face.  
  
How long had it been. Six days? The depression had almost returned full force, especially when Zechs had discovered that Duo had done nothing more exciting than give his credits to Heero Yuy. He had expected something wilder, more flamboyant from the grinning young man, not something so mundane. Zechs had expected to drop in on chaos, a party, another hotel room, something totally irresponsible.  
  
What was he looking for? Zechs wondered. They were on the high side of town. Everything was triple the price and a hundred times finer than even a few blocks away. Only upper crust dared to walk the sidewalks, frequent the shops, and dine in the restaurants, price no object at least where they were concerned.  
  
Duo leaned against a wall that was well lit. He stuck hands in his pockets. He wasn't even wearing a coat, Zechs noticed, and saw Duo settle and simply begin watching the people walking by. It wasn't long before a man approached Duo. They leaned close and talked. Duo nodded. It was then that Zechs narrowed his eyes and saw that the top of Duo's black jeans were unzipped and his belt was loose.  
  
Zechs was out of his chair in an instant and striding towards the pair, ignoring the startled eep! of his companion. She was forgotten in the rush of blood and the anger at the very idea that someone was about to slip in and claim his diversion, his prey, his Duo!   
  
"... and we don't like riff raff around here, young man, so, move along!" the man was saying to a very quiet Duo.  
  
Zechs checked his mad rush. He calmed himself with an effort. He had almost panicked and ruined the game. He waited until Duo began to walk away from the man and only then did he step forward.  
  
"We meet again," Zechs said smoothly.  
  
Duo froze and his pinched face tightened even more. He didn't look at Zechs. He was ashamed, that was clear. "I- I don't have anything to say, Zechs. Maybe another time, K?"  
  
"After it's too late to help you?" Zechs wondered. "After some rich, hairy, old, aristocrat gropes you and then pays you for the privilege?"  
  
Duo shook his head sharply and his long braid whipped about at the motion. He gripped his stomach with one arm and began walking away. Zechs blocked his path and bent a little to look into the shorter man's face. "What did you do to have him beat you this time?"  
  
"Lost my job... again," Duo sighed in defeat and then angrily. "I wasn't- why did you think I was going to-, " he was flustered, confused, embarrassed, ashamed.  
  
"Zip up your pants, Duo," Zechs said pointedly. "This never happened, all right?"  
  
Duo did as he was told with shaking hands. Zechs smile inwardly. Good. Duo was beginning to accept his authority. Duo said in a trembling voice, "I wasn't going to... not with a guy... I was hoping for..."  
  
"Some rich, old lady who liked a handsome face and purple eyes?" Zechs finished. "They don't need to pick up people off the street, Duo. They have enough respectable whores in the upper crust of society."  
  
Duo choked on a laugh and then grew suddenly bitter. "Guess this was pretty stupid, even for me."  
  
"You told me you were smarter than that," Zechs reminded him. "I would have thought that stealing would have been your first choice."  
  
Duo winced. "Can't really spring through windows and jimmied vents when I'm in this shape.... and, well, I promised Heero..."  
  
"Do you keep promises even when you're starving to death?" Zechs wondered.  
  
Duo grimaced. "I think you don't see the bigger problem. Heero's a cop. If I was caught, he'd give me more than a few broken ribs. I don't want to die just yet."  
  
"You've come close to it."  
  
"Yeah," Duo sighed and then grimaced again. "This is stupid. I'm wasting my time here. I guess... I guess I'm not thinking too clearly. I can't even move fast enough to steal someone's wallet."  
  
Zechs pulled his wallet out of his pants. He took out a few credits and then dropped it on the ground. Duo stared at it. "Finders keepers," Zechs said. "At least you don't have to steal it now."  
  
Zechs walked away without another word. Some sugar and another lash of the whip, he thought with a grim smile. He rejoined his companion in the cafe and smoothed things over with a contrived explanation. Settling back into his chair and enduring her babbling speech again, Zechs looked past her. He smiled when he saw that Duo and the wallet were both gone.


	3. Twisted Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Guys having sex with guys, maybe this time. Language. Graphic. Violence. Bad, bad Heero... I mean, really bad... *sniffles* Poor Duo.

"I'm not going to help you, if you don't help yourself," Quatre Winner said as he handed Duo a cup of tea and settled in the posh chair opposite him. With an ornate, cheery wood table and a tea service between them, doilies under scones, and the flash of very expensive tableware, Duo felt very out of place.  
  
Duo sipped at his tea and hated it. He wanted coffee, but he wasn't going to make any demands when he was at such a disadvantage. "What are you saying, Q-man?"  
  
Quatre sipped at his tea and studied Duo over the rim. He put his cup down and turned it around and around in his hands nervously. "Heero told me you had been stealing, that you had been acting very unstable."  
  
Duo scowled and shoved aside his tea. He started to get up. "I see, that bastard already called and told you not to help me. Why doesn't he keep his fucking-"  
  
"Duo!" Quatre barked.  
  
Duo stopped speaking. It always surprised him when Quatre dropped his innocent boy routine. The blonde Arabian was a shrewd business man and a politician. He wasn't an innocent or a fool. He knew when he was being played for a soft touch. Duo settled back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest sullenly.  
  
"I'm not going to throw money at your problems," Quatre informed him sternly. "That won't make them go away. You need therapy, Duo. I'll make appointments with some fine doctors and they'll help you to adjust to society. With some medication, and some positive mental therapies, you'll soon be able to live a normal life."  
  
"Medication?" Duo stood up again, frowning darkly. "Yeah, fine, medicate the problems away, medicate my stinking childhood away, medicate all the people I killed in the war away, medicate away every freakin' Oz atrocity and torture that I witnessed. Yeah, I'll be nice and normal then. I'll go get a job flipping burgers or cut my hair and be a grease mechanic for Sally Po."  
  
"It's not like that," Quatre replied softly. "They'll help you with the depression... isn't that what makes you do the crazy things you do, Duo? You try to get rid of it any way you can... it won't let you live a normal life with a normal job and responsibilities. It's too painful."  
  
Duo slumped in his chair, staring down at the hands in his lap. "Yeah," he said in a small voice.  
  
"Let me really help you," Quatre begged.  
  
Duo nodded his assent, too tired, too hungry, too needy for Quatre's help to refuse. It was becoming a habit, Duo thought darkly, thinking of Zechs. What had happened to his pride?  
  
+  
  
"I don't get it." Duo shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the psychiatrist slowly walked around him with a clipboard. Once in awhile the man lifted the clipboard and scribbled a note. Duo wondered what he was writing. Good or bad? He shivered and controlled it with an effort. It felt too much like an Oz interrogation. Sterile room, two chairs, one plain desk, and man who asked one question after another.  
  
"Mr. Maxwell, " the man said in exasperation. "You have been through three weeks of mental therapy. At the beginning of each session, I ask about your medication. What is it that you ‘don't get'?"  
  
"How you or the medication is helping me," Duo grumbled and slumped in his chair, hands hanging between his legs. "I don't feel any better than when I started."  
  
The doctor was old and wearing a white lab coat. His white hair, short clipped, and long nose, made him look unusual and very curious. He eyed Duo intently as he explained, "These things take time, sometimes years. You want instant results. That isn't going to happen."  
  
"Years?" Duo shook his head. "No way am I doing this for years, man!"  
  
The doctor scribbled something onto his clip board. "I take it, then, that you HAVEN'T been taking your medication?"  
  
"Is it supposed to make me agree to this crap?" Duo shot back.  
  
Another scribble on the clipboard. Duo saw the word, ‘paranoia' briefly before the doctor turned it away from him. Duo stood up. "That's it! I'm gone. You don't know anything about me! You can't possibly cure me when you don't even know what the problem is!"  
  
The doctor was calm as Duo headed for the door. "I can sum up your problem with a question, Mr. Maxwell."  
  
Duo looked over his shoulder and paused, curious despite his anger. "A question?"  
  
"A simple question, Mr. Maxwell," the doctor affirmed and then struck right to Duo's heart, stunning him. "What do you have to live for, Mr. Maxwell? Until you can answer that question, you won't be cured. You will continue this suicidal, destructive, immature behavior."  
  
Duo frowned and a hand raised involuntarily to rub at his aching heart. "I know the answer to your question already. It's ‘nothing'. I don't have anything to live for. There's no point to life, so I intend to enjoy myself until..."  
  
"Until?" The doctor echoed. "Do you hear yourself, Mr. Maxwell? You are quite obviously suicidal. If Mr. Winner had not given specific instructions to the contrary, I would have had you committed immediately for observation. You need help. You need therapy to help you find ‘the point' to life, Mr. Maxwell."  
  
Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about me, doc. Shinigami doesn't want to die."  
  
The doctor was very serious. "Do you imagine that your destructive habits are not a form of suicide? Mr. Maxwell, please, allow me to continue treating you. I warn you, if you go now, I will have to inform Mr. Winner. He will cut off your funds."  
  
Duo grinned, a dangerous manic grin as he walked out the door. "Thought so. It's all about the money. You don't want yourself cut of from the Winner cash cow. You're like all the rest. You don't give a flying fuck about me."  
  
Duo walked to the nearest pay vid screen, dropped in his money, and dialed Heero's number. He had told a white lie and it made him uncomfortable. There was one man who cared, but Heero was dangerous. He didn't coddle Duo with fine words and a diploma, he forced Duo to be normal with a soldier's cruelty and a hard fists when he failed to perform. It always worked... for awhile. It would do. It was bearable, Duo thought, until he found something else.  
  
+  
  
Heero watched Duo out of the corner of his eye as the young man walked across the living room to go into the kitchen. He was wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else, drying his hair with a towel briskly, the wet strands hanging all about him.  
  
Like a wet , long haired, dog, Heero thought sourly, but his eyes were zeroing in on Duo's erect, pink nipples and the very slim line of his waist. Slightly damp still, the shorts clung to the small, rounded cheeks of his ass. He looked almost feminine, Heero thought; relaxed, hair loose, shapely legs sedately taking him out of Heero's sight.  
  
Heero felt an erection. He moved his jeans uncomfortably and shifted in his chair, computerized reports forgotten for the moment. His reaction troubled him. He wasn't gay, but he took whatever opportunity presented itself. Sexual frustration hampered his efficiency. Still, he didn't want to be attracted to Duo. The young man was bad news and Heero had very little self control where he was concerned. He had allowed Duo to return to the apartment as long as he kept his job at a tile cutting factory, but Heero knew it wouldn't last long. Duo would lose that job, mouth off again, do something foolish, illegal, or just plain insane. Heero would hurt him again, it was inevitable. The boy pushed every one of Heero's buttons. It was almost as if he were asking for the punishment.  
  
Heero hated those moments when he lost control. Common sense told him to cut the young man loose, once and for all, and to forget about him. Duo was a lost cause. He shouldn't be a party to the young man's self destruction, yet, when Duo wasn't there to tease and torment him, Heero felt somehow dead inside. Heero had girlfriends. He had a rewarding career. He was on the fast track to being head of the Preventers when Sally Po stepped down. Everything was going right for him. He shouldn't need a baka from L2 to keep him company.... yet he did. He couldn't explain it even to himself, but, he felt, it was the root cause of why he lost control when Duo failed to meet his expectations. He wanted Duo around him. He wanted Duo to be his friend. He didn't want Duo to make that impossible.  
  
And now... Heero watched Duo come out of the kitchen with a sandwich and a glass of milk. The boy settled, cross legged, on the couch and stared at nothing while he ate. Heero found himself looking at the beautiful line of Duo's slim waist again and felt temptation. Heero's erection grew stronger. For the first time, Heero wanted something more than inane talk. And why not? he reasoned with himself. He needed to finish his reports. He needed to get rid of the need and its distraction. His girlfriends were inconveniently elsewhere. Duo was gay. Why would he object? Heero didn't think that he would.  
  
Heero stood and walked over to Duo. Duo didn't notice, deep in thought, mouth chewing automatically. His hair was all about him, still damp and a long way from being dry. It clung to his thin body, covering all the bone deep, black and blue bruises, the knitting ribs, and the scrapes from being thrown to the floor. Yes, Heero thought, licking his lips, it would be easy to pretend that Duo was a woman. He was very pretty in the face with his huge eyes and smiling mouth.  
  
Duo finally noticed. He looked up, blinking in confusion. "What's up, Heero?" he asked.  
  
"I wish to change our arrangement," Heero said.  
  
Duo went pale and nervous, putting milk and sandwich on the coffee table as if he were getting ready to run. "Uh, well, why? I still have my job. I've been showing up on time. I gave you all of my first paycheck. What's to change?"  
  
"I have to concentrate on my work, " Heero told him. "I find relationships with women at this time to be time consuming and distracting. It is inefficient when I only need simple relief, not their companionship."  
  
"Okay...," Duo blinked again. "So you don't want to wine and dine a girl just to get some. I can understand that. I guess Mr. Heero Yuy hand is going to get some extra attention," he chuckled, finding the entire conversation strange. Heero Yuy didn't talk about personal things, especially not about his sex life. Duo couldn't help his next question, even though a primal warning bell was going off in his head. "So, why tell me?" he smiled hopefully. "Want me to take the girls off your hands?"  
  
"That would be a mistake, since you don't have any interest in women," Heero replied, his eyes boring into Duo's.  
  
Duo's eyes widened and he felt creeping shock and uneasiness. "What? Why do you say that?"  
  
Heero cocked his head sideways as if puzzled by Duo's denseness. "I have never seen you with a woman. I have never heard you even speak of one in a sexual manner."  
  
"Uhm, I'm not that old, Heero. I guess I'm just a late bloomer." Duo started to get up, but Heero's hand closed on his shoulder and held him there. He looked at it and then back at Heero. "Okay, you wanna tell me what you're thinking, Heero?"  
  
"I wish to have sexual relations with you," Heero finally admitted. "You will give me oral stimulation, or, if you prefer, I will enter you anally. This will relieve my stress and allow me to continue working at peak performance. I will, of course, allow you a reduced rent to compensate you-"  
  
Duo slid out from under Heero's hand, wrenching his shoulder painfully. His mouth was hanging open and he felt suddenly very afraid. "I- I'm not gay!"  
  
Heero frowned. "My observations are not incorrect," he replied. "You have shown homosexual tendencies towards me. I am proposing a situation where you are allowed an outlet for your sexual urges and I am relieved of my sexual stress and need for women."  
  
Duo stammered and then he backed away. "You aren't going to pay me off to suck your cock like some L2 whore, you freakin' pervert!"  
  
"Are you a virgin?" Heero asked grimly. "That would explain your reticence. I'll show you how it's done." He reached out and grabbed Duo hard by the arms. Before Duo could resist, Heero was pinning him to the couch face down and pulling down his shorts. "A few of the women I have had sexual relations with were virgins as well. Once I entered them and demonstrated what they were to do, they were agreeable to continuing the relationship."  
  
"Get off me! Heero, I'm going to kill you! Get the hell off!" Duo screamed. He was about to be raped. His mind ran in little circles of panic as he tried unsuccessfully to throw Heero off of him, but injury and too many missed meals had made him too weak. He wasn't any match for Heero's steel bending strength.  
  
Heero's hard hand opened Duo's ass cheeks and he spit there several times. It felt warm and disgusting. Heero fondled him, squeezing flesh. "Very much like a woman's buttocks," Heero said in a low, husky voice. "I will not have any trouble imagining that they are."  
  
"Don't do this!" Duo whimpered and then, feeling every fiber of his being cringe, he offered, "I'll suck you off, man. I will. Come on! Let me do that. I don't want to get raped by you, k?"  
  
Heero grunted and suddenly Duo was being pulled up and his face was being forced towards Heero's large erection. "Rape between two men is impossible," Heero stated. "but your offer is acceptable," Heero agreed.  
  
Duo came face to slit with Heero's dripping, swollen member. He made a plan in a split second of time and squirmed under Heero's grip. "Not the hair, man. Let go of it. You don't have to force me, k? I'm gay, remember? I've always wanted to suck your cock."  
  
Heero grunted and let Duo go. He leaned back into the couch and spread his legs a little, waiting, too confident in their long friendship, Duo's passivity, and his own cold, facts. When Duo hit him with both fists clenched together, full force, straight into his scrotum, Heero collapsed in agony. Duo was up at once and slamming his foot into the side of Heero's head, not once, but twice with a burning fury. Heero toppled unconscious to the floor with barely time for a single cry.  
  
"Fucker!" Duo screamed at him, shaking from head to foot. "You CAN rape a man! You were gonna rape me! You fucking asshole!" Duo kicked him in the crotch again. "I made it through my childhood on L2 without having some ass wipe screw me, I'm not about to let Heero Fucking Yuy do it now!"   
  
Duo saw Heero stir. Terror seized Duo, even though he knew that he had the upper hand. Heero had always accomplished the impossible, a super man, it didn't seem unlikely that he would recover from that kind of punishment and either try to rape Duo again or resort to his usual tactics, beating Duo to death. It was time to get out of there.  
  
"Keep the damned rent money!" Duo shouted from his bedroom as he pulled up his shorts and tossed some of what few possessions he had into a duffel bag. He climbed into shirt and shoes, forgot his coat, and snagged his sandwich on the way out of the front door. He ran into the night, ignoring the cold and the rain. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he would never go crawling back to Heero again.

+  
  
"Sir, there's a young man at the front entrance who is asking for you," the cultured voice of the servant said with some trepidation from the intercom system.  
  
"One of Relena's servants? I‘m not in any mood to see her tonight," Zechs growled as he downed a glass of wine with a few gulps and then put the glass down on a side table a little too hard. He glared at the fireplace, lounging in a comfortable, blue cotton shirt and white cotton pants. He white hair was a loose fall over his shoulders and his bangs were disordered and hanging over his intense blue eyes. He had just sent another young man on his way after a dissatisfying evening of insipid talk and even more insipid sex. Zechs was poised to go out on the town and find another diversion, one who had more of a chance of distracting him from the darkness with in himself.  
  
"Sir...," the voice stopped and then decided to rethink his rash decision to interrupt Zechs. "I'll call for the police sir. I'm sorry to bother you. He's obviously some demented street person..."  
  
Zechs sat up straight in his chair, senses becoming alert. "Wait! Describe him."  
  
"Well, sir...," the voice struggled to find a concise description. "He is wearing shorts, sir, even in this ghastly weather, and loafers instead of proper shoes. He is blue with cold and he doesn't look well, sir. He has... well sir, he has hair at least five feet long and it's tangled and wet. I am reluctant to send him back outside for fear that he will expire in under a minute. He looks that bad off, sir. I'm sure the proper authorities will take him under their care and make certain-"  
  
"You're a good man, to care about such an individual," Zechs replied smoothly, "We should show a little charity. Have my personal physician call here at once and have him be prepared to treat someone with borderline starvation, severe contusions, broken bones possibly, and perhaps hypothermia. I will be down to see him shortly."  
  
The man seemed relieved and pleased. "Very good sir. Thank you sir. He looks like such a young child..."  
  
Zechs cut him off. He didn't want that image in his head, of a helpless, child Duo. He wanted luscious, ready to be taken advantage of, Gundam pilot, Duo instead. He tried to conjure that image and hold onto it as he made his way downstairs and found several servants standing around Duo solicitously. Duo was seated on a chair, hair loose and soaking wet all around him, purple eyes strained and nervous. He was only wearing shorts and a thin shirt. Someone had draped towels over him, but he was still shivering. He did look like a child and Zechs found himself reacting to him that way despite his best efforts not to.  
  
"Duo Maxwell," Zechs greeted smoothly.  
  
"Zechs," Duo chattered back. His arms were gripping himself tightly. Those arms were thin, the elbows knobby. Zechs saw bruises, dark and fresh, on his wrists and upper, bare arms. Something had definitely happened again.  
  
"It's a terrible night to be out in, especially so poorly dressed. " Zechs said, leaving it up to Duo how much to reveal and curious to see if he would reveal anything at all.  
  
"I-I thought," Duo tried to stop his teeth from chattering. "Maybe, we could talk awhile, you know, about old times. It seemed a good night for reminiscing."  
  
Was he that desperate for a place out of the cold and wet? What had happened with Quatre or any of the other Gundam pilots? Why didn't he go to them? It reinforced the impression that Duo was a child, a child who couldn't think how to take care of himself and needed others to take care of him. Zechs reminded himself sharply that Duo was a child of L2. He had cut his teeth on thievery and survival. If he was acting the innocent, hoping for pity, it was deliberate and calculated. Zechs hardened his heart and chuckled to himself as he began to play the game again, his need for a diversion satisfied, at least for the night.  
  
"I'm too tired for conversation," Zechs replied. "Why don't you stay in one of the guest rooms and we'll meet for breakfast when we're both rested?"  
  
Duo considered, a deliberate, face saving pause. Zechs wasn't fooled. Duo's entire body had reacted with relief at Zechs words. He was desperate. Zechs could see that clearly. "I suppose I could do that," Duo said with a shaky smile. "I'm kind of tired too. Thanks for the hospitality, Zechs."  
  
"Think nothing of it," Zechs replied and then gave orders to his staff. They hustled Duo up the stairs to a guest room, clucking and trying to get him to agree to dinner, robes, slippers, and a hot bath. Duo walked slow, not able to hide a limp, and Zechs could tell that he was at the end of his strength, still, he paused and considered each offer from the servants as if he might refuse. He didn't, though, not to any of it.  
  
Zechs waited for the doctor. When the man arrived, he gave him a terse explanation without revealing his patient's name. The doctor nodded gravely as they walked to Duo's room, saying, "Abuse? That's a nasty business. Repeated? I'll leave you the number of a good psychologist. The boy will need help. It is often hard for an abused individual to stop the urge to return and try to make things better. They often end up blaming themselves for the abuse and they believe that trying harder to be a better person, or to do what their abuser wants, will stop the cycle. He will need counseling to understand that this isn't so."  
  
They knocked and entered Duo's room. The servants were still in the room and in a panic. Zechs breasted through them with the doctor and saw why they were so upset. Duo had collapsed onto the bed, unconscious, pale, and breathing raggedly.  
  
"Damn!" the doctor exclaimed and began opening up the large case he had carried up with him. He jerked Duo's clothes off of him and examined him quickly and thou roughly, keeping his body between Duo and Zechs and the servants. "Exposure, malnutrition, contusions, slight concussion, hair line fractures, dehydration... this boy needs a hospital, sir."  
  
Zechs shook his head. Duo wasn't going to escape him again. "You were told to bring all necessary supplies with you. Whatever you require, I will have someone acquire. This is a private matter."  
  
The doctor gaped. "But..."  
  
"Your credentials are impeccable," Zechs snapped, using his best military voice. "You are quite capable of treating him."  
  
"Yes, but..," the doctor sighed, well used to aristocratic quirks. He as already making assumptions about the long haired boy and his relationship with Zechs. He could understand Zechs not wanting any scandal. "As you wish, sir. If you would clear the room, I will set up my equipment and begin treatment."  
  
Zechs leaned a little to look past the doctor. He drank in the sight of Duo's slim body. Despite being thin and damaged, he was absolutely lovely. Wiry, yet smooth and well defined, a dusting of hair here and there, but still boyishly free of it. He was a man where manhood counted most, Zechs noticed, and felt a stirring in his own manhood when he saw that. Yes, Duo was worth the trouble, he thought, and more. He nodded to the doctor as he turned to leave, half an acknowledgement and half a threat to do his very best with Duo. Once Duo was well again, Zechs thought with an anticipatory air, the scales of debt would be tipped so heavily In Zechs favor, that claiming him completely wasn't going to be any trouble at all. The field was his, Zechs thought, and so too the prize.


	4. Devil May Care

"I still recommend a hospital," the doctor said as he packed up his bag and began to leave. "But, since you still refuse that advice, I've started an I.V. to rehydrate him and I've added antibiotics. I don't see any drug scars on the boy. His urinalysis came up negative for enhancers, but it seems he was taking antidepressants not too long ago at very high levels. The physical abuse is bad enough, but, luckily, there wasn't any sign of anal tears, indicating rape, or internal bleeding. His ribs are still healing fine and a leg injury is only minor. He is beginning to have a fever and he does show signs of borderline starvation and acute stress. Those factors could push him over the edge into critical, so it is very important that he be monitored constantly." He eyed Zechs accusingly. "I still don't see why a cot can't be brought into this room to allow me to stay with him and make sure his vitals stay stable."  
  
Zechs felt respect for the doctor's commitment to his patient, but he needed time alone with Duo and he didn't want the man used to being underfoot at all times. It was better that he be regulated to a room adjacent to Duo's . On call, but not an annoyance to Zechs plans.  
  
"He's a trained Gundam pilot," Zechs finally admitted, knowing what would convince the man the easiest. "He was trained from a very early age to kill people, Doctor. I wouldn't want him to accidentally mistake you for an enemy. Unconscious, he is harmless, but he may begin to wake soon. I insist on being in the room when you treat him from now on. It is the safest arrangement. Only a trained soldier can hope to combat another trained soldier."  
  
The doctor looked at the pale boy under the heavy covers of the bed, tubes running up to bags on metal hangers and tangled hair splayed all around him. He looked harmless, a child, but there was something about his hands, the doctor thought, small, long fingered, but hard and nicked with white scars. They were corded and worn, like the hands of someone twice his age. Those hands had piloted a Gundam and had killed men in the war. Resting and relaxed, they still looked deadly. The doctor swallowed hard and nodded.  
  
"It may be inconvenient for you, sir," he replied. "I may have to visit him many times tonight, but, if you still insist... I will be grateful for your assistance."  
  
Zechs nodded quietly and closed the door behind the doctor as he left. Locking it, he turned back to Duo and approached the bed with slow, measured steps. He could take his time now. All distractions and barriers were gone. Duo was his.  
  
Even worn to the bone, the boy had a luminescent beauty, Zechs thought as he reached the bedside and simply looked down into Duo's face. The boy opened his mouth a little and Zech's saw surprisingly white, even teeth, and a delicate, moist, pink tongue. It made his crotch tighten, imagining that mouth doing wonders on his manhood.  
  
"Mine," Zechs whispered and rubbed at the front of his pants. "Mine, now, however I want you. You owe me."  
  
Zechs took hold of the blankets and slid them down Duo's body, revealing slowly and sensually, his other, beautiful attributes. Even the tubes in his arms, the bruises, the cuts and scrapes, didn't detract from Duo's perfect form. He was built like a dancer, all corded muscle wrapped in silky skin. Zechs could imagine him writhing underneath him in fierce passion, clawing and biting, being hot and vibrant, not like the venal, insipid creature he had bedded much earlier that night. No, Duo was fire, not milk and thin blood. He didn't look like the type to lay quietly and take whatever someone gave him. He would give as much as he was given, and then some.  
  
Caught up in the fantasy, and beginning to loosen his belt in preparation for the conquest, Zechs didn't notice the change in Duo at first. It wasn't until he was caressing his own manhood, standing tall and eager, and reaching a hand to Duo's smooth belly, that he felt the shivering and the blistering heat of Duo's skin. The boy groaned at the touch and his skin flinched like a skittish colt.  
  
"Heero!" Duo sobbed.  
  
Zechs straightened as if he had been struck. He stared, wide eyed, as Duo half opened his eyes in delirium and then began to struggle. "No, Heero! Don't! Please don't do that! I'll do anything else, just don't rape me! Don't! God, Heero! Stop! Please Stop!" He was sobbing wildly now and beginning to pull at the tubes in his arms, panicking.  
  
Zechs yanked up his pants and leaned over to restrain Duo. The boy went wild then, eyes flying open wide, but blind, caught in a nightmare or a memory. A tube came loose with a spray of blood that splattered Zechs in the face. He flinched, but held on. There was a pounding on the door. The doctor's voice demanded entrance. He had heard the cries from his room next door.  
  
This had to stop, now, Zechs thought, and backhanded Duo hard. The sound was loud even over Duo's cries. Duo's head snapped sharply to one side and then it was rolling back, eyes aware now and narrowed with fury.   
  
"Get off me!" Duo snarled in a weak, hoarse voice. "Where the Hell am I and what the fuck are you trying to do to me?"  
  
"You are at my home," Zechs snarled back, "and I am attempting to save your life. You are very ill. If you will calm down, I will let the physician in to take care of you!"  
  
Duo was shaking and distrustful. It took a long moment of staring into Zechs' blood splattered face, and trying to think with his fevered mind, before he stopped his struggles and lay limply. Zechs didn't trust that. He released Duo and backed up sharply, putting space between himself and a young man trained to kill with his body.  
  
Duo suddenly smiled, a manic grin below glittering, fevered eyes. "Yeah," he said. "Let the doctor in and then explain to me why you're in here and he's out there behind a locked door. The explanation better be a good one too, or I'll show you what I can do even when I'm shitfaced sick."  
  
Zechs gave him a hard look as he walked towards the door. "Like you showed Heero Yuy? Is that why you ended up on my doorstep wearing practically nothing and freezing to death?"  
  
Duo bristled even though he was turning very pale and his eyes were becoming glassy. "I -I had stuff... I was robbed... and yeah, I kicked Heero's ass, but that's my business, not yours!"  
  
Zechs stopped, ignoring the pounding on the door. He narrowed his eyes at Duo and Duo went quiet and nervous. "Do you think you're OWED my help?"  
  
Duo didn't reply, but his hands were knotting in his blankets.  
  
Zechs answered his own question with measured intensity. "I will ask for repayment, Duo Maxwell, even if it may be only an acknowledgement of my generosity on your part... a thank you, perhaps, and dare I ask it, some trust?"  
  
Duo closed his eyes and tossed his head, fighting the fevered delirium. "Trust?" he croaked, "I'm through trusting people. I knew better than to do that on L2. I shouldn't have forgotten the lessons I learned growing up there. People there either wanted something from you or they wanted to do you. Seems the Earth... isn't... any... different." His last words trailed off and he was suddenly unconscious, muscles going limp. He looked like an abused and weary child.  
  
Zechs felt something... respect, maybe, that such spirit and will could make such a thin and beaten body so powerful and alive when Duo was awake. Guilt nibbled at the corners of Zech's mind, followed by doubt. He tried to ignore those feelings, opening the door and turning his thoughts to the alarmed and red faced doctor.  
  
"Sir?!" The man exclaimed as he looked wildly about. "What happened? I heard shouts! The door was locked! I was about to call the staff to help me break it down. Why didn't you answer my calls, sir?"  
  
Zechs pushed his long hair out of his face in a weary fashion. "Maxwell became delirious. I had to hold him down to keep him from hurting himself. Forgive me for locking the door. It's on old soldier's habit. I had intended to stay and keep watch on Maxwell myself, to allow you to rest. I never imagined that he would take such a quick turn for the worse."  
  
They both approached the bed. The doctor examined Duo anxiously and then looked very concerned. "Fever," he said. "We were too late administering the antibiotics."  
  
"You can treat him?" Zechs asked.  
  
"Yes," the doctor replied. "It's a complication I was preparing for."  
  
"Excellent," Zechs approved and then frowned as he added, "Maxwell said some shocking things while he was struggling."  
  
The doctor was reattaching the I.V. lines and taping them in place. He only glanced at Zechs briefly, intent on his work. "If he was delirious, you shouldn't put too much trust in the validity of anything he said, sir."  
  
"Still," Zechs replied. "I think you should check him for signs of rape again."  
  
The doctor raised eyebrows as he began wiping away the blood with alcohol swabs. "Is that what he spoke about? Rape?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
The doctor nodded and began taking out specimen collectors. "I'll do a DNA scan then and look for intestinal damage. I didn't see any blood in my first exam, but there wouldn't be if the perpetrator was careful."  
  
Zechs jaw tightened. "Make certain you sedate Maxwell heavily before you start. We wouldn't want him waking up during that kind of re-examination and breaking your neck, Doctor."  
  
The doctor went pale, stammering, "Y-Yes, sir, I mean, no, sir, I certainly wouldn't."  
  
Zechs turned away as the doctor lowered the blankets on Duo and injected him with a strong sedative. He didn't watch the exam or the sample gathering. He waited until the doctor had finished, tucking Duo back into bed comfortably, and then appearing at Zechs' elbow.  
  
"I didn't see any intestinal damage or blood," the doctor reported quietly. "I'll send my samples to the lab in the morning and have them screened for semen DNA. If the young man was raped, we'll know by whom by early afternoon."  
  
Zechs nodded and went through the motions of thanking the doctor and convincing the man to leave once again. "You need your rest," Zechs insisted. "I've done field surgery. I know something about caring for sick men. I think you sedated Maxwell so well, he probably won't be waking up until your lab results arrive tomorrow, anyway."  
  
"Yes, sir," the doctor agreed as Zechs began to close the door on him. "Please, leave the door unlocked this time, sir?"  
  
"Of course," Zechs agreed. He closed the door and listened until he heard the man return to his own room. Then, Zechs locked the door despite promise not to. No more interruptions, Zechs thought as he returned to Duo's bed.  
  
The boy was very pale now, the sweat of fever on his brow. Zechs felt that smooth skin and felt the heat. Brushing the damp bangs out of Duo's eyes, Zechs couldn't stop the sick images from entering his mind of Heero Yuy, pinning that young man down and doing his worst, wringing shrieks out of Duo, a proud, strong ex Gundam pilot. Duo had escaped, unviolated hopefully, yet certainly not without some revenge on Heero Yuy. Duo had left almost everything behind, been robbed of what little he had managed to take with him, and then had made his way through cold and rain to Zechs doorway. Zechs remembered his pride, his strength, and his calculated manipulation of Zechs and his staff to secure himself a place out of the weather.   
  
Zechs dropped his hand and took a step back. An L2 criminal, a nobody, a shallow, irresponsible, waste of space. Zechs had justified his own actions with those images of Duo. What did it matter to street trash if a prince decided to pick him up out of the gutter and show him some favor? A person like that should be grateful, eager to ...   
  
Zechs turned away from the bed. He felt the darkness gathering at the edges of sight, threatening him, holding up a putrid picture of himself, no better than Heero Yuy; a rapist. Madness, Zechs thought as he unlocked the door and left the room. He was mad to have considered crushing the bright flame of Duo Maxwell under his lust and need to keep away the depression. The mental image that depression gleefully showed Zechs couldn't be avoided no matter which way he turned. He could clearly see the monster in him, slowly taking over, a monster who had thought nothing of using men as diversions. Had he really considered raping Duo for a diversion?  
  
Zechs groaned and clawed at his handsome face, scratching his skin and mingling his blood with the blood of Duo still there. Giving orders to the alarmed staff to give Duo all he wanted and to allow the doctor access to whatever he needed, Zechs packed a bag and left his home, searching for a place to buy strong drink and a hotel room to drown himself in.   
  
+  
  
"He was here. He left," Heero said as he typed up a report. The vid phone was to his right, Quatre's worried face a blur on the edge of Heero's sight.  
  
"Again?" Quatre sighed. "Was he taking his medication or seeing another doctor?"  
  
"He didn't confide in me any information," Heero replied. "Medication? Explain?"  
  
"Uhm, well, I guess I can discuss it with you, you are his best friend," Quatre said nervously.  
  
"Hn," Heero grunted.  
  
"He was having a problem with depression," Quatre explained. "I told him I wouldn't help him unless he sought professional help. His medication was for the depression."  
  
"Hn," Heero stopped typing and brought up a profile of Duo Maxwell. He began adding the new information to it.  
  
"I'm worried about him, Heero. The doctor said that he was sounding suicidal."  
  
"He was not suicidal when he arrived here," Heero told him and saw some relief on Quatre's face. "But we had a disagreement and I am not certain of his state of mind at this time." Quatre tensed again.  
  
"What did you argue about?" Quatre wondered and then tried to answer his own question. "I suppose he lost another job?"  
  
"No," Heero replied. "I wished to set up a new arrangement between us and he strongly resisted. His reaction puzzled me until you informed me of his mental state."  
  
"What arrangement?" Quatre asked.  
  
Heero paused, not out of guilt or embarrassment, but out of an ingrained reluctance to let anyone know so much about him. He still considered it a compromise of his safety and position. Enemies as well as friends could make use of such information and Heero knew that he had many enemies from the war.  
  
Quatre filled the silence suddenly with an apology. "Uh, that's okay, Heero. I know you've been under a lot of stress. I can imagine that even a simple request for Duo to do the dishes would have seemed intolerable to him."  
  
"Hn," Heero replied as he began typing more information into Duo's file.  
  
"You're a good friend to Duo, Heero," Quatre finished by saying. "He's lucky he has you to take care of him, at least when he lets you. If you see him again..."  
  
"My arrangement to him is still available," Heero replied. "He may live here again if he chooses."  
  
Quatre nodded and smiled in relief. "That's good, Heero. I hope he comes to his senses... well, he always does in the end, doesn't he? At least for a little while. Take care Heero and tell Duo my offer of treatment still stands as well."  
  
"Acknowledged," Heero replied. "Goodbye, Quatre. I have reports to finish."  
  
"Of course," Quatre said with a small chuckle. "I will wish that your dedication to your work , and your complete integration into civilian society, graces Duo someday as well. Goodbye, Heero."  
  
The vid screen went blank and Heero closed it. He glared at Duo's profile. Where was the braided baka? The apartment was as chill as ice and empty without him. Heero was finding it hard to function efficiently. His nights were becoming sleepless, listening to the silence and feeling that emptiness creeping up on him to swallow his control whole.  
  
Heero stood and gave the apartment a severe look. He didn't understand why the loss of Duo bothered him so much. He had spent his life alone, unloved, untouched, his inner being wrapped up in training and missions. His fingers closed as if longing to feel those hard muscles and silky flesh underneath him again.  
  
Pinning Duo to the couch, feeling him struggle and call his name... it had validated Heero's existence somehow in a way the women in his life never had. Duo SAW him, reacted to him, and maybe feared him, but it was better than the inane chatter of females who only wanted him for his position and the men sycophants who sought out his company for the same. Only Duo looked at him and saw Heero Yuy for who he was, flesh and blood and sometimes friend. He had the magic to make the perfect soldier feel alive. Heero had to have that back. Duo had to be found.  
  
Heero sat at his computer, hooked up to the Internet, and began to search and hack through files, a shark slicing through the waters of technology and bypassing civilians bathing in it's power, unaware of their danger. He patrolled for a drop of scent, a drop of blood in an ocean, Duo's blood, Duo's scent. It as there, somewhere....  
  
+  
  
"Nothing keeps me down for long," Duo told the doctor as he put on his boots. "I've always healed fast, but I think the doctor who trained me modified me in some way to heal even faster."  
  
The Doctor watched Duo, who had been borderline critical two nights ago, stand and stretch and look, except for a slight wince in acknowledgement of some unhealed wounds, as if he had never been ill. He had lazed in bed, read newspapers and magazines, eaten an incredible amount of food, and talked non stop to anyone who would listen. The doctor had found the ex Gundam pilot to be funny and very pleasant, not at all put out by his confinement or illness.  
  
"Still, you should rest and avoid a relapse," the Doctor told him. "Milliardo Peacecraft has given orders that you are his guest and to be treated accordingly."  
  
Duo frowned as he flipped his long, thick braid over his shoulder. He ran a hand down the black pants he wore and touched the lapel of his long, black coat. It had a very thick, black fur lining and warm gloves in a pocket. All gifts from Zechs. It left a sour taste in Duo's mouth. He had a hazy memory of waking up in a panic, Zechs leaning over him, and someone... the doctor trying to get into the locked room. The doctor had been confused on the details, unable to explain. Duo, still raw from Heero's abuse, felt an unhealthy paranoia concerning the white haired aristocrat. It was better to deal with the situation and maybe get an explanation from the safety of his own place, or the place he intended to have if he still had his job at the tile factory.  
  
"I think I've imposed long enough," Duo replied at last. He grinned at the doctor and the doctor found it infectious. "Thanks for taking such good care of me, Doc. You sort of revived my faith in the medical profession."  
  
The doctor clapped Duo on the back good naturedly, "I'm glad to hear it. If you need my services, please call." He paused and then added seriously. "If you need more antidepressants, I can fill a prescription for you."  
  
Duo's smile faltered, but then it gained strength as he realized that the doctor had found out, somehow, and was asking only out of concern. "Ah, no thanks, Doc," Duo replied as he went out the door. "They didn't help me much. See ya around!"  
  
Duo made his way downstairs, whistling a happy tune and ignoring the aches, the pains, and the fatigue from fighting his brief illness. A servant approached at once. "Mr. Maxwell," the servant greeted him.  
  
Duo grinned. "Henry! What's up?"  
  
The man smiled, but he looked disappointed as well. "I take it that you are leaving us, sir?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Time to leave the lap of luxury and stop sponging off of old Zechs."  
  
Henry chuckled. "It was a pleasure hosting you, sir. I'm certain, Prince Milliardo would not mind in the slightest if you were to remain a while longer."  
  
Duo grimaced and scratched his head as he said apologetically. "Yeah, well, I wanna take advantage of that, but... something happened that made me realize how important independence is. I need to get some of that." Henry looked worried so Duo disarmed him with another smile. "Never mind, Henry. I just need to thank Milliardo and then I'll be on my way. Where can I find him?"  
  
Henry looked uncomfortable. "Well, sir, it isn't really my place to say. He didn't give orders to that effect. I will say that he isn't in residence at the moment, hasn't been actually, since the night you took so ill."  
  
Duo blinked, surprised. Again he remembered Zechs' face above him, looking at him with intensity. Disturbed and not certain what to think, Duo asked again, "Come on, Henry! Me and Zechs go way back!" The man quirked an eyebrow at the lithe youth in front of him, speaking as if he were a grizzled war veteran instead of someone barely legal enough to drink. "He'll want to know where I'm going. He'll want to talk to me. I have to thank him. You can understand that, can't you?"  
  
Henry thought it over and then he nodded. "He did say that you were to be given anything you asked for."  
  
"Then I'm asking," Duo laughed.  
  
+  
  
Zechs finished the last bottle of whiskey and tossed it aside. It thumped and rolled on the lush white carpet of the hotel room, leaving spots in its wake. This was his third day of being drunk and still he couldn't avoid self knowledge. It ate at him like acid, carving wounds in his mind that he didn't think would ever heal.  
  
The depression covered him like a dark cloak or a dear friend; a false friend, a friend who wanted his destruction. No more distractions, Zechs thought, and the drink was powerless against it this time. The depression was consuming him. What would happen when it consumed him utterly? Zechs was too much of a coward to find out.  
  
Meticulously cleaned gun, metallic with silver fittings. A wealthy man's toy. A soldier's lifesaver. This time, Zechs thought bitterly as he took it from its shoulder holster hanging over a chair back, it was going to be his executioner. It was time he stopped avoiding his punishment.  
  
Zechs strode to the center of the room. He stood dramatically at attention and raised to gun to his temple. "Milliardo Peacecraft, for your crimes against Earth and Outer Space, I do hereby sentence you to d-"  
  
"Could you hold up the execution for a moment, Zechs?"  
  
Zechs flinched and turned. Duo Maxwell was standing inside his bedroom, watching him with serious, amethyst eyes and a strained smile on his lips. Zechs blinked, thinking it was some sort of alcohol hallucination, but the slim figure of the ex Gundam pilot came closer and seemed very solid.  
  
"What-?" Zechs didn't lower the gun. "How did you get in here? I locked the door."  
  
Duo flicked open his hand for a moment. In it were lock picks. He pocketed them and then cocked his head curiously at Zechs, "I don't want to get blood all over me and brain bits. Do you mind waiting until I say what I came to say? I'll say it quick and then leave you to uh, your weird kind of fun, I guess."  
  
Zechs lowered the gun, staring, not able to comprehend that Duo was standing in his bedroom having a nonchalant conversation with him, as if what Zechs had been about to do was perfectly normal and acceptable.  
  
"Ah, good," Duo said and grinned engagingly. "I ah, just came to say thanks for the hospitality. Everyone was great to me."  
  
"You are most welcome," Zechs replied numbly, automatically polite. "Feel free to call again. The doors of the Peacecraft home are always open to you."  
  
Duo shook his head with a frown. "Well, they won't be after you, uh, execute yourself."  
  
Zechs blinked and then sluggishly thought that over. "I suppose you are right. I am sorry."  
  
Duo chuckled. "You are, aren't you? You're such a polite man, Zechs. You're even politely executing yourself, not bothering anyone, except maybe the maid who has to clean it all up."  
  
"There are certain responsibilities that one must take on oneself," Zechs replied. "Now, If you'll excuse me, I really must attend to business. I thank you for your courtesy in acknowledging my hospitality."  
  
"Well," Duo replied, scratching his head thoughtfully. "I remember you said something about being grateful and how it wasn't owed to me. It made me think. Maybe I've been expecting help from too many people for too long. I'm going to try to make it on my own for awhile."  
  
Zechs stared at the beautiful face, confident eyes, and determined mouth of Duo Maxwell. He felt longing and regret. If things had been different, if he had taken the time to befriend Duo, if he had not fallen under the dark hands of depression, If he had not tried to take from Duo... as if it were owed him, something might have developed. He could feel a definite attraction to the young man and it wasn't all lust.  
  
"Well," Duo said as he turned for the door. "Thanks again.... oh, ya know, if you're executing yourself because you tried to blow up everyone on the Earth, I personally would rather you stayed alive and suffered guilt for the rest of your life. A bullet to the head is too quick. Just a thought."  
  
Zechs felt a chill of shock at Duo's calm, matter of fact words. It brought home, brutally, the realization of who he was talking to, a young man who had seen more death, more atrocities, and more battle than Zechs had seen in his entire career. That he continued to grin and contemplate growing up and becoming independent despite it... Zechs felt suddenly very weak and cowardly. He had been going to take the easy way out and it had taken Duo to point it out to him.  
  
"Where will you go?" Zechs wondered in a small, ashamed voice.  
  
Duo shrugged, pausing at the doorway and rolling eyes in thought. "I don't know. I don't have anything... maybe," he hesitated and Zechs heard a definite edge of apprehension to his voice. "Maybe I can have Heero send me my stuff. Probably not though. He was... well, he'll still be pretty mad, though we've punched each other's lights out before. I guess I'm broke until my next paycheck. I'll have to use my charm to get some landlord to rent to me on I.O.U.s."  
  
"What job do you have?"  
  
Duo looked wary and then shrugged. "Tile making."  
  
"Do you enjoy it?"  
  
Duo scowled. "Of course not! I'm a pilot!"  
  
Zechs licked dry lips and then said, hopefully, "I have many positions on my staff. I'm certain I can find you some piloting work. I have eight transport vehicles, two jets, and a shuttle. You won't be coddled, of course, you will have to show skill and dedication and you will be under the complete direction of the heads of those areas. Room and board comes with all positions on my staff."  
  
Duo looked wary. He had his pride and he didn't trust a man who's motives were a mystery to him. It was plain that he was about to refuse, despite a glitter of eagerness in his eyes at the opportunity to pilot again.  
  
Zechs caressed his gun and then reholstered it. "You're wondering why. We have distinct problems because of who we are. No one cares. No one wants to help. No one wants to be bothered by ex soldiers who can't forget the spilled blood and who don't know any other way than war. They have their peace. They don't want to be reminded of how much it cost. We have to help each other, because they won't help us. Let me make a place for you that you can accept and function in. I can't bring you peace or make you forget your devils and nightmares. I have too many of them myself, but I can make life a little better for you. After the sacrifices you made for Earth and the colonies, you are OWED that much."  
  
"Stay of execution then?" Duo wondered with narrowed eyes, still considering. "None of that is going to happen unless you're around to give the orders."  
  
"Stay of execution," Zechs agreed and found a sickly smile. "Agreed, then?"  
  
Duo broke into a grin. "Agreed."


	5. Ties That Choke

Yates, Duo's new boss, looked the ex Gundam pilot up and down angrily. To him, it was obvious how Duo had landed such a choice job. Everyone knew that Zechs had an eye for a pretty ass, man or woman. Well, Yates thought, he'd show this little piece that he didn't stand for that crap when men's lives were at stake.  
  
"You have five minutes to run through the simulated crash landing," the big, hairy man growled as he thumped his clipboard against his leg. His army sergeant expression and crew cut were calculated to intimidate.  
  
Duo was astonished. "Five minutes? Do you want anyone to survive?"  
  
The man chewed hard on an unlit cigar, moving it from one side of his mouth to the other before barking. "What kind of question is that?!"  
  
Duo shrugged as he opened the simulator door. "You've heard of acceptable casualties, haven't you?"  
  
Yates closed a hand around Duo's braid, bringing him up short. "In this outfit, there are no acceptable casualties, got that?"  
  
Duo looked down at the man's hand, hairy fist closed on one of the most important things he owned, his hair. "Let go or I'll-"  
  
"Are you threatening me?" Yates snarled.  
  
Duo glared. He was much shorter and definitely much slighter than his boss, but there was an air about Duo, a steely determination and a glint in his eye that spoke of Shinigami; the killer. Yates found himself letting go and stepping back. He raised the clipboard as if he thought that he could defend himself with it.  
  
"No casualties," Yates ordered. "One try. No second chances."  
  
The man fully expected Duo to whine and to bring up Zech's name in his defense. Duo only shrugged again and stepped into the simulator.  
  
Duo was now in a shuttle mock up coming in for a landing. He settled into a chair meant for a much bigger man. Looking like a child, he strapped himself in, as if it were a real flight, knowing that the simulator would give him just as much turbulence as one. He checked his instrument locations and then, without even mentally preparing, he hit the switch that started the scenario.  
  
Jettison fuel so that the shuttle doesn't become a bomb, Duo thought quickly. Detach wings so that they don't catch and tear up the shuttle on the ground. Drop engines so that the shuttle will glide better. Deploy stabilizer stub wings for stability. Belly down beside the hard runway into softer dirt. Elapsed time; four minutes, fifty nine seconds.  
  
Duo climbed out of the simulator and met the purple face of his boss. The man was stabbing a finger at the monitor. "Three hundred dead on the ground!" He shouted at the top of his voice, startling the other workers in the hanger. "You dropped your engines on an apartment complex, your wings into the terminal, and dumped your fuel on a city street where it caught fire! What possible justification can you give me for murdering those people?"  
  
Duo narrowed his amethyst eyes. "You told me, ‘No acceptable casualties'. I assumed you meant in the shuttle. Run any simulation you like, you won't find another solution that will allow your passengers to survive. I was just the pilot," he added coldly. "You gave the orders. You told me five minutes. You murdered those people on the ground, not me."  
  
"You are insane!" Yates exploded.  
  
Duo laughed. Yates was dumbfounded, not having expected that reaction at all. "You're forgetting who you're talking to," Duo replied mockingly.  
  
Yates threw his clipboard hard at Duo. The edge of it caught Duo in his still healing ribs. Duo winced, but he refused to show any other indication that he was hurt.  
  
"You're grounded!" Yates snarled as he spun and strode angrily away, throwing over his shoulder, "Get used to the grease pits. That's the only place where you'll be working!"  
  
"So much for second chances," Duo seethed at the retreating man's back and then carefully sat on the cement hanger floor. Hugging his ribs with both arms, Duo rode wave after wave of pain.  
  
"Not a good first day, Maxwell?" a voice said nearby.  
  
Duo looked up and saw the familiar face of Chang Wu Fei. Duo grimaced. "It's just gotten worse," he replied. "What are you doing here? Last I heard, you had a cushy job with Relena Peacecraft managing her security details."  
  
"That hasn't changed." Wu Fei gave Duo an arrogant, assessing, once over. "Looks like you haven't changed either. You're still a waste."  
  
"Still such a ‘people person', aren't you Wufei?" Duo retorted with a grin, teeth gritted in pain and anger.  
  
"Have some pride," Wu Fei growled, looking quickly about them as if he was afraid that Duo's behavior would make him look bad. "Get off of the damned floor and face me like a man when you insult me!"  
  
Duo slowly rose to his feet, arms still wrapped around his middle, his plastered on smile never faltering. "I have stuff to do, Wufei," he replied tightly. "Unless you want to have a few drinks and talk about old times-"  
  
Wu Fei snorted derisively, "With you? The worst Gundam pilot? The fool who soiled our reputation? We are heroes, Maxwell. Our part in the war is honored. You make a mockery of that; the pilot who works menial jobs, the pilot who insulted heads of state at our awards ceremony, the pilot who was so weak he was forced to seek mental help-"  
  
Duo went white, shocked to his core. "Who told you that? Who told you I was seeing a doctor?"  
  
Wu Fei sneered. "It was in the news, Maxwell. Did you really think that bit of information wouldn't be picked up by the people who wish to discredit the war and all those who took part in it?"  
  
"Relena, you mean?" Duo snapped back, feeling a hot, molten flush of anger seethe through every vein.  
  
"Mustn't glorify war," Wu Fei said without replying to that charge. " Mustn't have war heroes. You gave them perfect ammunition."  
  
Duo felt a pit open up inside of himself and he felt ready to fall in. Everyone knew that he had seen a psychologist? Everyone was talking about it, laughing at him, maybe? Duo blamed the doctor. He knew that Quatre would never betray his trust, gentle kindness and morals aside, Quatre knew better than to piss off another Gundam pilot, another killer.  
  
"You look awful, Maxwell, "Wu Fei said, breaking into his thoughts. The dark haired, young man slitted black eyes at Duo. "You look at the end of your rope. Why don't you do everyone a favor and hang yourself with it?"  
  
He turned abruptly and walked away, returning to the business he had been attending to before he had met up with Duo. Duo glared after him and then slowly limped out of the hanger. Going to the dorm of one room apartments where the crew lived, where he was now living at the moment, he began to wonder what Heero was doing.  
  
+  
  
Zechs stared at the clipboard and then glared at the big man before him. "Yates, I want everyone to assemble here at the simulator, now."  
  
Yates chewed nervously on his cigar. "Yes, sir," he replied and then began shouting for his men. As they began to come from all areas of the hanger to gather around him and Zechs, he angrily began to wonder what exactly the long haired whore had said to Zechs.   
  
Zechs faced the crowd. "Yates has kindly volunteered to show you his new simulation and his skill at piloting it."  
  
"Sir?" Yates started. "If this is about that Gundam pilot, I assure you, anything he said-"  
  
Zechs eyes became like cold, blue, ice chips. Yates closed his mouth. "I haven't spoken with him," Zechs informed him. "I came to see your evaluations of All new recruits." He glanced briefly at the clipboard. "I can see that you used the standard simulation for all of the new recruits, except for Maxwell. If you've instituted a new simulation, I want to assure myself that it is up to my standards. A demonstration is in order, I'm sure you agree?"  
  
"Yes, sir," was all that Yates could say.  
  
"Very good then." Zechs smiled and it wasn't a pleasant smile. It was as sharp as glass. "You have five minutes, Yates."  
  
"Sir?!"  
  
Zechs frowned, playing confusion. "Isn't that the time you gave Maxwell?"  
  
"Yes, sir, but-"  
  
"Five minutes, Yates."  
  
Yates' shoulders slumped. He pocketed his cigar and climbed into the simulator, knowing exactly what was going to happen and preparing himself for humiliation.  
  
Six minutes later, Yates climbed out and faced the crowd. They were shocked, having watched him completely destroy the shuttle and everyone on board on a monitor. Yates said nothing, knowing his sentence before Zechs spoke, and wincing when he realized that Zechs was going to make it even more humiliating for him.  
  
As if he were giving a lecture to a classroom, Zechs asked, "Who can tell me who was at fault in this crash?"  
  
Calls of ‘Yates' peppered the crowd. Zechs waited, ignoring them. Finally, a middle aged mechanic said as he wiped grease off of his hands, "The mechanic who should have checked the engines before take off."  
  
Zechs raised eyebrows. "Partly," he said.  
  
"You sir," Another, younger voice said at his elbow.  
  
Zechs looked at a tall, well built man in his late twenties. He had a shock of white blonde hair and dark green eyes. His uniform was a pilots. Zechs didn't make it easy for him. "My fault?"  
  
"You gave the order for a five minute landing." The man replied without hesitation. "That Gundam pilot said the same thing to Yates. It's the truth. It's your fault that the shuttle crashed."  
  
Zechs watched the young man's eyes. They didn't waver. Zechs nodded finally. "Excellent, but what possible landing could have saved both shuttle, passengers, and civilians on the ground, even if more time had been allotted?"  
  
Another young man looked at the screen and the mock up scenery. He pointed to a farmer's field that was longer than the runway. "There sir. It could have landed there without any trouble. Plowed dirt is softer than hard packed runway dirt. Engine, wings, and fuel could have been jettisoned safely without ground casualties."  
  
Zechs nodded, almost agreeing, but he waited for the blonde to speak. He could sense him itching for his turn. He broke in hard on the heels of the last man. "Space, sir," he said to Zechs. He motioned to the monitor. "Thrusters are still online. The shuttle could have been piloted into space to await rescue. Need for a crash would have been eliminated."  
  
Zechs found a genuine smile. "Excellent. What's your name, pilot?"  
  
"Riley, sir, Peter Riley."  
  
"Peter Riley," Zechs repeated. "You are now in charge here. Yates," he didn't look at the man, "You are dismissed. Collect your belongings and leave. I don't tolerate a man who uses his position to carry out personal vendettas." He looked around at the others. "Thank you gentlemen, ladies. You are dismissed."   
  
The crowd broke up, talking excitedly. Yates walked away in a daze.  
  
Zechs cued up Duo's simulation on the monitor and motioned Riley to watch it with him. The scene was brutal, wild, and ... Zechs sighed as he turned to Riley. "Evaluation?" he demanded. It was another test. The man surely knew Duo had been there on his, Zech's recommendation. Would he give an honest opinion?  
  
Riley swallowed, but he stepped up to the plate and told the truth. "His piloting skills are phenomenal, sir. In a battle, I would definitely want him fighting beside me. In a civilian situation though, he is clearly unstable, sir. He killed three hundred people in the simulation to carry out his orders to the letter, without question, and, I clearly saw, that he showed no remorse or willingness to consider another alternative. He should have known, just as I had, that taking the shuttle into space would have been the better solution. Instead, he chose to follow orders. I recommend that he be grounded, sir."  
  
Zechs turned off the monitor and said the only thing he could, putting safety and other men's lives before his personal feelings; his desire to give Duo some reason for staying and being available to him, "I agree with your recommendation. I'll inform him myself."   
  
+  
  
Duo felt chill fingers running up his spine. He lay on his back on his hard bed and stared up at the ceiling as he talked to the vid phone. The image was off, but that didn't comfort Duo. It seemed more disturbing somehow to hear Heero's voice come out of the blackness.  
  
"I know the way you think, Heero," Duo said nervously, twisting the end of his braid around and around in his hands. "You probably thought that you were being perfectly reasonable when you tried to-"  
  
"I was," Heero replied, cool and sharp. "It was a logical solution to both of our problems."  
  
Duo frowned. "I didn't have a problem, Heero."  
  
Heero begged to differ. "We are both males in need of constant sexual release. The arrangement I proposed would have allowed for us to discharge that need and continue to concentrate on our work."  
  
Duo wanted to grab the vid screen and hurl it at the wall. He clenched his hands on his braid and said, "That makes perfect sense to you, I can tell. The way you were raised, maybe you can't think of it any other way. What I want to know is, why you didn't stop... I was begging you, Heero." Duo began to shiver, the memory of it washing over him; Heero pinning him down, his hands on his ass, the spit, and the sure knowledge that Heero had been about to thrust himself into him.  
  
"I've often encountered reluctance among inexperienced sexual partners," Heero replied. "I concluded that you were experiencing the same reluctance due to your confusion about your sexual orientation."  
  
Duo bristled, "Dammit, Heero! I'm not a homosexual!"  
  
"That statement is contrary to all of my information and observation," Heero replied. He paused and then said something that made the hairs on the back of Duo's neck stand up. For a moment, he didn't sound like Heero Yuy. His voice was too stiff, too contrived, uneasy with stating his next words. "If my proposed arrangement is unacceptable, then we will return to our previous arrangement. I will not ask for sexual relations with you again."  
  
"No hard feelings, you mean?" Duo translated bitterly. "I can come back to the apartment?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Duo let Heero wait. He stared at the four, plain walls of his apartment, at the very minimal kitchenette, at the table and chairs of metal, and at the bare, cold floor. He thought of working as a mechanic, greasing parts and doing basic maintenance. It wasn't a bad job and it paid well. There wasn't any shame in it, despite what Wu Fei had said, yet Duo couldn't help a sting of pride, remembering what he had been, Gundam pilot and hero. That pride wanted Duo to throw aside job and cell like apartment, even if it meant returning to Heero. It was a strong temptation to fall back into the old pattern and self destruct rather than be anything less than what he had been during the war.  
  
But, what had he been living with Heero or even Quatre? Needy, dependent, and irresponsible to himself and everyone around him. In a hotel room a few days before, Zechs had shown him the inevitable end of that behavior, a self loathing so acute that he could only find one solution to cure it.  
  
"Hey, Heero," Duo said at last.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Can you send my stuff to me? I think I'll be hanging out on my own for awhile," Duo told him, trying to sound confident, trying not to cut his ties all together. "Keep the door unlocked, though. I might need to come back if things don't work out, k?"  
  
Heero's voice replied without change of emotion, "Of course. Give me your address."  
  
Duo rattled it off and felt relief. Heero was sounding... odd, but not angry. "Great! Uh, Heero?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Sorry about, ya know, hitting you below the belt and all."  
  
Heero paused as if he had forgotten about it and then he replied matter- of -factly. "It was a good defense. Very effective."  
  
"Uh, okay. Thanks Heero."  
  
The vid phone clicked off without a goodbye from Heero. Duo lay in the silence and suddenly thought about the things he had just said to Heero. His stomach churned on bile. He- He had apologized for fighting Heero to keep the man from raping him! Why- Duo sat up and put his head in his hands. His temple throbbed. Why had he done that? He wondered. Was securing a tried and true safe place for himself so important that he would forgive Heero anything?  
  
Again Duo remembered Heero's weight on him, his hands, that wet spit running down the crack of his ass, warm and threatening worse to come. Duo sprang up from the bed, ignoring his protesting ribs and bruises. He had to get away! It was unreasoning that impulse. What was he getting away from? It was done, over, the perpetrator half a city away. Still, Duo went to the door of his apartment and jerked it open, everything inside of him urging him to get away, run from the memory of what Heero had tried to do to him.  
  
"Asshole!" Duo cursed at himself, remembering how weak and helpless he had been. "Worthless! Useless! Waste of Space! Wu Fei was right! Maybe I should just find a rope!" he shouted in self loathing at himself as he rushed through the door.  
  
Duo ran straight into a broad chest, face burying into a long fall of white, silky hair. He smelled a man scent, heady and rich, and a cologne scent, faint and wonderful. It made his heart race, his face flush, and some inexplicable part of him deep down, respond in a way he had never felt before.  
  
Confused, Duo recoiled, stumbling a little against the door frame. He blinked stupidly at Zechs. The man looked almost sad, regretful. Uh-oh, Duo thought, more bad news, but it was at least news he had known was coming.  
  
"Let me guess," Duo bit out. "I didn't make the grade."  
  
"No," Zechs replied.  
  
"Guess I'll be leaving then," Duo snapped and hunched in on himself, feeling suddenly cold; depression flexing claws, readying them to pull Duo down into its depths. Suddenly, that emotional pain turned into a purely physical one. Duo gasped in surprise as his lungs suddenly felt full of liquid fire. He choked and then bent over, heaving and coughing. Something came out and splattered on the ground between himself and Zechs. It was blood.  
  
Zechs stared down in shock and then he looked up at Duo. Blue eyes battled amethyst ones, wills clashing, males instinctively trying to position themselves as dominate. It seemed to last for ever, but only seconds passed before Duo sighed and slumped. Zechs caught him under the arms. Zechs had won the battle and now he gave his first order. "You're not going anywhere."


	6. Dark Divides

Pleasant numbness. Duo was happy to let himself drift in it, only slightly aware of people moving around him, bright lights, cold instruments, pricking needles, and a warm voice that constantly told him to lie still and allow whatever was going to happen to happen. Something deep down inside of Duo, where the drugs couldn't reach, bristled and whispered warnings, but that's all they were, whispers. Duo was too far gone in a drug haze to do much more than listen.  
  
‘I can't open my eyes', was Duo's first coherent thought in what seemed like forever. He struggled mentally, feeling the bite of panic, memory returning in jumps and starts.  
  
Blood on the floor. That image sent Duo's heart racing. Adrenalin gave him strength and allowed his eyes to open at last. He blinked. Blinked again. His amethyst eyes were dry, stinging with it. They didn't want to clear for a moment, but, when they eventually did, Duo found himself staring up at an ornate ceiling, white plaster with a sunburst design of flowers painted at the center. Duo recognized it.  
  
"I guess I can assume that Zechs is my host again?" Duo hoarsely said to the ceiling.  
  
A voice replied, "Yes, sir."  
  
Duo turned his head. His neck was stiff. It was actually painful. He grinned at the servant sitting in a chair by the bed, a paperback novel lax in his hands. "Pretty soon, you'll have to put up a sign on the door that says, Duo's room."  
  
The man looked disapproving. Duo could see thoughts running behind his eyes, none of them flattering. "Yes, sir," he replied noncommittally and then stood, unfolding a tall, anemic looking form, in a starched uniform, as if rigamortis had set in. "I'll inform Prince Peacecraft that his guest has awakened. Is there anything you require, sir, before I go?"  
  
Duo blinked, trying to think, trying to understand the expression the man was giving him. "Uh, I'll probably have to pee," he said and was surprised how weak his voice was. "Other than that-"  
  
The servant paled even more and pointed to a door not far away. "The facilities are there sir, or, if you find the distance too daunting, there is a urinal by the foot of the bed." His next question was said as if it were forced from him only by a strong determination to do his duty. "If you need assistance..."  
  
Duo almost said that he did, just for the hell of it and to make the man squirm, but embarrassment at what that request would entail stopped him. "I can manage," Duo replied. "I'm a big boy." The man turned to go with definite relief, but Duo wouldn't let him go that easily. "Hey! Before you go, I need to know what happened! How did I get here?"  
  
The servant sniffed and didn't pause as he walked towards the door saying, "Prince Peacecraft will be with you shortly, sir. I have been ordered to inform him as soon as you awakened so that he may come and answer your questions himself."  
  
"Oh, okay," Duo replied, waited for the door to close, and then, with a soldier's thoroughness, he dropped his mask of congeniality and began looking himself over to assess his condition, his ability to defend himself or escape if necessary.  
  
Duo's hands were shaking and he felt cold; low blood circulation. It told him that he had been unconscious for a long time. A heavy duty I.V. needle in both arms alerted him that he hadn't been force fed only liquid nourishment. Someone had been drugging him. That squared with his groggy mental functions. Pushing down the blankets, Duo discovered that he was nude underneath and that someone had been operating with a laser on his ribs. He felt the familiar, uncomfortable presence of a binding agent holding them together.  
  
Blood on the floor. Duo felt at his ribs as the memory flashed and burned in his brain. Duo hissed and withdrew his hand. His ribs flashed pain. Punctured lung? He recalled Yate's clipboard plowing into his ribs edgewise. Shinigami seethed and thought about modes of revenge, especially when he saw the catheter.  
  
"Duo Maxwell," the throaty voice of Zechs said from the doorway, alerting a fellow soldier of his presence, well aware that the end of the war hadn't dulled either of their reflexes.  
  
Duo dropped the blanket, face going hot as he glared at the tall, white haired man. For some reason he didn't bother with his mask. Something told him that, not only was Zech's not fooled by it, but that the man knew to a hair's breath what his abilities were. The ‘Lightning Count', as Zech's had been known in the war, wasn't going to be taken by surprise.  
  
"What's going on?" Duo demanded simply.  
  
Zechs entered, long legs pacing toward's Duo like a panther getting ready to spring. Graceful, Duo thought, swallowing and getting nervous, powerful, and commanding. Duo didn't like the feeling of helplessness that rolled over him as he waited for Zech's to explain and make his intentions known.  
  
Zechs spoke as if he were giving a casualty report, precise information given in a dry, calm voice. "Punctured lung. Severe blood loss. Borderline malnutrition. Anemia. Acute stress. One operation on right lung and bio cement applied to fifth rib on right. Down time so far, eleven days," Duo started in shock at that bit of information, but Zech's continued without giving him time to wrap his mind around that. "Drugs given to induce complete unconsciousness for the express purpose of allowing a critical wound to heal properly. Projected down time; three weeks. Present function; 20%."  
  
Duo shivered, despite himself. He was that bad? He remembered the blood filling up his lungs, but it had been too sudden, to shocking. He hadn't had time to consider that he might have been dying. Duo tried to speak. He made a hoarse noise. Zechs poured water from a pitcher into a glass from a nearby table. He handed the glass to Duo. Duo drank automatically, disturbed when the glass of water felt heavy and uncertain in his hand. It trembled as his hand continued to tremble, water threatening to slosh out. Seeing Duo's difficulty, Zechs retrieved the glass and put it back down on the side table without comment.  
  
"Why am I here and not in a hospital?" Duo wondered, voice under his control once again.  
  
"You were in a hospital," Zechs replied in that same dry, informative tone. He didn't meet Duo's eyes. Instead, he studied the pitcher and glass as if he were fascinated by the condensation of the cold liquid making slow trails down their sides. "After you were stabilized, I had you brought here so that you could be under the expert care of my physicians. They are some of the best."  
  
"Why?" Duo asked, short and sharp.  
  
Zechs did look up then, ice, blue eyes keen. "It was my duty. You were under my employ and you were injured by a man of mine abusing his authority. I take my duty and my responsibilities very seriously, Duo Maxwell."  
  
It didn't explain anything, but Duo knew that he wasn't going to get a better answer. "Okay, thanks for helping me out like this, I guess," he said. "Can I get my clothes now and get these tubes out of me?"  
  
Zechs shook his head and his white hair shimmered and swayed. "No, I'm afraid not. I argued for, and won, the concession from your physicians to allow the drugs to be discontinued, but they still insist that you remain in bed until your ribs and punctured lung are well on their way to recovery."  
  
"Meaning," Duo growled angrily, "That they don't trust me to take care of myself?"  
  
Zechs nodded. "You have already been hospitalized on many occasions for that very reason. The diagnosis of ‘manic depressive- suicidal' has been entered into your personal medical records on your last three admissions."  
  
Duo felt the bite of shame and embarrassment. It caused him to retort viciously, "Me, manic depressive- suicidal? You're the one who had the gun to his head, Zechs. Why aren't they drugging you?"  
  
Zechs stared, blue eyes giving Duo a slow blink. The silence stretched until Duo wanted to squirm. He suddenly felt like a rude boy in front of an elder. He didn't like that feeling at all. Zechs finally spoke and his tone was slow and measured. "I deserve that. "  
  
It was a moment of vulnerability, Duo realized, an opportunity to go for Zech's throat and get some payback. It confused him that Zechs was allowing it. When Duo frowned and let the moment pass, he saw an infinitesimal expression of relief on Zech's face, a relaxing around his blue eyes.  
  
"We all have our bad days," Duo finally said lamely and moved his arms so that the tubes tightened. He grimaced. "I'm having more than most, though." He fingered a needle in his arm. "You do realize that you can't keep me here?"  
  
"Law 340-c subsection alpha, paragraph 67, states clearly that those suspected of mental instability can be forcefully restrained by medication and given treatment," Zechs cited officially.  
  
Duo cocked his head to one side, narrowing his purple eyes. "In a hospital, I'm sure, not Prince Peacecraft's home. If you don't mind me saying, Zechs, all logical explanation aside, it does seem a bit eccentric."  
  
Zechs found a smile. It surprised him. He was tense and unsure. Duo was turning out to be remarkably unpredictable. That unpredictability was making it hard to make a coherent plan.  
  
Did he still even have a plan? Zechs wondered. Things had definitely changed since Duo had found him in that hotel room, ready to deliver summery execution. All thoughts of conquering and possessing Duo had disappeared that day. His intentions now were unclear. His emotions hard to fathom. Zechs still wanted Duo to stay, and he still needed to be distracted from the darkness with in him, but the two had separated in his mind.  
  
Seeing Duo's blood on the floor, and knowing how close he had come to never seeing that maddening ex-pilot again, had shocked and frightened Zechs in ways he wasn't ready to analyze yet. He had never sought a relationship with anyone. To suddenly feel the need for one was hard to accept or comprehend. That Duo Maxwell, someone so different and opposed in nature to himself, seemed to be the one generating that need in him, was even more disturbing.  
  
"If you were free and able," Zechs asked at last. "What would you do?"  
  
"Leave," Duo replied promptly and with challenge in his voice.  
  
"Why?" Zechs countered. "You'll want for nothing why you stay and recuperate. You'll have only the best doctors, the best treatment. Since it was a man in my employ who caused your injuries, nothing will be charged to you. Leaving now would be completely illogical."  
  
It was so tempting to just accept and bask in a rich man's hospitality, Duo thought as he continued to examine the needle in his arm. Having someone else take care of the bills and the details of every day life had always been a necessity for Duo. All of his attempts to take on those responsibilities himself had been dismal failures.  
  
Everyone else had made the transition to adult life, none of them seeming to anguish over lost childhood, lost teen years, or lack of family. Only Duo couldn't make the leap, the transition. His mind was as stunted in growth as his body, a body that didn't look much different than it had when he had been fifteen and a Gundam pilot. Too many missed meals and too much stress, one doctor had diagnosed, and Duo wondered if the same could be said for his mind. He couldn't grow up, mentally or physically, no matter how much he tried, and here he was feeling tempted to play the child again and let Zechs, who's motives were a mystery to him, take care of him.  
  
Duo remained firm as he said. "That's nice of you, man, but I think I should be getting back to my life, ya know?"  
  
It was Zech's turn to go for the throat. How much did he know? Duo wondered as he watched the thoughts play over the Prince's face. Did he know that Duo didn't have a life to go back to? In the end, Zechs also chose not to go in for the kill. He looked disapproving instead. "The argument is moot. You are too weak to go anywhere, Duo Maxwell. If you wish to be taken to a hospital, I will arrange it, but, I assure you, either there or here, you are bedridden."  
  
Duo could feel it. He tensed muscles in his legs and felt them tremble. He knew that they wouldn't support him if he tried to stand. Duo hated Zechs at that moment, hated the man's quiet dominance and control of the situation. Even though it wasn't Zech's fault that he, Duo, was injured, Duo still found it easy to blame him. The man was taking full advantage of the situation and it was still a mystery why.  
  
"Let me think about," Duo said finally, meeting Zech's eyes and trying to convey to the man that he was dangerous on his feet or flat on his back and that any plans Zechs had for him were going to be thwarted. "I need to wait until the drugs wear off before I can make any major decisions."  
  
"That's only wise," Zech's replied.  
  
Without warning, contrary to all common sense and training, Zechs suddenly leaned over Duo. Duo froze as pale hair brushed against him and Zech's warm body and warmer, masculine scent hit his senses. It was only a moment, but a moment of complete, overwhelming confusion on Duo's part.  
  
Zechs was straightening again, before Duo could react, and placing a touch pad near Duo's hand. He backed away as Duo fought to wipe a wide eyed, astonished look, and an accompanying blush, off of his face. He replaced it with a hard scowl.  
  
"You shouldn't do that," Duo managed to say in a voice that was strangled sounding, distorted by the odd feelings rushing through him. "I don't need a weapon to hurt you."  
  
Zechs nodded, saying quietly. "I know." He motioned to the touch pad, explaining in a stronger voice, "That allows you to call for assistance at any time. The red button is for your physician. The green button is for your nurse. The yellow button is for a servant. The black button is for my pager. I have given orders to my staff to indulge your every whim."  
  
Duo found composure at last, shoving confusing emotions and feelings into a mental box, a box he wasn't sure he wanted to ever open up again. "Every whim?" Duo wondered. "Including leaving?"  
  
Zechs went very still and then he replied, "Yes. If you have a destination in mind, they will help you go there." He paused for emphasis and then added, "But if you intend to commit suicide, and that would be nothing less, I'll fetch a gun and I'll be the one to politely stand aside this time while you pull the trigger."  
  
Duo felt cold suddenly at the thought of a metal gun barrel pressed against his forehead. "You're good," Duo said at last and meant it.  
  
Zechs simply nodded, but he couldn't hide a smile of satisfaction. He had seen Duo's blush and his restrained reaction to his proximity. It confirmed that there was a chance, a chance that he could convince, instead of force, Duo Maxwell to.... Zechs dropped his smile. He bowed to Duo without thought and left him there, probably confused by the abrupt exit. On his way back to his own quarters, Zechs put his own feelings and emotions inside of his own mental box, like Duo, not yet ready to confess to himself what exactly he wanted from the ex Gundam pilot.  
  
+  
  
Heero knocked for the third time. Still no one answered the door. He checked the address on the paper in his hand. Correct. He checked the schedule of Oz personnel. Pilots on down were released from duty promptly at six p.m. unless they were on active night duty. Duo's name had not appeared on the night duty roster.  
  
It took Heero only a moment to trip the door lock. He let the door swing open, cobalt eyes sweeping Duo's one room apartment while his hand rested on the gun in its holster under his black jacket.  
  
Heero's mind absorbed every detail of the place in seconds. The impression left by Duo's body on the bed. The start of some reconstituted meal left on a counter and reeking from decay. Training manuals and schedules scattered over a simple table. Blood splattered across the doorstep. All of these details combined and formed a definite pattern in Heero's mind. Violence had occurred. Duo was gone. Zechs, an old enemy, was Heero's automatic choice of perpetrator. Revenge was an age old motive.  
  
Heero felt something powerful coil and grow within him. He tried to control it. It didn't wish to be controlled. It wanted blood. It wanted to kill the person who had dared to spill Duo's blood. His Duo, Heero thought possessively, the young man he so desperately needed to drive away the silence and the loneliness that had all but engulfed him during Duo's absence. Heero needed answers and he needed them fast. If Duo was alive, Heero needed to find out where he was, if he was dead, Heero needed to know whom to kill.  
  
Heero holstered his gun and stepped to the door of Duo's neighbor. He knocked twice, hard. The door yanked open and Heero found himself eye to eye with a big man chewing on an unlit cigar. Behind him, Heero noted open boxes and packing material.  
  
"What the Hell do you want?" Yates snarled.  
  
"Duo Maxwell," Heero replied.  
  
The man turned red with anger. "You a friend of his?"  
  
Heero frowned. He supposed they were ‘friends', but he couldn't fit their relationship into so simple a description any longer. It was becoming more and more complex. "No," he found himself saying without elaborating.  
  
Yates grunted. "Little fag got me fired! If you have a beef with him too- "  
  
"Where is he?" Heero cut him off sharply.  
  
Yates looked Heero up and down, noting Heero's tense almost manic expression and his obvious displeasure. "They took him away to the hospital," Yates replied and then with some satisfaction. "They fined me and gave me a mark on my record, but it was worth it to break that little shit's ribs. I punctured a lung. Almost killed him, they told me." He smirked. "Good thing they couldn't prove that I did it on purpose."  
  
The powerful emotions within Heero uncoiled. "Your confession is enough," he said. "I don't require proof." and then his fists lashed out and Yates fell.  
  
+  
  
"Trowa," Duo said in exasperation. "Ya have to say SOMETHING! I can't read eye blinks!"  
  
Trowa stared at Duo from the vid screen, green eyes pensive under his long bang and face closed and hard to read. "Quatre isn't here," he said at last.  
  
Duo pried out a needle from his arm below the small tray holding the vid screen, not wanting Trowa to see the sudden flow of blood and Duo's frantic attempt to get it to stop. Damn! He had always been a bleeder! Duo thought as he used some of the tape that had been holding the needle in place to close the wound shut tight. The bleeding slowed and then stopped. Duo breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"I know Quatre isn't there," Duo replied tightly, trying not to hiss at the pain as he began working out the other needle in the opposite arm. "You told me that when I first called you! What I want to know is, do you think it's cool if I drop by? I know Quatre has some physician's on staff-"  
  
"You're injured in some way?" Trowa suddenly became more animated, though it hadn't reached the level of sympathy yet.  
  
"Yeah," Duo replied as he stopped the bleeding again. "Punctured lung, 20% function, estimated recuperation, if I do everything right, three weeks."  
  
Trowa narrowed eyes past Duo, taking in the expensive wallpaper and the ornate headboard of the bed. "Where are you now, not a hospital?"  
  
"No, not a hospital, but definitely in enemy territory," Duo replied. "I need to escape and I need to know I can get help pronto when I do."  
  
"Are you compromised in any way?" Trowa asked, slipping back into soldier mode easily.  
  
Duo felt a strange roil of emotions when he thought of the scent of Zechs' masculine body and the touch of that long, white hair. He banished it by reminding himself of Zechs' easy control of him and the forced drugging of his body. "Definitely," Duo replied. "I am definitely compromised, Trowa. Milliardo Peacecraft has decided, for reasons unknown, to keep me at his personal residence. I am in the process of escape."  
  
"Chances of success?" Trowa asked skeptically. "You don't look well."  
  
"Chances of success; excellent," Duo replied, lying to himself as well as Trowa. "You know me," he said with a tight smile, "Mr. Determination."  
  
Trowa was very quiet.  
  
Duo prodded sharply with his next words, "Come on, Trowa! I know you sleep with Quatre! I'm sure you're able to order his people around with impunity. Order me a limo and a doctor when I get there! Come on, man. Don't let me down!" His voice went hoarse with weariness and desperation.  
  
"You never approved of our relationship, Maxwell, and you used Quatre and hurt him the last time he helped you," Trowa replied.  
  
Duo gritted his teeth. Now wasn't the time to start shouting and getting angry. He had to keep up the Maxwell charm. It had always gotten him what he wanted before. It couldn't fail him now when he most needed it. "Yeah, sorry about all of that. I guess two guys doing it makes me, uh, nervous. I shouldn't have cracked all those jokes when we were all working together. Forgive and forget though, right, Trowa? I've grown in the last few years. You two could do it in front of me right now, and it wouldn't bother me a bit. Just let me come there and you can test me, okay?"  
  
Trowa was lost in some memory and it was sour and bitter. "You made things very hard for us," he recalled. "I couldn't understand why since you and Heero were together as well. What has happened to Heero?" he wondered. "Why not call him?"  
  
"I'm not gay!" Duo bristled. "Heero and me were never a couple! We had a big fight." Duo shivered, still feeling Heero's grip on him. Duo blinked and shuddered, trying to concentrate on winning Trowa's help, not a bad episode with Heero. "Look, man, I need help. Are you going to send the car or not?"  
  
Trowa considered, his green eyes steady and assessing. Duo was relaxing, feeling victory at hand, when Trowa said curtly. "You may forget such slights, but I do not. I can see medical equipment and fine furnishings. Someone is taking care of you Maxwell. I will not feel guilt by refusing. Quatre does not need to be saddened by you any longer. I will not allow you to take advantage of him again. Good day."  
  
The screen went blank. Duo stared at it, stunned. He was being abandoned. None of his tricks or his charm had worked. Humiliated and angry, Duo took hold of the catheter line and bit his bottom lip as he pulled that out as well. Shoving needles and tubing aside viciously, he felt a sense of relief along with his other emotions. The feeling of being trapped by those needles and tubes had been acute.  
  
"What now, Shinigami?" Duo muttered. He looked around the room, trying to make a coherent plan. All of them entailed having clothes, though, and there was a distinct lack of them at the moment. Well, he thought, that could be rectified as well. Duo pushed the call button on the touch pad by his hand, the button that would summon a servant. The man wasn't his size, but his clothes would do in a pinch. Putting on his best, congenial grin, Duo waited.  
  
+  
  
Heero stared down at the mess that was Yates. The man was sprawled, face down, in his own blood and unconscious. He hadn't been much of a challenge. Heero stepped over him and collected the box of Duo's things that he had left by Duo's doorstep; his excuse for seeing the man. It would still be useful in that respect, he thought as he made his way towards a main complex of offices. He needed to find out whether Duo was still alive and, if so, where he was being held. Not being a relative, such information, he assumed, would be off limits to him. The excuse of having things to return to Duo would garner sympathy, he hoped, and convince someone to break the rules. At the very least, it would win him entrance to the building and a chance to hack the information himself.  
  
It was easier than Heero imagined, gaining access to the offices. Key cards were essential for entrance, but a man saw that Heero's arms were full, assumed that he had a key card and was unable to use it, and swiped his own to let Heero in. Heero thanked him pleasantly enough, mindful of his cover, but inwardly the soldier Heero seethed at such a breech of security protocol.  
  
Heero didn't meet with any resistance walking down the hallways either. He was amazed. I.D. tags were required at every level, yet no one checked for them. Heero kept the box squarely in front of his chest to hide the fact that he didn't have one, but he was amazed that no one recognized him as a stranger, asked about what he was carrying, or wondered where he was taking it too. Heero felt a shiver of memory. Dr. J would have imprisoned him in a tin box, in the zero g of space, and in the direct light of the sun for such a breech.  
  
Heero didn't go to the main office to get his information. Instead, he made his way down an empty corridor until he found a door open and an office empty of its owner. It was ridiculously easy after that to sit and break into the employee files and look up Duo Maxwell.  
  
Fake birth date. Fake birthplace. Fake history. Under a large list of skills it listed Gundam pilot at the very end as if it weren't important at all, an afterthought. Beside the picture of a grinning Duo in a Peacecraft uniform, it listed a hospital and a series of health stats. Broken rib. Punctured lung. Severe blood loss. Heero was surprised at the last entry. Released. It didn't make sense. If Duo was critical... Heero thought of Duo's brashness, his inability to gauge his own limits, and his aversion to hospitals. In light of those facts, it was possible that he had insisted on his own release. That they had released him when standard procedure would have dictated forced treatment, was a testament, perhaps, to Duo's ability to charm most people.  
  
Where was he now? Why hadn't he called? Heero knew that he was always the safe house for Duo, the place he always returned to because it was familiar and because Heero understood him. Heero analyzed his last vid phone conversation with Duo. He had made all the appropriate responses. Duo had been friendly and agreeable. Though Heero still didn't understand Duo's violent reaction to his, Heero's, initiation of sex, it had been clear to him that Duo had accepted Heero's offer of returning to their former arrangement. There wasn't any logical explanation why Duo would not have called him for assistance.  
  
As Heero hacked into different sections, trying to find a clue as to where Duo had gone, he fought with a memory, an acute one. It was almost as if he could feel again, Duo's warm body beneath him, submitting and ready, rounded ass soft in Heero's hands. He remembered Duo's long hair, slightly damp, hanging all around him, making him seem like a beautiful woman, a desirable woman, more desirable than any woman Heero had ever been with. The sudden stiffening between Heero's legs was distracting and unwanted. He grabbed a stapler from the corner of the desk, poised it over his hand, and punched it several times. The sharp, agonizing pain of the staples going into his skin, brought him back to focus and reduced the swelling in his pants. He needed Duo, he thought as he moved from section to section in the computer, as a companion to stave off the loneliness, as a partner to share the bills and the upkeep of the apartment, and, he finally acknowledged, as a partner for mutual sexual release. It was logical that they remain together. It was the most efficient way that they could function. Duo had to be made to see that.  
  
Heero stopped and narrowed his search in a supply category. I.V. supplies, catheters, antibiotics, bandages, medical monitors, anesthesia, and a whole host of other items a doctor would need to treat a patient in critical condition. All of it had been sent to the Peacecraft residence.  
  
Heero stood up, jaw going tight. His old enemy again and his suspicion confirmed. Milliardo Peacecraft had his Duo. Heero snatched up Duo's box of things and he made a hurried exit, a plan already forming in his head for reclaiming Duo and violently executing Zechs. The only good enemy was a dead enemy, Heero remembered the age old adage. He would make certain that he adhered to that philosophy this time.  
  
+  
  
Yates made his way to the office of his superior, nursing the bandaged and bleeding bruises Heero had inflicted on him. He had posted a warning to security after regaining consciousness. They had been over curt and not helpful, promising a search he hadn't seen any signs of. They all knew his status with Prince Peacecraft and he had made enemies in the lower ranks. He could almost hear them snickering at his predicament, glad that he was finally ‘getting his'.  
  
Yates fought off a wave of dizziness. He couldn't avoid this one duty and he wanted it over with, even if he passed out moments afterwards. He had to report to his superior for dismissal orders and his severance credits. A last duty before he was turned into a nobody.  
  
When he reached the office of his superior, no one answered the door. It was slightly ajar. Curious, Yates opened the door all the way and found the office empty. He ground teeth into his cigar. He didn't want to have to wait, humiliation and seething anger eating his insides.  
  
Wanting some indication of when his superior would return, Yates scanned the man's desk, cigar twitching back and forth in his mouth. The desk was neat and tidy with nothing to indicate where the owner had gone to. The glowing screen of the computer caught Yates's attention then. He narrowed eyes at it and saw the unusual supply list and the small, reduced screen showing Duo Maxwell's profile and status. Yates wasn't stupid. He put two and two together and realized what the equation was.  
  
"Finally," a voice said behind him. Yates turned and saw his irritated superior. The man glanced at his watch. "I've been waiting for you. It's past quitting time."  
  
"Sorry, sir," he bit out.  
  
The man gave Yates's damaged face a wide eyed look, before stalking past him and sitting at his desk. He had decided not to ask about it. He only glanced at his computer screen briefly before blanking it, not even curious about the content, probably thinking that some associate had needed to use it while he was out. Sloppy, Yates thought. His own superior didn't notice a security breech when it was staring him in the face.   
  
"Let's get this painful business over, Yates," his superior sighed, "so we can both get out of here."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Yates kept his expression flat as the man read the charges and the verdict. As they pushed papers back and forth and Yates signed them, Yates felt hate and the need for revenge grow. He was ruined. His career was over. No one was going to hire a man cashiered by Milliardo Peacecraft. Duo Maxwell had to pay for that. As Yates' superior finished off the last of the humiliating details, Yates began to make plans, plans that included a very painful and very messy form of revenge. When he finally left the office with papers and check in hand, Yates grinned around his cigar in anticipation.


	7. Picking Locks

Duo watched as people ran in and out of his room frantically and then began a search, servants getting their orders and streaming out of the front door of the mansion to look for him.  
  
"Well," Duo whispered to himself from an alcove behind a potted plant. "At least they don't UNDERESTIMATE me." He was sitting on the floor, unable to stand, wondering if he had overestimated his own abilities.  
  
Duo grimaced in embarrassment as he hugged his ribs and decided to just try and breathe around the pain and the dizziness. After luring a servant close to him and rendering the man unconscious, Duo had appropriated his clothes, glad that it had turned out to be the anemic, sour servant and not one of the others. He would have felt guilty if it had been. Duo didn't like the thought of hurting civilians for any reason. With the anemic servant, his dislike for Duo apparent, it didn't seem quite so bad.  
  
The long, painful attempt at just getting out of the bed had almost made Duo give up before he had started, but, now that he had committed violence in Zechs' household, he knew that the next step would be involuntary detention and another stretch of mind numbing medication to control him.   
  
A veteran of Oz prisons and modes of interrogation, Duo had a distinct phobia of hospitals and any form of medical or medicinal restraints. Even the likely hood of passing out under a hedge outside until Spring, didn't cause Duo to stop and see reason. His first visit to Zechs' home had been voluntary and that had made all the difference. To wake up and to find that he had been literally kidnapped and restrained by drugs, was unendurable to Duo.  
  
Zechs. As if he had been called up by Duo's thoughts, the man appeared and walked into Duo's room with a frantic doctor in tow, face very grim. They had carried the unconscious servant out first thing so all that was left to see was the blood and the I.V. needles staining the white sheets of the bed. Duo could hear Zechs and the doctor speaking. He strained to hear for a moment and then gave it up. Escape was more important than relishing Zechs' reaction to his purely incredible feat.  
  
Duo began to try and inch out from behind the plant. The world hazed and he blanked. He blinked furiously, finding himself with his back against the wall and his body shaking. "Come on, Duo," he growled at himself. "You've been in worse situations. Remember when you took a hit and had that piece of cockpit shielding go through front and back? Still got out alive. Still kicked Oz ass. You can do it this time too. Get up and be a good soldier."  
  
"Revised function estimation:25%," Zechs' voice said casually.  
  
Duo started badly, panting in shock. He blinked stupidly up at Zechs. The man was watching him, head to one side, fall of white hair like silk over one shoulder. He was wearing an ornate, red and blue, coat with gold trim and buttons. He looked as if he had just come from some important function or a military parade ground. His handsome face was both amused and amazed.  
  
"Just thought I'd come out and admire the plants," Duo returned hoarsely.  
  
"I did tell you that, if you wished to leave, and you had a destination, that I would order the servants to assist you," Zechs said in a tone of voice that let it be known that he didn't like his words doubted.  
  
"Well, the destination part....." Duo swallowed hard as a wave of pain hit him. He managed to keep it off of his face, but he couldn't stop the trembling. Zech noticed it. His blue eyes narrowed. "I wasn't sure where I wanted to go," Duo continued flippantly. "I thought about coffee and dessert up town, but I also had an urge to do some window shopping around West street. I thought I'd walk around until I made up my mind." He brushed a palm frond out of his face. "Of course, once I saw the plants, everything else just went out the window."  
  
Zechs nodded as if he were making perfect sense, one madman understanding another. Maybe it was truer than either of them realized, though it was a deeper understanding, Duo's ridiculous words having nothing to do with it. "I admire them a great deal myself," Zechs replied.  
  
"Yeah," Duo grimaced as his ribs gave him another shock of pain. He suddenly didn't have the strength to keep up his mask of indifference any longer. Why keep pretending that he wasn't about to be thrown back into his room, a captive once again? "So much nicer being around them," he grated, meaning the plants, "than in a room with tubes stuck up my dick, and in my arms up to my neck, against my will."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence. Zechs thought quickly. He could see Duo's distress and it had little to do with his body's failings. He tried to put himself in Duo's position, weak and at the mercy of a one time enemy. It gave him a bad taste in his mouth. He had to rectify the situation at once or Duo would end up killing himself.   
  
"I think I have a solution," Zechs replied carefully, not sure how Duo was going to respond, or if he even had the capacity at that point to think clearly and reasonably. "Since we are both enamored of plants, perhaps you wouldn't mind taking a trip with me to my Winter estate? It's warm there and I have a rather quaint villa at the center of a magnificent garden. I could arrange for you to have one of the bungalows close by where your physicians could attend to you and you could be fairly autonomous. You have disability leave pay coming to you. I could have it transferred to an account there. Once you begin working for me again-"  
  
Duo wanted to laugh, but didn't. He knew it would hurt too much. "I'm still working for you? I did just harm one of your servants and, as I recall, my simulator test was less than stellar for a peace time shuttle pilot. I can't see you being so indulgent that you would ignore both of those things and keep me employed."  
  
Again Zechs felt offended. His honor and his duty to his men was being blatantly questioned. He explained curtly. "My servant wasn't harmed. A nerve pinch, while inducing a severe headache, does not constitute an attack."  
  
"I'm sure your servant would disagree," Duo replied sourly.  
  
"He will be compensated."  
  
"Nice, being able to pay people off like that," Duo mocked.  
  
"I could leave his legal charges and impending lawsuit up to you," Zechs replied stiffly. "If you consider my help interference."  
  
Duo huddled in on himself. He could feel himself fading fast. He had to resolve the situation before he passed out all together. He couldn't leave Zechs to make decision for him once again. Duo induced an adrenalin rush by taking several quick, deep breaths. His system flooded with oxygen. A little more alert, he replied. "I don't consider myself liable when I'm trying to escape from forced imprisonment."  
  
"You are free to leave," Zechs replied quietly, "Or come with me now to my estate. I will respect your decision. As for failing the simulator test, I hardly call it that. You were given an impossible mission and you saved crew and passengers in the only manner available to you. Unfortunately-"  
  
"Yeah, unfortunate, the story of my life," Duo muttered.  
  
"You're decision making skills are not at the level I expect out of my pilots," Zechs continued, unperturbed. "You had options and chose not to use them. In light of that, I will have to ground you. I do, however, have openings in my civilian units for policing and infiltration of unlawful activities. I think your military skills would make you well suited to a high position there."  
  
"The Preventers, you mean," Duo replied sourly. "I thought Sally Po was running the show there."  
  
"Under my authority, yes," Zechs informed him.  
  
"Hate to tell you," Duo snorted, "but she didn't think much of my military skills. She had me in the grease pits, or at least she did until she told me I had to cut my hair. She said it was dangerous with so much working machinery around."  
  
"Prudent," Zechs replied with a nod, but then he gave Duo an intense look. "I suppose you played the fun loving fool with her when you tried to gain a position in the policing divisions." Duo made a face and Zechs nodded again. "It seems Sally Po doesn't know your skill level. She seems to have made a false assumption based on your personality."  
  
Duo scowled, seeing white at the corners of his eyes. Hurry, he told himself, get to the point! But he couldn't. He felt it necessary to defend Sally. "It wasn't just that. I have a real problem with, well, authority and following rules and schedules," Duo admitted. It was hard saying that, but Sally didn't deserve a bad reputation.   
  
"A field agent position would have suited you well," Zechs pointed out. "It requires innovative, by the seat of the pants, thinking. In a group, you would naturally be disruptive and undisciplined."  
  
"Naturally," Duo echoed sourly.  
  
"But in a solitary situation," Zechs continued seriously, "I think you would do well."  
  
"Okay, ‘cept that I want to avoid killing anyone ever again."  
  
"Investigative, rather than enforcement?" Zechs suggested.  
  
"Yeah, maybe," Duo slid down further towards the floor, wiping at his eyes. "I can't think right now."  
  
"Understandable, but my offer-"  
  
"Fine," Duo replied quickly, feeling unconsciousness slipping over him. "Like you said though, my own place, my own life, and my own job. I don't trust you and I don't know what you want from me. You could be a complete weirdo. I don't wanna find that out. I come and go as I please, when I please, got that? Soon as I'm better, I make my own arrangements."  
  
Zechs lifted a white eyebrow. "Perhaps you should admire potted plants more often. It makes you more reasonable."  
  
Duo snorted. "If you're going to blame me for trying to get out of here-"  
  
"No," Zechs replied quickly. "I think I would have done the same. I fail to see why you don't understand that this is a matter of honor and duty to me, and nothing else, but, if I thought as you do, I would attempt to leave."  
  
Duo snorted again and then became serious. "Honor and duty. Okay, on your honor and duty, no more tubes, needles, or drugs. I hate them."  
  
"As you wish, " Zechs agreed. "Now, may I take you back to your room and your doctor?"  
  
"No," Duo retorted, winced, and then shook his head vehemently. "I don't want to go back to that room. It bothers me now... reminds me of an Oz interrogation room." He caught himself too late and swore at himself for revealing a weakness like that. He saw Zechs narrow his eyes and then look as if he completely understood. He nodded grimly.  
  
"We will go immediately to my estate then," Zechs said and then, without permission, he bent and hooked his arms under Duo. Lifting Duo up like a child, he began a slow walk towards the stairway.   
  
Duo wanted to fight, punch that overconfident face of Zechs and stop the feeling of helplessness that washed over him. He felt completely humiliated, but he was drifting now, cheek against Zechs' broad chest and body held close by Zechs' strong arms. He did feel like a child, smaller and as light as a feather compared to Zechs' more solid build. The man smelled of some spicy cologne, wood smoke and cinnamon, and an undertone of fresh pressed uniform. It spoke to Duo, that scent, and it strangely comforted him.  
  
Exhausted, Duo let himself fall into unconsciousness, a feeling as abrupt as a wire snapping. He had reached his limit. He couldn't fight and he couldn't speak any longer. Zechs was in control again and Duo couldn't do anything but trust in the honor that Zechs felt so strongly about and hope that the man's intentions were good.  
  
+  
  
"Gone where?" Heero asked, eyes narrowing so dangerously that the servant at the door blanched.  
  
"Well, sir, I am at liberty to tell you that Prince Peacecraft will be at residence at his Winter villa, but his itinerary is not to be made public knowledge. I'm sure you understand?"  
  
"Yes, thank you," Heero said the words as an automatic reflex as he turned from the door, the servant forgotten already. His blood pumped and his mind began to fall into an old pattern, the Perfect Soldier he had been during the war; the trained, emotionless killer. The simple search for Duo, the expected easy arguments designed to get him to return with him to his apartment, the easy manipulation of a person without direction or credits, was suddenly changed into a mission; a mission who's adjective was clear, the reclaiming of Duo and the elimination of an old enemy.  
  
Heero put down the box of Duo's things. It was an unneeded encumbrance, the manga, the odd sketches, the book filled with Duo's ridiculous ramblings and day to day life, the several machine parts, and a few pieces of clothing. Heero didn't need it as an excuse to see Duo now. No one traveled half way across a world with a box of useless things to return to a man. Heero had a much better excuse, one sure to convince Duo that Heero was the only logical choice of companion. Heero intended to become Duo's savior. In his experience with others, and especially Duo, gratitude could be made into a powerful weapon of control.  
  
Planning the mission already, mind on floor plans, transport, and weapons, Heero didn't see the door open again, the servant having watched through a window, curious and suspicious about the strange man. When Heero had seemed reluctant to leave, he had withdrawn his cell phone from a pocket and poised it against his ear, ready to call for security. Now that Heero was striding away purposefully, the servant was still unsure whether to make the call. He timidly looked into the box that Heero had left behind.   
  
Odd, colorful books. The servant poked about timidly with his cell phone as if he feared something might bite him. When he saw the journal, he fished it out and flipped through several pages.  
  
"Duo Maxwell," he read and then brightened. "Ah, this is for Master Maxwell, then," he beamed, remembering the laughing young man who had graced their home. It was true that Duo had been very ill and had attacked a servant, but the boy surely hadn't known what he was doing. "I'll have this shipped to him at the Winter estate," the servant said to himself. "Poor lad didn't even have a coat on when they left. He will be needing his clothes."  
  
Yates fingered his gun from the thick cover of bushes near the front door. He kept very still, breathing to a minimum, bruised and battered face suffused red with blood, as he listened to the servant mutter to himself. Winter estate? The little bastard was gone?  
  
After the servant had retreated back in doors with the box, Yates was striding away back to his vehicle, a black truck parked on the road that led to the crew quarters. He knew they were expecting him at the checkpoint that led off of the compound grounds. If he failed to show, they would begin searching for him to forcefully evict him. He didn't have much time.  
  
Yates threw himself into the front seat of the truck, holstering the gun with its silencer as he did so. He wasn't about to be thwarted in his attempt at revenge. Duo Maxwell was still going to pay. Things were definitely going to be more complicated and more risky for him personally. He had planned to kill the ex Gundam pilot quietly, leaving nothing to show who the murderer had been. Now he had to go the distance and commit himself, perhaps, to a wider, more long term strategy, if he couldn't catch up with the young man and Peacecraft before their shuttle took off.  
  
Yates threw his truck into gear, stifled the urge to peel out, and made his way as quickly as he could towards Milliardo Peacecraft's personal runway and shuttle. He still knew people, people who owed him favors, people he could take down with him if he chose, Yates thought as he chewed viciously on his cigar. It was time for them to pay up.

+  
  
Zechs wished that life moved as quickly as his thoughts. The decision to go had been spontaneous. The reality was slower, more detailed, more mired in preparation. Servants had scrambled for clothing and luggage. Ground crews had scrambled to prep his shuttle. So much scrambling, but very little actual speed. Now Zechs had to wait until a crew was assigned and amenities loaded. Zechs was not expected to travel in anything, but first class. His people wouldn't allow it.  
  
Duo, stretched out on a couch in an opulent waiting room, was still unconscious, his doctor just finishing checking his vitals. The doctor had bristled at Zech's order not to administer medication or fluids, but he was a good soldier. He followed orders. Unable to do one thing though, he contented himself with doing another, hovering, checking, and rechecking Duo's vitals. The constant, repetitive motions grated on Zech's nerves.  
  
"He'll be fine for now," Zech said at last, trying not to snap. "We still have a half hour before take off. Why don't you go and relax until then? I'll stay with Duo and watch over him."  
  
"Thank you sir. I would like to check to make certain that all of my medical supplies are on hand," the doctor agreed and then, still resentful, "I do hope you will allow me to administer medical attention if the young man should go critical? He is very close to that, you realize, sir?"  
  
Zechs was quick to reply, "Doctor, I will not allow anyone to die out of sheer stubbornness. I'm certain that Duo didn't mean to have treatment withheld if he was near death."  
  
The doctor nodded grimly, accepting Zechs' assurances. "I hope not, sir. His chart-"  
  
"Borderline suicidal, I know," Zechs replied. "I begin to doubt that diagnosis."  
  
"On what grounds?" The doctor was openly curious, yet skeptical too.  
  
Zechs smiled tightly, replying even though he knew the man wouldn't understand. "A feeling, doctor, and only that, but, remember, I've spent my life in command. I know how to judge men."  
  
"Yes, sir." The doctor turned towards the door. "Call me if there is any change, sir."  
  
"I shall."  
  
The doctor paused half way out of the door. "I was always in awe of the Gundam pilots, sir. They were so young yet so willing to sacrifice themselves to help others."  
  
"You're a colonist, then?" Zechs wondered.  
  
"Yes, sir," the doctor replied with a smile. "But I don't think only the colonists looked on them as heroes."  
  
"I think you are right about that."  
  
The doctor nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Zechs went to the bed and looked down at Duo. The boy was pale. The binding agent on his ribs was catching him painfully , even in his sleep, his breathing shallow and lacking rhythm.  
  
"You should have been awake to hear that," Zechs murmured. "We don't get to hear it too often anymore. Everyone wants to forget about us, about the war, about what gave them the peace they are wallowing in. I suppose I should be grateful. Short memories give me a longer life. At the end of the war, many people called for my blood, including you, I remember."  
  
Zech was drawn to that handsome, pixie like face. His hand went involuntarily to touch it, lightly smoothing fingertips over one cheek. It was so soft for a man's face, lacking even stubble. Zech's hand smoothed the tangle of Duo's chestnut bangs and then followed the long braid, a hopeless knot draped over his chest, until he reached Duo's narrow chest and pink nipples. He should stop, he thought, anyone could walk in, yet he didn't. His fingers gently squeezed one shell pink bud. It went hard. So did Zechs.  
  
This is what he had wanted from Duo from the beginning, Zechs thought as he kneeled down by the bed. Only sex. A distraction. A chance to use Duo up and then toss him aside when he stopped being amusing. In that hotel room, with a gun to his head, things had changed. Zechs had a strong urge to change them back. He didn't want to feel. He had been trying for years to stop feeling. He didn't want to care so much about Duo that he was now taking him to his Winter estate, promising him his own bungalow, making room for him in his life, making room for him on his staff when all common sense, and his life time of military training, screamed that Duo Maxwell was an irresponsible, half mad, lose cannon.  
  
He was feeling too much and it was too painful and unwanted, Zechs thought, and too confusing. He didn't understand why Duo was generating such feelings in him and making him do such unprecedented things. All that Zechs knew was that he wanted it to stop. Curing his lust was the first step and he had a perfect opportunity right then and there.  
  
"That's all it is," Zechs murmured as he slipped the blankets down and slowly untied the front of Duo's medical gown. "Just lust and a fascination for Duo's personality. One can be gotten rid of and the other can be ignored."  
  
There was a mirror on the wall. The couch was flat, without a back, meant to let a person rest in comfort while waiting. Zechs could see himself clearly in the mirror and he watched himself, feeling himself grow harder, as he closed his lips over Duo's nipple and suckled it. Keeping the blanket up around Duo's waist to keep him from getting chilled, Zechs let his hand rove underneath until he found Duo's penis. He closed his hand around it, fondled it, cherished it, and then cupped it and Duo's balls, holding them possessively as he continued to suckle and lap at the sweet nipple. His free hand unzipped his own pants, took out his weeping erection, and began pumping it.  
  
He needed more. Daring, Zechs went into a crouch, bringing his penis level with Duo's mouth. He touched it to those warm lips, teased them with precum, and then began to slide inside Duo's mouth. He paused, staring down at the sight, feeling Duo's tongue reflexively touch and rasp over the head of his cock.  
  
It should have been a fulfillment of sexual need and fantasy, Zechs thought with sudden panic. A quick fuck and Duo would never know. Afterwards, he could order the boy to be taken to the nearest hospital with some credits in his hand, never to be seen again. A flawless plan. A way to shut off the feelings. A way to go back to his old life of not facing the pain of the past or thinking about a future he didn't think he deserved.   
  
Duo's mouth worked a little and his tongue rasped once more, but Zechs was going flaccid. He pulled out of Duo and fell to his knees as he zipped up his pants. His hands, trembling, pulled the blankets up and under Duo's chin, tucking them in with exaggerated care as his mind fell into turmoil. Why couldn't he do it? Zechs wondered. Why couldn't he treat Duo Maxwell like he had treated so many before him? What made him so different? What was there about him that dusted off the decency and honor that Zechs had placed up high on a mental shelf and forgotten about?  
  
Zechs looked up at the mirror, at the reflection of himself, at his long white hair and sad, confused, blue eyes, trying to see the change that had come over him. Instead, he saw Yates in the reflection, teeth clamped hard on his cigar and face red with disgust as he raised his gun and aimed, not at Zechs first, but at Duo.  
  
"Stinking fags!" Yates bellowed. "I'll give you something to put up your asses; a bunch of hot lead!"  
  
Zechs rolled and pulled out his own gun in one smooth motion. As he had hoped, Yates tracked towards him, but it was already too late for the man. Zechs' gun went off first and Yates was suddenly stunned by a bullet hole appearing in the center of his forehead. Blood and gore splattered over Zechs and Duo as the man fell over dead, nerves still twitching. Yates' gun hit the floor and it went off. Zechs felt the sting of the bullet as it grazed his cheek and went into the wall.  
  
Men burst into the room, alerted to danger by the gunshots. Voices rose and fell as the men demanded to know what had happened. Zechs shouted for quiet.  
  
"I cashiered Yates earlier today," Zechs explained. "It seems that it made him mentally unstable. Please see to his body and call in the doctor for me. We'll be moving to another room."  
  
Zechs watched Yate's body being carried out. Men still wanted to hover and scratch their heads in horror and confusion at the violent turn of events. Zechs knew that he had to allow it. He knew that they needed to talk and get it out of their systems. He suffered it, sitting gingerly on the couch beside Duo, staring down at the young man who hadn't stirred through everything that had just happened. How could such a small, wayward, irresponsible, and irritating human being have so completely turned his world upside down? Once at his Winter estate, Zechs was suddenly determined to find out.


	8. Counting Coo

Duo awoke with a start. Confused, he tried to make sense out of the slow turning of a wicker ceiling fan overhead and the odd rattan and bead board construction of the ceiling. Memory twitched, the wrong memory; a time when he had gone to South America on a mission. Deep in the jungles, he had huddled for days in an old hut, fending off biting insects and enduring ceaseless rain. It was a long moment before Duo remembered that there hadn't been a ceiling fan there, or even electricity to power such a thing.   
  
Soft sheets. A good blanket. A queen size bed with tall posts at each end. The smell of orchids. Warm sunlight filtering onto hardwood floors from a clear, picture window. For a moment, Duo was relaxed and free of worry, admiring his surroundings and wondering, on the edge of consciousness, whether this was heaven and if he had died without knowing it.  
  
"Yeah, right," Duo whispered sourly from a dry throat. "I must be alive because Shinigami isn't going to Heaven!"  
  
Duo tried to sit up and regretted it. True memory washed over him as a stab of pain from his ribs warned him not to move again. Of course, he thought, this must be the bungalow Zechs had talked about. It bothered Duo that he couldn't remember being brought there. How much time had passed? What had happened while he had been sleeping? He remembered Zechs' intense, blue eyes and his strong arms as the man had carried him.  
  
Duo experienced a strange double emotion, an odd, warm feeling and a crawling sense of trepidation. Both of those emotions centered on one thought and that thought meant different things depending on which emotion Duo thought about it with. That thought was this; Zechs could have done anything to him while he had been unconscious. That double meaning, and that tug of war of emotions, confused Duo badly. It felt like an assault and he fought back in the only way he knew how, by shoving the thought, and the accompanying emotions, down deep, viciously refusing to acknowledge them.  
  
A doctor came into the room slowly, balancing a cup of tea gingerly on a saucer, eyes intent on the task. He settled, with exaggerated care, into a chair behind a simple desk, and sighed as he sipped at the hot tea.  
  
"Watching over the dead?" Duo whispered.  
  
The man looked up, startled. Duo didn't remember seeing him before, but the man looked kind and concerned, open face and baby blue eyes disarming as he smiled in relief and put aside his tea. He came to Duo's bedside, automatically checking the machines and Duo's vitals as he did so.  
  
"You're a strong, young man," the doctor said in a voice as kind as his face. "Determined and stubborn too. You could have regained consciousness a lot quicker if you had allowed me to administer fluids and medications." He finished with the machines and then bent to look closely into Duo's eyes, checking for alertness. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Disoriented," Duo replied. "Throat, dry as a bone. Stomach, nauseated. Ribs, agony. I feel like fifty Gundams used me for target practice. Is that a good enough description?"  
  
"Ah," the doctor said with a small chuckle. Duo didn't see the humor, but he supposed the man was trying to reassure him with good bedside manner. "I could give you some mild pain relievers."  
  
Duo gritted his teeth against saying yes. He had to stay sharp until he knew what the situation was. "No... thank you."  
  
The doctor looked unhappy, not liking a patient in obvious pain, but he nodded, bowing to Duo's wish. That made Duo relax somewhat. If he wasn't going to be forced into taking medication, then perhaps Zechs had meant what he said. Duo decided to test his freedom immediately.  
  
"I want to be taken to a hospital, now." Duo kept his voice firm and reasonable, despite the fact that it was still only a whisper.  
  
The doctor actually brightened. "Really? That is a wise choice, young man. A hospital can treat you properly. I'll call for a car immediately." He began to walk away.  
  
"Do you have to clear it with Zechs first, I mean Milliardo Peacecraft?" Duo asked quickly.  
  
The doctor stopped and reassured him. "No, sir. I was told that you were in complete charge of your household and your care. Whatever you wish, shall be done. There won't be any delay."  
  
The doctor began to leave again. He was almost to the door when Duo finally reacted. "Uh, wait a minute! I've changed my mind." The doctor paused, confused and disappointed. "I, ah, wasn't sure what was going on here," Duo explained. "But if I'm really in charge-" The doctor nodded, "then I guess I'll just stay put and let you take care of me." Duo gave the doctor his best grin. "Knowing Z- uh, Milliardo, I'll bet you're the best doctor there is."  
  
The doctor actually blushed, pleased by the compliment. "I'd like to think so, sir," he replied modestly.  
  
"Then I'm in very competent hands," Duo told him and relaxed back into his pillows. "Can I get something to eat and drink, doc?"  
  
"Yes, of course," the doctor replied. "I'll see to it, though, I'm afraid you'll be restricted to soft foods until your stomach is in working order again. You've been on fluid nutrients for a long while."  
  
Duo made a face, but managed to keep on his smile. "I can handle it. I use to have to eat much worse when I was out on missions."  
  
The doctor looked almost shy. He stared at the floor for so long that Duo became slightly nervous. Finally, the man looked up and his blue eyes were shinning. "I just wanted to say, sir, something that can't be said often enough by the colonists and by the people of Earth..."  
  
Duo blinked, confused. "What's that?"  
  
"Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for helping us be free and at peace."  
  
The man was embarrassed now. He ducked his head and left the room. Duo stared after him. After so much indifference, and after meeting so many who just wanted to forget about the war and Gundam pilots, Duo was amazed and touched by this one man's gratitude. He covered his eyes with his shaking hand and tried to breathe deep and not cry.  
  
+  
  
"What's this?" Zechs raised eyebrows as a man put a ragged box on the table in front of him. The table was already full of paperwork and glowing palm screens, all vying for Zechs' immediate attention. The Winter Estate was warm and comfortable , usually reserved for vacations, but Zechs' duties never ceased. If he hoped for any time to visit Duo Maxwell that afternoon, he had to make some inroad into the work load. He didn't need to be interrupted by nervous servants with strange boxes. "Well?" he prompted irritably.  
  
The servant bowed slightly, "Sorry to interrupt, sir, but this came by one of your transports from the Peacecraft home in the States."  
  
"By transport?" Zechs was shocked and ready to be angry. "Who authorized that? What could be so important as to waste that kind of fuel and manpower?"  
  
The servant flushed uncertainly. "That wasn't it's only cargo, sir. It was delivering new parts and supplies as well."  
  
Zechs relaxed, anger cooling, but the box was still presenting him with its irritating presence. He opened it with sharp movements, ripping tape impatiently and then laying open the worn, cardboard flaps. Staring inside cautiously, suddenly thinking about Yates and maybe more subtle forms of attack, Zechs relaxed when he saw the dark clothing. He pulled them out with a scowl.  
  
"Clothes. Maxwell's clothes, I believe," he muttered. He had already ordered servants to provide some clothing to the young man. These few, worn rags didn't warrant space on a transport.  
  
Zechs almost shoved the box aside, but then caught sight of the edge of something colorful. Reaching under the clothes, he pulled out several manga, a few odds and ends, and a journal.  
  
"That will be all," Zechs said to the servant and then promptly forgot about the man as he took hold of the journal and retreated to his library. Settling in an overstuffed chair in the light of a window, Zechs propped his long legs on a footstool and began to read, ignoring the soldier in him that complained about the unfinished work. Zechs shrugged off that inner voice. Work could wait.  
  
_The Journal of Duo Maxwell:_

_First Entry: This is so lame. I can't believe I'm even doing this. Quatre is such a girlie man for even suggesting it. Maybe I'm a girlie man for letting him talk me into it? He thinks, because I don't want to talk to anyone about the war, I should talk to myself by writing stuff down. Well, here goes. I must be desperate or stupid. Probably both._

_Nope, not going to date anything. I hate that. That's Heero's style, methodical, boring, by the book. I wanna be free and easy, hm, I guess that's my whole problem in a nutshell... naw, nothing's that simple. I better keep writing. Anyway, It's after the war, but I know that, so why am I writing it down? Maybe I just need to hear it enough times before I actually believe it...._

_Today I got up, ate breakfast, exercised, went to my job with the Preventers, ate lunch, made fun of Heero, pretended to do paperwork, made fun of Heero again, went home with him to our apartment, ate dinner, read manga, and now I'm going to sleep. Fascinating. Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer for this stuff?_

_Zechs skipped at least ten like entries, wondering why Duo was bothering and then realized that it was a form of rebellion. Duo was going to do as Quatre suggested, but he was going to be sarcastic and show that he didn't like it. Childish, Zechs thought, and pointless since Duo was the only one to read it._  
  
_Entry Twelve: Got up, ate breakfast, went to work, shot teenage drug dealer to death, ate lunch, made fun of Heero, quit job, got beat up by Heero, missed dinner. Bleeding bad. Soldiers should never outlive the war. They make terrible roommates._  
  
There was a smear of blood on that entry and it was scrawled shakily. Zechs felt a chill. There were some scribbled drawings after that, aimless, as if Duo couldn't bring himself to write again, and then,  
  
_Entry Thirteen: Yeah, I let this go, but Heero wouldn't bring me my stuff in the hospital. He hates hospitals as much as I do. He didn't even visit me, the bastard. He could at least have called me. I had to crawl out on my own and get a taxi. Heero didn't even say hello, just grunted at me when I made it home and went back to his work. Oh, he did say one thing, "Get a job or get out." Nice. He didn't even care that he gave me internal bleeding. I hate him. I'm moving out of here as soon as I can._

_Entry Fourteen: Had a nightmare. I keep having nightmares. Heero just tells me to shut up. He doesn't care that I dream about the war. He doesn't want to listen when I try and tell him what the dreams are about. He just hates the screaming. I guess I can write it down here. Pretty pathetic that I have to talk to a book. I should have friends to listen to me. Lots of them. Why don't I? Guess they wouldn't want to hear it. They wouldn't understand anyway. Maybe that's why I don't have them. They would be talking about the wife and the kids or soccer practice and I'd be yakking about blowing up Ozzies or how I used to watch them die when I cut their suits in half in space. Yeah, that's what the dreams are about, their faces. I always see their faces. They always looked so surprised right before they died._

_Entry Fifteen: I have a job, but it isn't working out too well. I don't know why I can't pay attention, why I can't bother to show up on time, why I can't see the point. I'm an adult now. I'm supposed to be responsible and pay my share of the bills. Maybe I just need to get laid. I don't know why I've waited this long. Guess I'm a late bloomer. I was just too busy with the war to bother before, but now I should be screwing ten times a day like a normal guy, right? I don't know. None of the girls I work with seem interesting and Heero's women are sluts. I don't want them. Just my luck to be messed up in the head and picky._

_Entry Sixteen: Heero keeps walking around in these stupid shorts. I wish he would stop. It bothers me. I made a joke at work that I was so desperate for some sex that I'd lay my roommate if he didn't have a gun. They didn't get it. Neither did I. Why did I even say that? Maybe I am desperate enough to get weird. Heero is built for a guy and he does have this pretty, pouty face. Those shorts are just too tight and he doesn't even look uncomfortable. Why am I writing this? Maybe as my last will and testament. Duo Maxwell: killed by roommate when hormones overpowered him. I do need to get laid. I'm thinking really weird shit now. Maybe that receptionist at work. She liked me._

_Entry Seventeen: Can't sleep, can't make any friends except for a cold bastard who likes to beat me up, and now I can't date. She had her hands all over me and I just couldn't do a thing. I hate myself. There's something messed up. Something from the war. Maybe I'm damaged from all those chemicals, Gundam grease, and being in space without shielding. I tried to talk to Heero and he just glared at me. He told me I was lucky not to have sexual urges distracting me from my work. Bastard. Why don't I leave? He's not my friend. Why do I keep thinking he is? Why do I want him to be? Maybe because he's the only one who understands me._

_Entry Eighteen: yeah, I know, it's been a long time. A lot of stuff happened. Heero caught me staring at him when he came out of the shower. I was just looking. All guys look, don't they? Just comparing, ya know? He had a really big dick. It was amazing, so I stared. He didn't have to beat the shit out of me for it. Bastard! Woke up in the hospital with tubes everywhere. I hate hospitals. I got myself out of there double time and went looking for Quatre. Yeah, I was desperate. Quatre is so nice and proper. He has a wonderful life, he has his head on straight. Maybe he has nightmares too, but he doesn't let it affect him. It hurts to be around him. It hurts because I can see how much I DON'T have it together compared to him. He makes me feel like I'm six or something. Stupid Duo he has to take care of. Only I didn't get to see him. I met Zechs instead. I had dinner with him. Isn't that weird? We talked. I mean, really talked. I don't remember the last time I did that with anyone. He listened, completely listened to every word and he looked at me like, I dunno, like he cared or something. That sounds so stupid! Like an idiot, I drank too much. I woke up in a hotel room and then went crawling back to Heero. He just grunted like he hadn't almost killed me and told me I could stay if I got a job and kept it. Same old rant. Back to nobody caring or listening to me. I wonder what Zechs thinks of me? Did I make a complete idiot out of myself? He probably- God! Why do I even fucking care? I sound like I was on a date or something. This is so stupid! I'm not going to write stuff anymore!_

Zechs flipped through the empty pages and then closed the book. Going back into his office, he tucked the book back under Duo's clothes and then taped the box closed again. He smoothed hands over the top and stared at nothing. A warmth had spread through him when he had read that Duo had wondered what he, Zechs, had thought of him. That warmth wouldn't be stifled. The entries portrayed a mind in confusion with leanings towards real mental instability. That should have made Zechs cold, warned him away from the young man. Instead, he felt drawn more strongly to Duo by their shared pain and inner darkness.  
  
Zechs sat down and began on his paperwork, moving through it as quickly as he could, eager to see Duo as soon as possible, not only to return his things to him, but to see Duo with the new perspective Duo's journal had given him.  
  
+  
  
Heero Yuy went over the plans of Zechs' estate. Spread out on the hotel bed, along with items he would need for infiltration of the site, he was prepared for the mission he had set out for himself. Now, he only needed to check his information with some reconnaissance and to lay out the plan of escape.  
  
Not much longer, Heero thought. Soon he would have Duo with him again and he could return home. Duo would be his annoying self again, filling up the empty space in the apartment and filling up that distracting part of Heero that he could never rid himself of, a part that kept him from being perfect, a part of himself that was human and needy of companionship. Duo was not perfect in any way, but Heero had a plan for him as well. He would mold Duo. Make him less of a distraction. Heero planned to teach Duo to fill the spaces in his life yet not distract him from his work and his goal of rising to the pinnacle of perfection.  
  
The thought of teaching Duo, of making him obey once and for all, of molding him into exactly what he, Heero needed; companion, roommate, and sexual partner, made Heero hard. He tried to ignore it. He hated this part of himself. He had often considered chemical castration, but that would have been a weakness, an admission that he couldn't control himself. Heero was simply too proud for that. Instead, he went about the business of relieving his need so that he could return to his mission.  
  
Heero lowered his black, spandex pants. Standing by the bed, staring down at the map, he stroked his cock while he studied the layout. He knew that Duo was in one of the bungalows. He had to discover which one and in what sort of shape the young man was in. It wouldn't be logical to break into the estate now if Duo was too ill to travel.

Heero thought of Duo's long hair, spread out around him, that long, slender waist, and those rounded globes of his ass. He grew harder. He would break down Duo's reluctance, he thought, and teach him to relieve both of their sexual needs quickly and efficiently. Duo would see how beneficial it was and agree once Heero broke through his odd aversion.  
  
Heero suddenly grabbed a pillow and rolled it so that it stuck up enticingly. Leaning into it from the side of the bed, he braced his hands on either side of the map and stuck his cock into the pillows' softness. Heero imagined another rounded softness instead and began a rapid pumping motion. He groaned as a mental image of Duo, writhed in pleasure beneath him, supplanting all thoughts of the mission. He was pumping into Duo's ass, imaging it tight and deep, warm and welcoming. Heero leaned over further, imaging wrapping his arms around that slender waist, breathing in Duo's sweet scent, biting that slim neck: predator claiming its prey. Heero pounded hard, rutted like a beast, and then exploded into the pillow.  
  
Heero straightened, panting. He backed away from the pillow, staring, trailing cum, confused by what had just over taken him. Sex to him was mechanical and necessary. He had never had a fantasy like that one. It was weakness. Wrong. His mind tried to bring itself to order and failed. He pounded a fist into a wall and broke through the flimsy wood. Again he punched, Again he broke through. His knuckles bled. The pain traveled down his arm, shocking him. It allowed him to think again, pull himself back from a brink he hadn't realized he was so close to falling over.  
  
Heero sat on the floor, tucking his legs up so that he was siting cross legged. He composed himself for meditation. Sexual frustration had broken through his training, he thought. He couldn't allow that to happen again. A few days of fasting and pain training would put his mind back into order and allow him to complete his mission without the distraction of unwanted emotions and urges. He would not allow Duo Maxwell to do that to him again. Heero intended to use Duo. He was to be a tool, nothing more. Heero would teach him to be a perfect tool.

+  
  
Duo leaned back into the pillows of the wicker divan and grimaced as he sipped at the nutritional drink the doctor had prepared for him. Three other glasses were lined up on the small table beside him, all drunk with equal distaste. The proteins and vitamins sat heavy in Duo's shrunken stomach, threatening to come back up again if he didn't keep very still. The drinks were a compromise he had to endure in exchange for not being hooked up to I.V.'s. After four glasses, Duo was almost ready to change his mind.  
  
On a wide porch, stretched out on the divan in a pair of loose, cotton shorts, slippers , and a thin robe, enjoying a slight breeze and a view of a carefully manicured jungle of greenery, Duo could almost forget his injuries and his troubles. After two days of obedient servants, an obedient doctor, and an absent Zechs, Duo finally began to trust Zechs' word that he was indeed on his own. That freedom would have tasted sweeter if he hadn't been an invalid and dependent on so many people to take care of him.  
  
"Feeling well?"  
  
Duo started, almost dropping the glass. He stared at Zechs with wide, amethyst eyes, as the platinum blonde Peacecraft Prince mounted the steps to the porch and slowly approached Duo with a box in his hands. Duo recognized it at once.  
  
"Hey, that's my stuff!"  
  
Zechs looked down at the non descript box in his hands in surprise. "How can you tell?"  
  
Duo managed a grin, trying to fake confidence. "Me and that box go way back. I'd know it anywhere!"  
  
Zechs smiled, amused. That smile made him beautiful. Duo blinked, even his faked confidence evaporating. The sunlight coming down from under the eve of the porch struck Zechs just so, making his white hair shimmer and his eyes seem like clear, blue crystals. His clear complexion was flawless, his sensuous mouth ready to kiss.  
  
Duo melted into the divan. Why was he even thinking things like that? He wondered. This man used to be his enemy! This was the man who had tried to kill him and a good portion of everyone else! If he was beautiful, it was the beauty of a devil! Besides, he was a man! Men weren't supposed to be beautiful. A small voice deep down whispered evilly, ‘and other men weren't suppose to notice when the were.'  
  
Duo felt his face go red. Zechs didn't seem to notice as he cleared off the glasses, placing them on the floor, and then put the box in their place on the table. That done, he lowered himself into a chair on the other side of the table and looked Duo over in interest. That made Duo blush even deeper. He was well aware how awful he looked. Next to Zechs' military crispness, he felt like a bum.  
  
"Your hair is tangled," Zechs said at last as Duo opened the box and began rummaging inside, trying to hide his red face. "You should have a servant comb it out for you."  
  
"I need an all over grooming," Duo agreed as he lifted out clothes and brightened at the manga and some of his personal effects. "Doctor won't let me take a bath or a shower yet. He just lets me sponge. I hope I don't stink too bad."  
  
Zechs was politeness itself. "Not at all," he lied. "When will he allow you to wash thoroughly?"  
  
Duo laughed. "I believe Quatre calls that ‘tact'. How did you get my box of things?"  
  
"It was sent here by a servant," Zechs replied, wondering that himself. "I'm not sure how he came to be in possession of it. "

 

Duo thought it over and could only come to one conclusion, as unlikely as it seemed. "I called Heero Yuy and asked him to send my stuff to me. I never expected that he actually would. Heero doesn't bother himself with favors. I'll have to thank him."  
  
Zechs frowned, perplexed. "Why?"  
  
Duo looked up, startled. Zechs' eyes were warm and... no, he wasn't mistaken, they were showing concern for him. "Why?" Duo echoed.  
  
Zechs looked uncomfortable. "After the way he hurt you, I can't imagine why you would want to speak to him ever again. Boxing a few of your things, and sending them to you, hardly makes up for-"  
  
"He didn't box them," Duo mumbled as he began searching the box again. "I never unpack. It's an old habit. This is all I own, right here, in my favorite box." He blinked, "minus some clothes, of course. Heero must have forgotten them."  
  
Zechs blinked, stunned. "You own so little."  
  
Duo grimaced. "Pretty pathetic, huh?"  
  
"Only if you don't want it to be that way," Zechs replied. He leaned so that he rested his elbows on his knees, staring at Duo earnestly. "Sometimes, I wish my life could be reduced to a single box."  
  
"What's stopping you?" Duo wondered. He felt the innocence of the question as it left his mouth and he was embarrassed again. Zechs wasn't that much older than himself, yet he seemed twice Duo's age in experience. He watched Zechs smile and go distant, as if he were actually considering leaving everything behind and only taking a few things in a box to a new life.  
  
"I have responsibilities, unfortunately," Zechs replied sadly. "Duties that, if I'm not there to do them, will cause people's lives to be disrupted. They depend on me."  
  
Duo went bitter, looking off into the garden. "Yeah, people used to depend on me too. Now they just want to forget about me."  
  
"There are many ways to be useful, to have people depend on you again," Zechs pointed out.  
  
Duo shook his head and his hands busied themselves with the box again. He found his journal and fingered it. He didn't want to talk about his problems. He couldn't make sense out of them himself. On the one hand he wanted to be a Gundam pilot again. He wanted to be the hero and have everyone depending on him. On the other hand, he wanted what had been stolen from him, his childhood, his innocence. He didn't want to wake up, dripping with sweat, from nightmares of killing people. He didn't want to have panic attacks whenever he heard an alarm or a noise that sounded too much like a gun or a bomb ticking over to deadly. He didn't want to talk to a man and remember that they had both killed and that he had been his enemy.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Zechs asked.  
  
Duo chewed on his bottom lip and then let it go. "I was wondering how many people have read my journal," he lied.  
  
"I assure you-" Zechs began, the lie easy on his tongue, ready to reassure Duo that his privacy hadn't been violated, especially by him. He stopped himself just in time. He reminded himself that he wasn't talking to a child. Duo's level eyes on him, told him that Duo was ready to chew Zechs to pieces if he dared to treat him that way. "I'm sorry,' Zechs finished at last.  
  
Duo frowned. He hadn't expected the truth. He almost wished Zechs had lied to him. Maybe, he thought, he could have forced himself to believe it. He said, trying to sound flippant and uncaring, "Guess a person has to expect that to happen when they write stuff down. Heero probably read it too. I'm surprised he's not here now trying to shove my journal down my throat."  
  
"Why do you stay with him?" Zechs wondered.  
  
Duo shoved his box to the end of the divan, ignoring the catch in his ribs. He sat back, wrapping his arms around them and frowning. "Zechs...," he sighed and then almost angrily. "What game are you playing with me? I'm sure you have a lot better things to do than to sit and talk with a scabby ex pilot who can't keep himself from getting the shit beat out of him."  
  
Zechs frowned to, but persisted. "Tell me why, Duo."  
  
Duo swallowed hard and found the button holes of his robe suddenly interesting. "He puts up with me," he replied. "He tries to help me."  
  
"Help you?" Zechs said curiously. "How?"  
  
"I never had a normal life," Duo replied. "I had a street gang once, an orphanage for a short time, and Dr. G for a few years. None of it was permanent or close to normal. I don't know how to cook, clean, or do much more for myself than keep clothes on my back and scavenge for enough food to keep me alive. I try to work. I try to live like everyone else, but... I dunno. Heero tries to keep me in line, tries to teach me how to be on time, pay my share of the bills, and pick up after myself. I do fine for awhile and then I..."  
  
"Don't see the point any more?"  
  
Zechs' words chilled Duo to the bone. They had cut to the heart of his problem. He blinked, feeling tears. He looked away and said through gritted teeth. "Yeah."  
  
Zechs nodded, eyes distant, looking inside at his own pain. "I am kept ‘in line' by schedules and duties that can't be avoided," Zechs explained. "but often I don't see the point either." His eyes focused on Duo and they were very intense. "Beatings can't help you find it Duo."  
  
Duo was startled by Zechs' revelation. He kept talking, saying things that he hadn't been able to say to anyone else, Zechs' openness, his caring eyes, dragging it out of him. "I know Heero can't really help me, especially by trying to beat me into line. I think, that last time, after he...," Duo grimaced and then went on, hoping that Zechs hadn't noticed his stumble. He didn't want to talk about what Heero had almost done to him, "after he attacked me, I realized that I was being an idiot for putting up with it. I realized that I had to stop depending on other people. I thought, if I gave myself a backbone and made my own way, I'd have to be responsible to survive." Duo smiled tightly. "I didn't have long to try out that theory."  
  
Zechs nodded thoughtfully, but then said, "Being responsible is only part of it. If you don't have a goal in life, a reason for getting up in the morning, you won't succeed, Duo."  
  
"That's kind of what the Doctor said," Duo murmured.  
  
"Which doctor?" Zechs wondered.  
  
The psychiatrist, Duo thought with alarm, but he covered it with a shrug. "Just someone I met," he replied, not wanting Zechs to know he was screwed up enough to need THAT kind of doctor. "He told me nearly the same thing. I can't wait for that though. I need a patch until then. Not starving to death seemed a good enough motivation."  
  
"Fear of death," Zechs said, pushing a long lock of white hair out of his handsome face absently and leaning back in his chair. "You didn't think that Heero would kill you? He came close to it."  
  
Duo didn't want to talk about that either, so he said quickly. "He didn't mean to. He's not good at dealing with emotions, that's all, and I pushed his buttons one to many times."  
  
Zechs stood up, face furious. Duo flinched and felt for a weapon he didn't have. Zechs said, with incredible intensity, "Don't ever say that again! Don't ever blame yourself for what he did to you!"  
  
Duo could only stare, shocked, mesmerized by Zechs' molten blue eyes. The man was just so very handsome, a small part of Duo's mind thought within a roil of confusion. Zechs looked almost supernatural, white hair a tangle over his blue eyes and chin set hard. He seemed unnaturally tall as well and unnaturally commanding. Lightning Count, Duo thought, and understood then that the name had more to do with Zechs' personality than any speed.  
  
"Uh, okay," was all Duo could manage to get out. He blushed. "Okay, relax, man. I didn't mean to make you upset and all."  
  
Zechs took a deep breath and let it out. He pushed his hair back from his face again, unruly locks at all odds with his otherwise impeccable appearance. Duo wondered if he allowed them to remain like that on purpose. Zechs' wild, long hair gave him an edgy, dangerous look. If he had been too perfect, his men might have thought him an armchair commander, a man who didn't get his hands dirty. The effect those disordered bangs had on Duo was more personal. Duo didn't find them a reassuring mark that Zechs wasn't a complete elitist and too distant to talk to, instead he found them... uncomfortably appealing. Duo refused to think of them any other way, though, deep down, he had a stronger word than ‘appealing'.  
  
"Forgive me," Zechs said at last. "I have grown to hate violence of any kind. It makes me less than understanding."  
  
"No, you're right,' Duo replied uncertainly. "I shouldn't blame myself. Heero shouldn't have pounded on me, no matter how much I messed things up. I know that." He picked at his robe again. "I don't know why I even said all of that. You just wanted to know how I was feeling and I just said a bunch of stupid stuff. Sorry. I feel fine. Healing good. You can go about you business now."  
  
Zechs sighed, exasperated at Duo's sudden withdrawal. "I didn't come here because of duty."  
  
"No?" Duo scratched at his nose and then favored Zechs with his innocent eyes. Maybe if he played it right, he thought, Zechs might finally tell him what was really going on.  
  
"Why did you decide to live with Heero?" Zechs asked abruptly.  
  
Duo replied truthfully enough. "I guess, because we had shared the same experiences. We understood each other."  
  
Zechs nodded and then said, "That's why I'm here, Duo Maxwell. I need someone to understand me too."  
  
Duo blinked, surprised and wide eyed, not sure how he felt about that revelation. "Are you suggesting that we be friends, Zechs?"  
  
Zechs half smiled as if he wished the moment to be serious and solemn and couldn't manage it in the face of Duo's comical astonishment. "Yes, friends," Zechs replied, leaving it at that for now. It was all that he was willing to admit to himself at the moment.  
  
Duo was hardly believing his ears. He wanted to say something funny, biting, sarcastic, anything to stop the moment they were having. It was making him too uncomfortable. He didn't know if he wanted Zechs to get that close to him. He was still trying to figure the man out.  
  
"Okay," Duo said finally. "I think you're just suggesting we get together and talk about old, times, right, not any kind of, ‘let's hang out and have a few beers' kind of friendship right?"  
  
"You don't drink," Zechs pointed out, his smile coming more easily.  
  
"Yeah, " Duo found himself smiling too. "Well, you know what I mean."  
  
"I don't think a plan can be made for this kind of thing," Zechs replied. "We will talk from time to time-"  
  
"And see how long we can tolerate each other?" Duo wondered. "Just let me know when you get to the punching stage. I can be pretty annoying."  
  
Zechs' smile dropped and he replied angrily. "I will never hit you, Duo. Believe that."  
  
Duo felt embarrassed by Zechs' intensity. "Uh, okay. That's good. I'm glad."  
  
Zechs nodded and then he suddenly walked into the bungalow. Duo looked after him, surprised by his sudden departure, and then was even more surprised when Zechs returned with a hair band and a hair brush.  
  
Zechs pulled his chair close to Duo. He showed Duo the brush and the hair tie and asked politely, "May I? If you let this go much longer, it may become so tangled you may have to cut it off."  
  
"You want to brush my hair?" Duo was dumbfounded. "Why?"  
  
"Why do I wish to do it?" Zechs wondered. Without waiting for Duo to give his approval, he began unbinding Duo's very long, chestnut braid. "I suppose I hate disorder, but I have my own long hair and I know much care it requires. Since we are to be friends, in a matter of speaking, I will assist you in a friendly manner. I know that you are unable to lift your arms to do this yourself."  
  
"Um, thanks," Duo managed to say as he blushed to the roots of his hair. Zechs' strong fingers were touching him. It was only his braid, but for some reason Duo refused to understand, it was making him warm and giving him an odd, fluttering sensation.  
  
Zechs was unaware of Duo's discomfort, his attention fully on the large rat nest knots in his hands. Duo was glad when he began pulling the strands of hair apart. It hurt. That pain distracted Duo from the sensations coiling up inside of him. As separating the knots became an actual battle, Duo groaned and winced. Now all he could think about was wishing that Zechs finished soon.  
  
Zechs didn't have the comfort of distracting pain. He realized, almost at once, that he had been weak and foolish to take on the task of brushing Duo's hair. After their intimate talk, he had been unable to stop the sudden desire to touch the young man in any manner he could manage. Brushing out Duo's tangles had seemed like an excellent excuse. Now, with the silky, chestnut strands in his hands, all Zechs could think about was Duo's soft, moist, warm mouth on his cock and the feel of Duo's privates in his hand. The tightness in his groin warned him. Zechs let a fall of Duo's untangled hair drop into his lap, covering the rise there in his pants. Zechs hurried with his task. He had to stop soon or he would forget himself, he was certain. He could see the creamy line of Duo's neck in the corner of his vision, and the young man's pink lips worried between fine, white teeth as Duo winced and hissed in pain.  
  
"Easy man!" Duo finally said in protest. "You aren't wiring a trench fence! That's attached to my head!"  
  
Zechs grimaced and slowed. "Forgive me, " he whispered. "I didn't realize it was so tangled. I do have duties to attend to."  
  
Duo felt those words sting him. "Okay, you don't have to finish. I can get someone else... I really don't like anyone touching my hair though. I think I can finish up myself." Duo's face flamed as he realized what he had just said. He was letting Zechs touch his hair. What did that mean? He hadn't even thought to protest.  
  
Zechs forced himself to relax and slow down. Duo's obvious hurt at his words forced his erection to cool. "I finish what I start," he replied and then, with a deprecating smile, "A soldier should have short hair, but it's a family tradition that the heir to the Peacecraft name have long hair."  
  
"Is that why Relena has long hair?" Duo wondered.  
  
It was Zechs' turn to feel the sting of words. He looked up, eyes hot with anger. Duo's expression stopped him. It was open and interested. He wasn't insulting Zechs on purpose. "I did give the ruling seat to her," Zechs acknowledged, pushing through his anger to understand Duo's question. He finished the last of the knots and began to brush out the silken mass of Duo's hair. "Why do you keep your hair so long?"  
  
Duo was very quiet. The sound of the brush running through his hair was loud in that silence. "I don't want to talk about it," Duo said at last. Zechs saw the distant pain of memories in his eyes.  
  
"That's all right," Zechs said quickly. "You don't owe me any explanations."  
  
Zechs braided Duo's hair and then tied it of with the black band. Standing up, he cracked his back and sighed. "Back to my duties."  
  
"Thanks, Zechs," Duo said, running the perfect braid through his fingers. "This makes me feel much better. Once I have a bath..."  
  
Zechs wrinkled his nose and chuckled. "Yes, I think I'll curtail any indoor conversations until then,"  
  
Duo broke into a laugh, hugging at the pain it caused his ribs, but unable to stop himself. He quieted after a moment, breathing a little raggedly, he said, only half serious. "I don't want to like you Zechs."  
  
Zechs nodded, frowning. "I know."  
  
"I don't want to owe you anything."  
  
"I know that, too."  
  
Duo scowled. "I certainly don't want to be kept here like a bird in a cage, waiting around until you feel like talking to me. That's a rich man's game. I'm not playing. You can't buy me. I won't be your friend because you pay me to. I'm going to get out of here as soon as I can. I'm going to work. I'm going to try again to make it on my own."  
  
"Of course," Zechs agreed. "You're free to come and go as you please. If you want to return to the States, I'll prepare a shuttle for you."  
  
Duo shivered unconsciously. "Well, I kind of like the sun here. I don't think I'll be wanting to get back to the cold any time soon. Maybe I need a change of scenery to change my life, get away from old habits and-,' he stopped himself before he said Heero. "I'll try this place out before I decide what to do."  
  
"Good," Zechs said, feeling inwardly pleased. He wasn't sure how he would of reacted if Duo had suddenly decided to leave. The darkness was still in him. It was still capable of doing unpleasant things. He didn't want to give it the chance, especially where Duo was concerned. "I must go, Duo. We'll talk again. Please, don't hesitate to call on me if you need anything."  
  
Duo relaxed. He hadn't been sure about Zechs' reaction to his words. He was relieved to see that the man was accepting them and remaining pleasant. "Thanks, I will. See ya later."  
  
Zechs nodded and began stepping down the stairs, long legs graceful and hair flowing gently in the breeze. He said over his shoulder casually. "I didn't think that you were an idiot that time at the restaurant, Duo." and then he was striding away into the manicured jungle, his confession about reading Duo's journal made. He could hear Duo splutter something, but he thought it best not to witness Duo's embarrassment.  
  
There was a cage of different colored parrots. Zechs noticed them as he passed by on pea stone path, thinking about Duo's words; his wish not to be Zechs' caged bird, his entertainment when the mood struck him. Those words had troubled Zechs, reminding him that he had treated Duo that way already, taking what wasn't offered, using Duo as if he were a pet, less than human, a sexual amusement. The guilt of it gnawed at Zechs. It drew him to the birds. He almost longed to atone somehow by setting them free.  
  
Standing by the cage, Zechs put his hand on the door. He almost unlatched it, watched by curious bird eyes, mesmerized by sunlight on iridescent feathers, when a lack of color caught his attention. One very dead, snow white parrot was hanging from something attached to a perch. A shoelace, Zechs realized, as his stomach twisted and his hand reached for his gun. He looked wildly about him at the greenery. Anyone could be hiding in it.  
  
Zechs reached into his pocket and hit the button on his touch pad to call for security. It was obvious that the bird was a message, a message meant for him. A white bird. Zechs' white hair. Someone was not pleased with him. Someone wanted him dead.


	9. A Hundred Strokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo and Zechs have a lively conversation and Wu Fei makes a bad mistake.

"Do you have to stand and stare at me, Gibson?" Duo wondered irritably.  
  
"I am awaiting your pleasure, sir, "Gibson replied stiffly.  
  
"My 'pleasure' is to sunbathe alone," Duo retorted. "Go find some dust to clean or go iron doilies in the boss' house."  
  
"You, sir, are my 'boss', as you put it," Gibson replied, "and my only duty is to carry out your orders."  
  
Duo let out an exasperated sound. "Go get me some cold lemonade then, but do it very slowly, 'k?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Duo stretched out on his blanket, sunglasses protecting his sensitive eyes and only a pair of black, cotton shorts protecting his body from a fierce tropical sun. His hair was loose and stretched out all around him, drying from his first bath in a week, and his bruises and healing ribs were unwrapped from their bandages and baking in the wonderful heat.  
  
"Hello, Zechs," Duo said suddenly and tipped his sunglasses down as Zechs settled on the blanket, cross- legged beside him.  
  
"How did you know?" Zechs wondered with raised, white eyebrows. There was a slight breeze. His long, white hair moved with it like a silken, ripple of water and his blue eyes caught the sun, flashing like clear crystals.  
  
Zechs looked like a piece of a fairy tale come to life, Duo thought dimly, but it was Zechs' clothes that caught his attention the most. The man was wearing a white tank top, tan shorts, and simple loafers on his feet. Duo had never seen Zechs in anything other than dress uniform.  
  
Duo felt a flush, seeing Zechs' rounded, broad shoulders and the hint of nipples under the thin material of his tank top. Duo sat up, ignoring a sharp drag of pain, and pushed his sunglasses back up over his eyes to cover his confusion.  
  
"I'm a soldier," Duo reminded Zechs in an unsteady voice. "When I'm not messed up enough to die, I keep my senses on alert, especially when I'm outside. I heard you approaching. I could tell you were a man with a long stride. I just guessed at who that stride belonged to."  
  
Zechs nodded thoughtfully. "What if I had been an enemy?" Zechs wondered, looking at the deceptively defenseless, lithe body seated in front of him.  
  
Duo grinned as if he was about to deliver a very funny joke and then Zechs suddenly found himself staring at the barrel of a gun. Duo's eyes glittered, pleased that he had startled Zechs. "Meet Shinigami," Duo said with a dark chuckle.  
  
Zechs managed a wan smile, not sure about Duo's mood. When Duo tilted up the gun and then holstered it behind him, he couldn't help letting out a breath of relief. "Impressive," was all he could manage to say.  
  
"Why, thank you," Duo said, still grinning, but gentler now as he leaned back on his hands and regarded Zechs impishly. "So, what brings you out here?"  
  
"You," Zechs replied truthfully. "I wondered how you were doing." He appraised Duo's long line of ribs critically. "I'll have to speak with the staff about feeding you more."  
  
"Oh, I eat enough, trust me!" Duo laughed in genuine humor. "I have a high metabolism though, so it doesn't stay on my bones for long."  
  
"I see," Zechs replied and then sourly, "Perhaps you shouldn't have dismissed your doctor so quickly then. He might have been able to prescribe you something that would help that."   
  
Duo's smile dropped and he frowned, staring off across the lawn to the jungle beyond. "I'm fine. I hate doctors, Zechs. Pills, needles, and bedside manner aren't going to help me now. I have to heal myself at this point."  
  
"I suppose you're right," Zechs replied and then found himself openly staring at Duo's very long hair. It was an amazing, chestnut waterfall all around him shot with gold highlights.  
  
Duo noticed and stirred uncomfortably. "You're not going to make some crack about my hair, are you? I mean, you brushed it and braided it when I was sick, feeling sorry for me, I guess, but..."  
  
"But what?" Zechs touched his own long hair. "Your hair is certainly outside of the norm in men's fashion, but your choices are your business, Duo."  
  
Duo felt a warmth spread through him at those words. They seemed to carry far more meaning than speaking about hair. "Yes, they are," Duo replied. "I'm glad you respect that. I hope you'll respect my choice to leave too."  
  
Zechs kept his face still. "Leave?"  
  
Duo blushed. "Well, it seems that your staff has the wrong idea about us. I heard some of them talking when they thought that I was asleep. They think we're..." Duo paused and looked at Zechs, hoping not to have to finish. Zechs decided not to be helpful. Duo floundered. "Well, you like men, I've heard. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but... your staff thinks we're a... couple."  
  
Duo fiddled with his sunglasses and then glanced at Zechs for his reaction. Zechs shrugged and then said in a serious tone, "It's true that I prefer men as well as women in bed, but it is insubordinate for them to gossip and speculate about my guests. I'll have to reprimand them."  
  
"Uhm, well, I didn't want to get anyone into trouble," Duo replied, flustered now. "It's just that... well, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea..."  
  
Zechs studied Duo carefully and then he dared. "Why do you always try to leave rather than deal with difficulties? This time, it's because of someone's bad opinion of you. Are you so afraid of criticism?"  
  
Duo's mouth dropped open and then he closed it and sat up. "What is it with you?" he finally demanded angrily. "I'm trying to tell you I'm NOT interested, okay? I was trying to do it in a nice way!"  
  
Duo's angry, confused face was saying one thing while his mouth was saying something completely different. Zechs could feel a connection between them. It was clear that Duo was interested, but the young man was trying to hide it even from himself. Zechs' could understand Duo's confusion and denial. He was experiencing it himself. It was hard to fight that attraction though, when Duo was bare to the waist and Zechs could remember the taste of those pink nipples between his lips, against his tongue, and remember the soft feel of that long hair.  
  
"I thank you for your concern about my feelings," Zechs replied. He suddenly stretched out onto his back and flexed his arms, putting his hands under his head as a cushion and ignoring the hardness in his shorts They were tight enough to hide it, almost. "Your objection to any homosexual advances is duly noted."  
  
There was a silence and then Duo retorted, "You are such a freak, Zechs."  
  
Zechs raised an eyebrow, his clear blue eyes catching the sun. "Do you think so? Why?"  
  
"I can usually figure men out. I can't figure you out at all," Duo replied. He gathered his hair into his hands suddenly and began methodically to braid it as he continued, distracting himself, giving him something else to look at besides the outline of Zechs' muscular shoulders, waist, and that definite bulge in his shorts. "If you don't want sex," he said skeptically, especially in light of what he was trying NOT to look at, "and friendship really IS your only motive for wanting me around, then you are one bored aristocrat."  
  
Zechs blinked and then he asked, "It's true, I've been very bored, but what makes you say that as if you weren't worthy of being anyone's friend?"  
  
"Why don't you just tell me the truth?" Duo grated impatiently. "I don't lie, why should you? Do you think I can't handle the truth? That I'll run screaming like some stupid girl? I worked with Trowa and Quatre, remember? You can't get much gayer than that! It doesn't bother me, Zechs, so come out and say it!"  
  
Zechs shaded his eyes from the sun, hiding his reaction. The last thing he had expected was this conversation. He had thought Duo an innocent, unaware of his own sexuality, and had naturally assumed that any overt advances would be repulsed hatefully. He suddenly didn't trust Duo's open candor. It didn't fit with what he knew about Duo. It seemed too much like a trap.  
  
"You talked while you were ill," Zechs informed Duo carefully, not wanting Duo to be upset, but wanting him to think too. "I gathered, from what I heard, that Heero was not an ideal roommate."  
  
Duo stiffened. Zechs watched him from under his arm. He saw Duo go white, teeth gritting and face showing shock and nausea. Suddenly, Duo tried to get up. His ribs protested, lashing him with agony, but he wrapped his arms around himself and still awkwardly tried to stand.   
  
"Duo!" Zechs snapped in a tone of voice he had often used on frightened soldiers in battle. Duo froze, eyes wide and panicking. "Forgive me," Zechs said softly.  
  
That disarming tone, and Zechs' continued, relaxed, position on the blanket, had the desired effect. Duo sank back down, breathing hard and shivering.  
  
"I shouldn't have said that," Zechs continued. "It's not my business, or my place, to talk about a private matter with you. I simply wanted to point out that you have every reason to be wary of advances from me. I wanted you to know that I'm not offended and that I understand. You don't have to worry about my conduct, Duo Maxwell. I am ONLY interested in a friendship with you.  
  
Duo glanced at Zechs' receding bulge and then away. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"  
  
Zechs grimaced, wondering if the innuendo was unintentional. "You are very beautiful," he admitted, "and you are half dressed. You say that you are not gay, but I think you can still understand my predicament. You must concede that you would have had the same reaction if a woman had sat next to you in only a pair of shorts. That reaction doesn't indicate a desire to have a relationship. It's just a physical response."  
  
"A man isn't beautiful, he's handsome," Duo growled back, "and you need your eyes checked, Zechs." He sat, still holding his ribs, his hair half braided and his large, expressive eyes melting Zechs to the core.  
  
Zechs blinked and sat up. He turned away and picked imaginary lint off of his shirt. Damn him! Zechs thought. Duo had crawled under his skin again and touched him where he didn't want to be touched. It was a double insult that Duo was completely unaware of his own stunning good looks besides imagining that he wasn't gay.  
  
"If you're still intent on leaving," Zechs said quietly. "I'll call a car for you." He almost hoped that Duo would, but he knew that his growing addiction to the ex-Gundam pilot wasn't going to go away because of distance put between them.  
  
Duo was thoughtful. He finished his braid and then tied it off with a band he fished out of a pocket. "You were right."  
  
Zechs raised eyebrows and turned to look at Duo. "About what?"

Duo sighed and ran a hand through his unruly bangs. "I don't want to stay here, even though it's great, because it's your place and your choice that I'm here. I was too sick to refuse before. Now that I can get around again, I should get the hell out and get back to my old life... only I didn't really have one. I pretty much cut my ties with Heero and I screwed up my job again. There's nothing to go back to except rain, cold, and a sidewalk for my bed. It's hard to consider that when I'm lying in the warm sun with servants kissing my ass, as I'm sure you intended."  
  
Zechs couldn't help a smile. "I assure you, I didn't plan it that way, but if it's independence you are complaining about, I thought that I had already made it clear that you are owed the care that you have received so far. You were injured, almost killed, by one of my men. When you feel that you are healed, you may return to work and pay me rent on the bungalow. If that's not to your liking, then I will have you taken wherever you wish with some severance credits." He made an exasperated sound. "We've already discussed this, Duo, and you agreed to stay."  
  
"Until I was healed," Duo corrected, "and until I found out that everyone thought I was your pool boy. That changed the situation."  
  
Zechs raised an eyebrow. "Pool boy?"   
  
"Like I said though," Duo continued with a small flush of embarrassment, "You were right when you said that I was running away from what people thought of me. I made up my mind to change my life. Running away is part of it. Seems I'm always running when things get tough. I guess that's why the other pilots don't bother with me anymore. It's hard to help someone, invest time and money, and then have that person screw you by running away when life gets too difficult. Maybe It's time for Duo Maxwell to stop running and tough it out this time." He frowned. "I just don't like that I have to start here, in this situation, owing you."  
  
"I understand," Zechs replied.  
  
Duo grinned. "I think you do, and that's weird, because you're the first person who has. Well, no more running for now, as long as you keep your hands to yourself and forget any, uhm, ulterior motives about getting into my pants."  
  
Zechs blinked and shook his head. "It was the furthest thing from my mind, I assure you," he lied smoothly and then stood up gracefully, stretching. "Hopefully that's settled at last, and we won't have to discuss your leaving again any time soon." Zechs suddenly leaned down impulsively and caressed Duo's skin, running a hand very lightly along his breast and across his nipple. Zechs was pleased to see that nipple grow instantly hard and a small shiver go over Duo's skin. "Perhaps you should go in now, Duo? Your skin is turning pink and it's hot."  
  
"Uh, yeah, okay," Duo stammered, trying to recover from the unexpected touch. "Don't wait though. I'm still slow getting around and I'm sure you have better things to do that watch me hobble."  
  
Zechs glanced to the distant bungalow and then down at Duo's light frame. "I could carry you."  
  
Duo shook his head. His expression was good-natured, but Zechs saw another flush of embarrassment. "No, thanks. I need the exercise."  
  
"Oh," Zechs grunted. "I understand your hesitation. That would make the servants even more convinced that you are my 'pool boy'."  
  
Duo winced and grinned. "Yeah, that too."  
  
Zechs smiled back, his whitest, most engaging smile. It had its desired effect. Duo looked suddenly dazed. "Now that you're feeling better," Zechs said, "and you've had a chance to take care of personal matters - "  
  
"A bath, you mean," Duo smirked. "You are too polite, Zechs."  
  
"Ah, yes, a bath," Zechs laughed. "Well, since you've had your bath, and being indoors with you would now be a more pleasant activity, would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"  
  
Duo looked at him with narrowed eyes. "To talk?"  
  
Zechs nodded. "Yes, just to talk."  
  
Duo looked pleased. "It has been kind of lonely. Okay, as long as you don't serve any of that fancy aristocratic 'can't tell what it used to be' meals. I like things simple."  
  
"Simple it will be," Zechs agreed. "I look forward to your company."  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't," Duo replied with a glitter in his eyes. "We aren't exactly in the same class, Zechs."  
  
Zechs shrugged and smiled sadly at old memories. "I was always a prince, but I spent most of my life without a kingdom and among soldiers. Soldiers, as a rule, aren't witty in their repartee. I find that preferable."  
  
"Good, because I don't even know what repartee means, Zechs," Duo laughed.  
  
"I rather that you didn't," Zechs replied smoothly. "Dinner is at eight. I will send a servant to escort you."  
  
"Great!" Duo beamed. "You know me and food. Wherever it is, so am I!"  
  
Zechs laughed as well and then he made a curt bow, "Until then," he said and began walking back to the main estate. His thoughts stayed with Duo, though, and he couldn't help a wide smile as much as he tried. You're a fool, he told himself, an idiot falling for the charms of an unstable young man who runs away rather than face life and his own sexuality. It can only end in pain. It can only end with the darkness. Still, Zechs continued to smile, and still he dared to carry the image of a purple-eyed man in his thoughts.  
  
Duo sighed and looked after Zechs. His eyes were riveted on the man's long legs, his tight pair of shorts, and the way his rounded shoulders moved enticingly a he strode away. Duo felt himself starting to heat up and he bit his bottom lip hard. What was he thinking? He wondered. What was he feeling? He couldn't understand any of it.  
  
"As soon as I get well, I'm going to find me the closest, willing woman and get laid," Duo promised himself, but he still looked after Zechs and he couldn't keep his eyes from staring at Zechs' rapidly retreating ass.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
Duo snapped his attention to the servant guiltily. "Uh, hi, Gibson. Did you get that drink, finally?"  
  
Gibson handed it to him and Duo drank down the lemonade in a few gulps. "Anything else, sir?"  
  
Duo handed the man back the glass. "Well, I'm going back inside. Can you give me a hand up?"  
  
Gibson carefully put a hand under Duo's arm and Duo slowly, hissing with pain, made it to his feet. Gibson regarded him without expression, waiting for a new order.  
  
"How long were you standing there, Gibson, before you announced yourself?" Duo wondered.  
  
"Nearly fifteen minutes, sir," Gibson replied without evasion.  
  
Duo had new respect for the man. "You're quiet."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Duo began a slow walk towards the bungalow. Gibson followed at his shoulder. Duo gave him a sideways look. Was that disapproval he saw on Gibson's face? He wondered. "I am not Zechs' 'pool boy'!" Duo retorted.  
  
"No, sir," Gibson responded flatly.  
  
Duo blinked. "Does that mean you understand that I'm not 'doing it' with Zechs or are you arguing with me about it?"  
  
"Sir?" Gibson asked in confusion.  
  
"That's the first expression I've seen on your face," Duo replied sourly. "Never mind."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"I'll need some clothes for tonight." Duo paused and winced, realizing suddenly that this wasn't going to help him convince Gibson, or the other servants, of his non-involvement with Zechs. "I'm going out," he amended lamely and didn't explain further.  
  
"I'll see to a proper wardrobe," Gibson responded.  
  
"Good."  
  
Duo concentrated then on just moving without hurting, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Zechs and the way the man's hair had floated like a white mane behind him and his legs had flexed just so as he had walked. Duo involuntarily touched his breast where Zechs' fingers had brushed him. Duo's sudden heat didn't have anything to do with the sun and he couldn't help the anticipation he felt about seeing the man again that night.   
  
"I guess I'm the freak," Duo muttered.  
  
"Sir?" Gibson replied.  
  
"Never mind, Gibson. Never mind."  
  
+  
  
Wu Fei grumbled to himself about truant dignitaries as he methodically searched the jungle garden for Zechs. Relena had sent him to inquire after her brother's health, badger him for paperwork he had left undone, and to spy on him. After flirting with White Fang, and having a taste of power, Relena didn't trust Zechs to leave the reins of power to her now. She was always wary of plots against her. Zechs always gave Wu Fei a sour taste in his mouth. On the one hand, he couldn't help but respect the man for his abilities, but, on the other hand, his personal life, the sycophants he paraded on his arm and the rumors of full blown bacchanalias in his bed, reminded Wu Fei too much of Treize Khushrenada and his sickeningly sensualist mannerisms. A man should have more honor and self-respect, Wu Fei thought.  
  
Anyone else would have missed it, but Wu Fei was a professional. He saw the odd, darker patch of shadows up ahead in a stand of bushes. It pricked Wu Fei's nerves. That shadow struck him as sinister and out of place. He put a hand to his gun and walked forward on softly treading, silent feet.  
  
Heero Yuy stood in the shadows, eyes watching something further up ahead. His expression was dark, angry, jealous? His emotional preoccupation allowed Wu Fei to get very close, something he wouldn't have even tried back in their war days. In peacetime, Wu Fei thought, Heero was a Preventer, an officer of the law. What he was doing on Zechs' estate, Wu Fei didn't know, but Wu Fei felt safe enough to call out to him.  
  
"See something you like, Yuy?" Wu Fei wondered sarcastically.  
  
Heero whipped about and Wu Fei suddenly found himself with a barrel of a gun, sporting a silencer, pressed to his forehead. He stiffened and swallowed hard. Looking into Heero's furious, glittering, eyes, Wu Fei realized that he had made a possibly fatal miscalculation as Heero pushed him further into the bushes.


	10. Building Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo has dinner with Zechs and Wu Fei isn't going to let Heero go without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Guys talking about having sex with guys. Language. Violence. Graphic. Wu Fei the masochist and maybe not so much of a jerk.

"Heero," Wu Fei said calmly, staring at the barrel of the silencer. "Would you like to tell me what you think you're doing? You do remember that the war is over, don't you?"  
  
"Tell that to Zechs," Heero replied stonily.   
  
"Zechs isn't my friend," Wu Fei said, "and I'm not your enemy. I'm working for Relena now as her Head of Security, but you know that. I've sent you enough messages, messages you didn't answer."  
  
"No point," Heero replied.  
  
Wu Fei frowned sharply. "No point?" he echoed angrily.  
  
Heero's head jerked impatiently. "This conversation is at an end. Try to stop me, or call for security, and I will kill you."  
  
"You won't kill me," Wu Fei replied arrogantly. "It's against your training to kill noncombatants."  
  
Wu Fei dared to slowly reach up and carefully push the gun barrel away from his forehead. Sweat trickled down his sides, but he wasn't a coward. He wasn't sure that his words to Heero were true, but if Heero did try to kill him, Wu Fei intended to die in action, not cowering and begging for his life.  
  
"Answer one question and then I'll pretend that I never saw you," Wu Fei bargained. "It's no business of mine if you want to make trouble for Milliardo Peacecraft."  
  
"It's unnecessary for me to make bargains with you," Heero replied. "I have the advantage."  
  
"Do you?" Wu Fei smirked. "It's true that you have the weapon advantage, but I think I have the mental one."  
  
Heero frowned. "Explain."  
  
"I will, if you answer my question," Wu Fei replied, crossing his arms over his chest and relaxing, as if he had all the time in the world, and he wasn't facing a very dangerous Heero Yuy.  
  
Heero stewed for a moment, but he had a curiosity as keen as his trigger finger. "Ask," he said at last, "but I may not answer."  
  
"All right," Wu Fei replied. "Here's my question. Where's Duo?"  
  
Heero blinked and frowned at the unexpected question. "With Zechs," Heero answered promptly. "Duo was injured and Zechs brought him here."  
  
"Willingly?" Wu Fei asked, knowing the rumors about Zechs' eccentric behavior all too well.  
  
"They seem on friendly terms," Heero remarked, as if that was a truth he would have liked to deny. "I have been observing them for many days now."  
  
Wu Fei studied Heero's stony, blank face. "Did you have reason to believe otherwise?"  
  
"Yes," Heero replied impatiently. "Zechs was our enemy. Duo was injured. Zechs brought Duo to this place in a state that wouldn't have allowed for consent."  
  
"But you think they're friendly now?"  
  
"Yes," Heero bit that out, hand tightening on his gun.  
  
"You're jealous," Wu Fei dared.  
  
Heero glared. "Your assumption is incorrect."  
  
"Then what are you still doing here, in the bushes, now that you know that Duo is staying here willingly?" Wu Fei pointed out.  
  
"I came to reclaim Duo," Heero replied.   
  
"Reclaim him?" Wu Fei went sour. "Why aren't you glad to be rid of him? He was irresponsible, unable to keep a job, and unable to keep his face out of the news. He wasn't worthy of you, Heero. You should leave him where he is." Wu Fei gave their surroundings a distracted glance. "This place suits him; lazy and indolent. He'll thrive on it. Zechs will let him stay as long as he likes, as long as Duo spreads his legs for him, I'm sure."  
  
Heero's fist was suddenly twisted into the front of Wu Fei's uniform, his face burning with fierce, hot emotion. "Duo is not having sexual relations with Zechs!"  
  
Wu Fei tried not to panic. He kept his voice calm. "No? Is he wounded that badly? I'm sure he'll be in Zechs' bed as soon as he's healed, though, don't you think? That's why you kept him in your apartment for so long, after all? It's not like he kept a job long enough to pay his half of the rent. A child of L2 either steals or whores and that's a fact."  
  
Heero's gun came up again and Wu Fei swallowed hard. He had wanted information, but not at the price of his life. He wasn't certain why Heero was reacting so strongly to his words, but he knew he needed to know.   
  
"Duo and I did not have a sexual relationship. I proposed the arrangement to him and he refused," Heero grated out.  
  
Wu Fei was stunned. "You did? That doesn't seem like you, Heero. I pictured Duo taking down that long hair of his and seducing you. He's the one who needs you, after all." The rest of Heero's words penetrated and Wu Fei was startled. "He refused you? Why would he do that? He had everything to gain."  
  
"He stated that he was not homosexual," Heero replied stiffly.  
  
Wu Fei laughed. "That's ridiculous! Of course he is! When we were all together, I remember how he constantly tried to seduce you."  
  
Heero grunted. "You are mistaken. We were partners. We were together only for missions. Not at any time did he make advances towards me of a sexual nature."  
  
Wu Fei quirked a black eyebrow. "Would you have noticed? I seem to remember that you were always on your laptop and planning bombing raids, when you weren't fucking me, that is."  
  
Wu Fei pried Heero's hand off of his uniform. It wasn't easy. He took a step back as memory washed over him, ignoring the gun still aimed at his head. He remembered a mission briefing. Wearing only a white robe with his black hair down, he had quietly sat on the bed of the safe house next to Heero, listening to his precise voice outline a plan. When Heero's voice had stopped, Wu Fei had looked up into Heero's intense blue eyes. What had happened after that was hot, hazy, and shot with memories of pain. Heero had grunted something about needing release, and being efficient about it, so that they could continue the briefing.  
  
Wu Fei, secretly drawn to Heero and hardly believing that he had been propositioned by the young man, had barely given his consent before being pushed down onto the bed on his back. He had been strong, but Heero had been stronger. Wu Fei had gone down in thrashing limbs, but, once pinned to the bed, Heero had completed the act with dispatch, using Wu Fei's body until he orgasmed and then pumping Wu Fei's cock until Wu Fei had come as well. There had been blood, Wu Fei remembered. He had been a virgin and Heero hadn't used anything but spit and his own dripping need to ease the act.  
  
What had followed after that had been the development of a relationship that hadn't been loving, passionate, or even friendly. It had been a relationship of a warrior with a warrior, the missions and perfecting their abilities first and foremost in both their minds. Sex had been a necessary action, as necessary as eating and sleeping, and something to be dispatched and pushed out of the way as quickly as possible. In that Wu Fei had approved, never protesting his submissive role. Heero had been the natural leader and Wu Fei had bowed to that strength.  
  
The cold, efficient Heero Yuy, and the man's complete dedication to the war, had appealed to Wu Fei at every level. Instead of being repulsed by Heero's almost machine like personality, Wu Fei had found in him a kindred, warrior spirit, instead, an honorable, worthy partner for him. Being with Heero during the war, had been the highlight of Wu Fei's life, a time when he had felt at his very best, spiritually and physically.   
  
After the war, when all the Gundam pilots had been at loose ends, uncertain how to lead normal lives, Heero had proceeded without a break in stride, becoming a Preventer and continuing the role of warrior that Wu Fei had found so appealing. Wu Fei had tried to join him and continue their relationship, but Heero had sensed a new, emotional attraction from him and had denied Wu Fei a place at his side. Heero hadn't wanted a relationship, only a quick fuck to keep his sexual urges from interfering with his job. He hadn't wanted Wu Fei living with him and trying to make it more than that. Wu Fei had been hurt, and surprised, that Heero had known him so little to believe that he would have done something like that. Even now, his role as a warrior, as Relena's bodyguard, was far more important than anything else in Wu Fei's life. Like Heero, he had shunned relationships to pursue perfection.  
  
Wu Fei had missed Heero and, on several occasions, had tried to get together with the man hoping for, if nothing more, than to feel Heero's strong arms around him again and the pain/pleasure of being claimed completely by the only man he considered his equal. When he had heard that Duo had been the one to worm his way into Heero's apartment, Wu Fei had feared the worst. He could imagine the smaller ex-pilot being easy prey for Heero's personality and strength. Controlling such a weak individual, to give him the release he needed, would have been ridiculously simple for a man like Heero.  
  
To now discover that Duo had been allowed to remain with Heero, even without the reason of sex or the ability to share the expenses, was far more threatening to Wu Fei. It insinuated a deeper reason that Heero had wished to keep the ex pilot of Deathscythe with him, a reason Wu Fei didn't want to accept. Duo Maxwell was not worthy of Heero Yuy. Wu Fei didn't want to believe that Heero could fall so far from perfection as to have feelings for such a braided fool.   
  
Wu Fei peered through the bushes. The lawn was empty. If Duo or Zechs had been there, they were gone now. He turned back to Heero and once again reached out and moved the gun aside. "I told you that you were at a disadvantage mentally with me. Come with me, have a drink and I'll tell you why. You have the time. I doubt that Duo is going anywhere soon if Zechs is keeping him as his pet."  
  
Heero was suspicious. Wu Fei was glad that Heero hadn't forgotten the way of the warrior even in peacetime. As he watched Heero consider his offer, he tried to see the man he had known in war time, the man who couldn't stand a puzzle unsolved or information unknown, the man who wouldn't fail in his mission of seeking perfection for anyone. He needed desperately to see that man in Heero again and to reassure himself that he still had an equal in the world.  
  
Wu Fei couldn't help the feeling of relief when Heero suddenly grunted agreement, even when Heero added in a cold, deadly voice, "Reveal me in any way to security and I'll blow your head off before I escape."  
  
Wu Fei smiled. "Of course. I didn't expect anything else."  
  
+  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, but Prince Peacecraft will be late arriving for dinner," the servant said apologetically. "He has directed me to serve dinner, if you are hungry and don't wish to wait, and to provide you with any amusement you desire."  
  
Duo, sitting in a high backed, leather chair by the flickering fireplace of the well appointed room, sighed and opened the collar of his red dress coat. "I'll wait until he arrives, but I will need a drink and some snacks."  
  
"We have fine, imported wines, liqueurs, brandy... anything sir wishes."  
  
"Sir doesn't drink," Duo said with an easy smile. "I'll have some fruit juice and… I don't know, any kind of appetizer you can think of. I'm not real picky when it comes to food."  
  
"Yes, sir. I will have it sent shortly." The servant bowed stiffly and withdrew, closing thick, double doors behind him.   
  
"Sir COULD use a drink though," Duo muttered as he thumped his feet, in black ankle boots, up on an ottoman and surveyed the room irritably.  
  
In a white, button down shirt with ruffled sleeves, a red coat that looked more like a uniform jacket, and black pants with a red stripe down the side of each leg, Duo had felt completely over dressed. He had wanted to protest the clothes and send for something else, something dark and more suited to Shinigami, but Gibson had brought the clothes so late, that Duo hadn't had any time to get something else.  
  
Duo was almost certain that Gibson had been late on purpose, expecting a rebellion. Now, surrounded by a huge mansion, extremely expensive furnishings, and the prospect of having dinner in the opulent dining room he had passed on the way, Duo was feeling glad that Gibson had been so devious. Even in the clothes he had on now, Duo was still feeling underdressed and intimidated. The intimidated part bothered Duo the most. He didn't like to feel that he wasn't good enough for the chair he was sitting in, but he had felt that way often about so much in his life.  
  
A street kid from L2 couldn't look anywhere but up, the saying went, and Duo still felt that to be true about himself. Digging food out of garbage cans, and making his bed on the cracked concrete floors of abandoned buildings, hadn't been very good for building self-esteem. Now he was surrounded by riches, waited on hand and foot by servants, and his company was appreciated by a man whose motives he suspected, but whom Duo respected nonetheless. It was too much like a dream, too much like everything Duo had ever dreamed of. It couldn't last, he thought, something had to sour it sooner or later. That's the way his life had been up until then. There wasn't any reason for it to change now. He would screw up eventually, Zechs would get tired of him, or Zechs would do something that Duo couldn't accept, something he would have to run away from.  
  
That last thought was odd and Duo frowned. Run away from what? Was he really afraid that Zechs wouldn't take no for an answer? Duo had made it clear that he wasn't gay and that he didn't want Zechs to proposition him. That should be enough, he thought, he shouldn't be afraid of Zechs ignoring his wishes. Zechs was intelligent, rich, and eligible. He didn't need to pursue someone who didn't want him. There were enough willing men and women to take Duo's place. So, Duo thought, why was he still feeling nervous about the man? Why did he still feel that he needed to be prepared to defend himself and what was he thinking he needed to defend against? The gun in the holster at the back of his pants was a cold comfort to him and he didn't know why.   
  
Duo ran a distracted hand through his bangs and sighed, "Maybe I shouldn't have stopped seeing that psychologist..."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
Duo started. "Gibson!" he snarled as he jerked his ribs painful to turn and look at the man. "You're going to get yourself killed if you keep sneaking up on me like that!"  
  
Gibson didn't change expression. He didn't look afraid, only his usual blank, slightly judgmental, self. He was holding a tray with a drink and some meat rolled into baked bread and stuffed with some sort of green filling. "Sorry, sir. I brought you appetizers."  
  
Gibson placed the tray on a table next to Duo, close enough where Duo didn't have to strain himself to reach it. "Thanks, man, but... never mind! Your funeral!" Duo snapped as he grabbed a roll and bit into it. It was warm and tasted like melted butter, garlic, and herbs. "Mmmmm," Duo said around his mouthful. "Th's 's g'd!"  
  
"Yes, sir. I'll inform the cook that you are pleased," Gibson replied stiffly. "If sir needs me, I shall be just outside. Sir has his pager?"  
  
Duo touched the touch pad in his jacket pocket. "Right here. Thanks, Gibson. Sorry, I'm just not used to, uh, servants hovering around all the time. I guess I still don't know how to act."  
  
"Understandable, sir. Think nothing of it." The words should have been reassuring, but Duo frowned at the tone. Gibson definitely did not approve of him. It heightened Duo's sense of insecurity. It was bad enough to have to deal with such attentive, ever present servants, but to have them not respect him was troubling to Duo. It gave him an unpleasant sense that he was still a street rat waiting for a handout from the master of the house, and that the servants were watching him in case he stole something.  
  
Duo felt depression grip him as Gibson left the room and closed the doors behind him. Left with the rich furnishings, the fine food, and his borrowed clothes, Duo began to feel very critical of himself and unaccountably sad. His thoughts turned to Zechs again. How could he ever hope to be that man's equal? A Gundam pilot. A military officer. A wealthy man. Prince of the Sanq kingdom. Brother of Relena Peacecraft, Queen of everything on Earth and in Outer Space. The man was the definition of 'accomplishment'. Duo was only an orphan of L2, a thief who had stolen his one accomplishment in life rather than had it offered to him. He had stolen Deathscythe and stolen glory, holding it tight for only a brief amount of time and then releasing it and becoming once again, nothing, forgotten, a young man who couldn't keep his life in order or keep Heero Yuy from beating the crap out of him.  
  
Pathetic, Duo labeled himself, and Pet, he added derisively: the novelty of a wealthy man who needed a distraction and an amusement. Duo would never believe that Zechs' interest was more than that. Street trash didn't really become friends of princes. Princes played with them and then threw them back in the garbage where they belonged. In that large, well appointed room, nothing belonging to him, his future a blank, empty of possibilities, and pain still gnawing at his insides, Duo curled up in the chair, knees tucked in and arms wrapped around his aching middle. He cushioned his head on the soft leather arm of the chair and felt a few tears sliding down his cheeks. Really pathetic, he thought, but couldn't help himself.

+

Zechs entered the study, pulling off his blue coat and tossing it over the back of a chair. He paused in the act of loosening the collar of his shirt when he noticed that Duo Maxwell was asleep in it.  
  
A sleeping Gundam pilot was a dangerous thing, but Zechs moved closer and studied the sleeping young man. Duo looked pale, his lips tight, and there were some glistening droplets on his cheeks. Those drops caught the firelight like diamonds. Tears?  
  
Zechs wondered briefly if Duo had been crying because Zechs had broken their dinner engagement, but then rejected that notion as self-centered. They both had a darkness inside of them, a darkness made up of memories and depression; a darkness that took advantage of quiet, contemplative moments to bloom and take control. A few hours alone was more than enough time to, perhaps, trigger some unpleasant reminiscing.  
  
"Duo," Zechs called out softly.  
  
Duo twitched and drew his gun before his eyes were completely open. Zechs looked down the barrel, waiting with held breath until sense entered those amethyst eyes and Duo recognized him.  
  
The young man turned irritable. "Finally!" Duo grunted. He reholstered his gun as he gingerly sat up and yawned. That yawn made his ribs catch. He hissed and held them. "I think I need a second opinion, Zechs!" he groaned. "These ribs should be healing, but they still hurt like Hell!"  
  
Zechs backed away and went to the fireplace. He stirred it with a metal poker. Duo sleeping had seemed like a sweet innocent. Duo awake was abrasive and Zechs was too tired to want to deal with it. He gave Duo his silence and waited for the ex-pilot to become completely awake and regain his civility.  
  
"Uhm, sorry, Zechs," Duo finally said. "You look beat. I shouldn't be complaining right now."  
  
Zechs forced himself to relax and turn to Duo with a sympathetic smile. "There's nothing wrong about being concerned for your health. You've done little enough of that in the past."  
  
The other chairs in the room were too far away. Zechs picked one up and moved it closer. Sitting on the edge, he faced Duo. "I've done some field medicine. Unbutton your coat and shirt and I'll look at your ribs. The way you've refused to lie still in bed, I wouldn't be surprised it you've managed to strain the breaks out of position."  
  
Duo scowled. "I've been very careful, Nurse Zechs," he snapped back. "You're servants have done everything short of wipe my ass. I think they would do that too if I gave the order."  
  
Zechs gave Duo a level look. Duo looked down uncomfortably as Zechs said, "I know how intrusive servants can be, but in my position they are necessary. You are more fortunate. Once you're better, and able to do things for yourself, you can dispose of them."  
  
Duo wiped at his face, suddenly remembering that he had fallen asleep crying. He could feel a wetness there and hoped that Zechs hadn't noticed it. "Being alone isn't so hot either sometimes," Duo replied, "but I think I'll be glad not to have old Gibson tagging along on my heels."  
  
Zechs reached out and began unbuttoning Duo's red coat. The color suited the ex-pilot. It was a warm contrast to his chestnut hair. "Are you having trouble with Gibson? I can have him replaced."  
  
"Wouldn't matter,"' Duo replied with unconcealed bitterness as he watched Zechs' long fingers work the buttons of his coat, wondering why he wasn't trying to stop him. Zechs' attitude was so matter-of-fact though, a man doing another man a favor with nothing intimate implied that Duo felt comfortable not protesting. He had been worrying about his ribs. He did want it confirmed that they were healing well. Liar, a voice deep down said, but Duo ignored it and buried it deeper.  
  
"Why wouldn't changing servants matter?" Zechs wondered as he opened Duo's coat and then began to unbutton the white shirt underneath. The material was thinner, Zechs' fingers much more noticeable. He bent a little and Duo found himself looking down onto the top of the man's white hair and down along the back of his white dress shirt. Zechs' shoulders filled it out nicely. Duo found himself very interested in that fact and the way Zechs' neck made a strong line down into his open collar. He felt a distinct urge to touch the man's skin, to see if it felt as good as it looked.  
  
"Why wouldn't changing servants matter?" Zechs repeated and looked up at Duo with his clear, blue eyes.  
  
"They think I'm servant material, not master material, I'm sure," Duo managed to reply, swallowing hard and confused by his reaction to Zechs. Was he so desperate to get laid that even another man looked appealing? Duo wondered. Is this the way that Heero had felt towards him? Duo pushed that thought violently from his mind. He didn't want to think about Heero just then. He didn't want to remember the man's rough hands separating his ass and the helpless fear he had felt. Zechs wasn't Heero. This wasn't a rape, he told himself firmly. Zechs only wanted to help him.  
  
"I think you are needlessly concerned about their opinion of you," Zechs said at last, "and being in pain, and irritated by your dependency on them, you may be misinterpreting how they regard you."  
  
"Yeah, I guess, " Duo replied noncommittally, not really wanting to talk about that subject.  
  
Duo held himself still as Zechs finished opening his shirt and reached to pull down the cloth brace around his ribs. It hurt like fire. Duo bit his lip hard, not wanting to end up crying like a girl. As Zechs' firm fingers checked the broken ribs, Duo felt a distinct lack of reluctance on his part. Heero's touch had been repulsive and unwanted. For some reason that Duo didn't understand, Zechs' touch wasn't either of those things.  
  
"They are still healing well," Zechs said at last and pulled up the brace. He methodically began buttoning Duo's shirt again.  
  
Duo clamped down hard on a feeling of disappointment. It was almost as if he had wanted Zechs to keep touching him, to maybe go further than touch. It shocked Duo. He retreated into his patented attitude as he purposefully pushed Zechs' hands off. "I can button my own shirt, Mom."  
  
Zechs nodded with a tight smile and sat back in his chair. He found himself gripping the chair arms hard and wishing he had the concealment of his coat. It had taken all of his strength not to crush his face against Duo's breast and suckle his incomparable, luscious pink nipples, and all of his willpower not to run hands down into Duo's pants, bring out that young man's, sweet cock, the one he had touched, but not yet tasted, and ravished him completely.   
  
Zechs calmed himself with an effort, knowing his pale skin was flushed red. He thought about his meeting with Relena's representatives, the insulting questions about his loyalty thinly veiled in civility, the paperwork and the schedule of boring meetings and functions they had all but ordered him to attend. It had the desired effect. Zechs felt his pulse slow and bitterness take away the sting of passion. When he looked at Duo again, he was calm and controlled and Duo looked oblivious to his troubled mind.  
  
"Thanks," Duo said as he finished his buttons. "Did you get to eat?"  
  
"No," Zechs replied, feeling hungry for something other than food.   
  
"I had a snack," Duo said. "I decided to wait for dinner until you came. I didn't realize it would take you so long."  
  
"I didn't expect you to be waiting for me when I returned," Zechs replied. He pushed his pale hair back behind his shoulders and then sank back into his chair, trying to relax, trying not to think about how much of an advantage he had over the weaker Duo Maxwell. That was the soldier in him, Zechs realized, and the darkness.  
  
"I didn't have anything else to do," Duo admitted and felt as if he had just laid the complete summation of himself at Zechs' feet. He didn't have anything, he didn't have work, and he didn't have anywhere else to go. A waste of space, Duo thought bitterly, but tried to hide that bitterness by raising his old, happy go lucky mask. "I didn't want to miss some great food," Duo added in a humorous tone, "or a chance to get out of that bungalow."  
  
Zechs looked at the two empty trays on the table beside Duo. "Are you still hungry?"  
  
"Always," Duo smirked. "Am I going to get to see that fancy dining room after all?"  
  
"No," Zechs replied and watched Duo have a moment of uncertainty before he added, "I'll have it brought here."  
  
Duo brightened and Zechs thought, I'm not reading him wrong. He's interested in me. Zechs had seduced many men and women. He was aware of his own good looks and he knew how to use it to his advantage. The darkness in him demanded that he use it, demanded that he cast aside Duo's objections and take what he wanted from the young man. A virgin, that voice said to Zechs, a tight, sweet, innocent virgin. To let loose that flow of chestnut hair and to lift those legs to claim the place between them... It was as simple as reaching out, taking hold of the smaller man, and giving him the pleasure Zechs could masterfully impart.  
  
Duo watched as conflict flickered over Zechs' face. He almost said something, almost reassured himself by putting a hand on his gun. He didn't like the way Zechs' eyes were riveted on him. It looked too much like a cat deciding whether it should devour a mouse or not, too much like the way Heero had looked at him.  
  
"Uh, maybe we should just forget it," Duo said and faked a yawn. "It feels late and I'm sure you'd rather be left alone to rest after dealing with Relena - "  
  
Zechs' muscles had tightened, getting ready to grab Duo. That kittenish yawn, that opening of Duo's mouth, and the memory of slipping himself into that moist warmth between his lips had stripped away all of Zechs' self control. The mention of Relena had brought it back with a vengeance, as if Duo's words had been a bucket of ice water emptied on his head.   
  
Zechs floundered and then recovered. Duo was once again, a young man sitting before him, a potential friend who was eyeing him suspiciously and with confusion. Duo wasn't an aristocratic whore he had picked up at a party. If he hoped for something more than sex from Duo Maxwell, Zechs thought, then he had to control that part of himself that wanted instant gratification and to escape the darkness at any cost, even if that cost was... Zechs reined his thoughts in, surprised at himself. What was he thinking? Did he want a relationship with Duo? Was he finally going to admit it to himself?  
  
"Uh, Zechs?" Duo prompted. He started to get up, a hand pressed to his side. "I'll get Gibson and leave you to your thoughts. It must not have been a good meeting. Sorry to bring it up."  
  
"Wait," Zechs said quickly, coming back to himself. "You don't have to go, Duo." He recovered with an effort, pulling his pager out of his pocket and summoning a servant. When Gibson appeared, Zechs ordered, "Dinner for two. Bring it here."  
  
"Yes, sir," Gibson replied properly and Duo sourly saw the deference he gave Zechs, the deference that had been lacking in his dealings with Duo.  
  
When Gibson had left, Zechs settled back in his chair and motioned Duo to do the same. "Now, tell me how you knew my meeting had been with representatives of Relena."  
  
Duo found a grin, though he was still wary of Zechs changing moods. "Well, servants gossip and one mentioned to another that they had seen Wu Fei." Duo faked a feminine voice. "Oh, how handsome!" He chuckled and Zechs smiled. "I know Wu Fei works for Relena, so I just assumed he had escorted her la-de-da person here or at least some of her hangers-on. When you were late, I put two and two together. I'm a genius, right?"  
  
"La-de-da person?" Zechs laughed and he felt himself relaxing. Duo looked so young and mischievous just then, he couldn't help but be amused. The lust and passion were still there underneath the surface, but Zechs felt the darkness receding, put to flight by an ex-pilot's good humor and his own fearful realization that his relationship with Duo had changed.  
  
"Yes, I did have a meeting with Relena's representatives," Zechs admitted, "and no, it didn't go well. Your powers of deduction are amazing," he joked and Duo laughed. It was beautiful, that laugh, Zechs thought, and infectious. He didn't want to ruin the sudden good humor by continuing a conversation that wasn't pleasant. He wanted to hear Duo's laughter some more.  
  
Zechs rose from his chair and took an embroidered blanket from the back of the leather couch nearby. He spread it out before the fire. It was deep brown and crimson red, an embroidery of renaissance designs done in gold. The thing was an antique and worth a small fortune in the gold needlework alone. Zechs threw the couch pillows on top of it and then turned to Duo.  
  
"Do you think this will be comfortable for you?" Zechs asked. "There isn't a table wide enough in here for the meal I had prepared for you."  
  
"A late night picnic?" Duo wondered with an even wider grin. "I didn't know you could be so spontaneous, Zechs. I guess I was dreading the dining room anyway," he admitted. "I never had much of a chance to eat at a table when I was growing up, or as a Gundam pilot. The floor is much more what I'm used to."  
  
Zechs noted a tinge of self-recrimination in Duo's tone. "My table has usually been my lap on campaigns and in makeshift barracks," Zechs replied. "The dining room intimidates me as well."  
  
Zechs was rewarded by a look of gratitude. He felt a warmth inside at that acknowledgment of kindness. Zechs realized then that it had been far too long since he had dropped his guard and not used every word that came out of his mouth to fence with some aristocrat or ambassador.  
  
"Do you need help?" Zechs wondered solicitously.  
  
"I'm not an invalid!" Duo snapped without real anger. "I can get around... just slowly."  
  
"Of course," Zechs replied and backed away.  
  
It was slow, the way Duo eased himself out of the chair and onto the floor, but he did accomplish it without too many groans and gasps of pain. Settling against a pillow, he closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them as he smiled at Zechs. "Mission accomplished."  
  
Zechs settled close by, putting a pillow in his lap to rest on, but also to hide any visible sign that Duo was exciting him again. The young man's flushed face, his bright eyes, and the creamy line of his neck plunging into his dress shirt collar as he reclined back on his pillow, was unintentionally provocative.  
  
They talked then, about the war, about their lives, about the food when it came. Duo laughed, joked, and admitted to his confusion about how to lead his life. Zechs said things he had never said to anyone, his fear before a battle, his grief at so many lives lost, the agony of going mad because of the Zero system. Duo had listened intently, drinking in every word Zechs uttered and, in the end, offering some forgiveness; forgiveness Zechs didn't think he deserved.  
  
"You did go mad," Duo said softly, "and it caused you to attack and kill people. I had a taste of the Zero system too. I know how it feels and what it can make a man do. I hated you, you know, but... I can understand how it could happen, how your mind was twisted. I-I don't hate you anymore, Zechs."  
  
Zechs had felt his heart clench at those words. So many people hated him and wanted him dead for what he had done. That the one man who mattered most to him was willing to forget that hate... Mattered most. Zechs turned those two words over and over in his head, trying one last time to escape the truth. It was futile. His heart had fallen, stolen by an impish young man with an impossibly long braid.  
  
They were very close. Duo's skin was glowing and warm from the fire of the fireplace. He was smiling softly at Zechs, his body stretched out against pillows next to the food, a glass of some juice in one hand. Zechs lost his willpower all in an instant. He leaned forward very slowly, very hesitantly, and then kissed Duo's silken lips. It was brief, that kiss, but the shock of it seemed to jolt the both of them as something passed between them, an indefinable soul meeting soul joining that was more intense than anything either of them had ever felt before.  
  
Duo shivered, closed his eyes, and breathed in Zechs' unique spicy scent as his lips tasted Zechs' lips and found them sweet and compelling. It was only a moment, a moment of total surrender, and then the moment was past and Duo was staring at a man who was kissing him, an ex-enemy, an unknown personality with unknown objectives, but first and foremost, a man!  
  
Duo recoiled, turning flaming red in embarrassment. "Shit, Zechs!" Duo exclaimed. "You said you wouldn't do that! I told you, I'm not gay! Why did you have to ruin everything?"  
  
Zechs went cold and furious as he leapt to his feet, fists clenched. He had never been so humiliated and rejected in his life! Duo had responded! He had kissed him back! The damn tease! The damn, L2 street rat! It was a moment before Zechs registered Duo's shocked, red face, and realized that he had said those words out loud.  
  
"Fuck you!" Duo exploded. "I didn't ask for that!" He surged to his feet, crying out at the pain, clutching his ribs, but ignoring it all as he turned on his training and pumped his blood full of adrenaline. "Guess now I know what you really think of me," he said through gritted teeth. "Guess I always knew, deep down."  
  
Duo staggered to the door as Zechs watched him, still furious, but beginning to feel a coldness overtake him, the coldness of loss. He was losing Duo. He had said things that could never be taken back or forgiven. A voice screamed for him to try, to say something before Duo went through that door. The darkness was stronger. It whispered to Zechs that it was what he deserved, playing with street trash, imagining that he could love or be loved by even someone like that.  
  
Duo threw open the doors of the study. "Gibson!" Duo shouted between pants of pain. "I'm getting out of here!" He threw over his shoulder back at Zechs. "Nice party, Zechs, but I think I'll stick with the other rats from now on."  
  
Duo was gone then and Zechs was left staring at an empty doorway. With a cry of fury and self-loathing, Zechs turned and rammed a fist into the wall.


	11. The Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Guys absolutely having sex with guys...a lot... graphically, violently, romantically. Language. Violence. Happily ever after, SAAAAAPPPY ending definitely.

Duo sat limply in the passenger seat as Gibson drove the small cart back towards the bungalow.  
  
"Didn't go very well, sir," Gibson said.  
  
"Duh!" Duo snapped back and hunched in on himself, hating the grinding pain in his ribs and his heart. One he could understand. The other, he didn't. Why should his heart hurt? Was Zechs' friendship, his opinion of him, so important? Zechs had only said what Duo knew already. The man thought he was a low life. The kiss had probably been leading up to a full-blown rape on the library floor. Zechs had probably thought, 'An L2 rat, why not use him?'  
  
Duo saw in his memory Zechs' shocked, blue eyes when he, Duo, had pulled away from the kiss. Duo recalled his own words to Zechs, the harshness, the condemnation, and the rejection. Zechs' expression had not been one a man would have worn who had been contemplating rape and degradation. His expression had been one of a jilted suitor. The very thought made Duo shiver and recoil. The very idea that Zechs could be in love with him, could want to romance him, and could suffer a broken heart because of his, Duo's, rejection seemed out of the realm of possibility.  
  
Duo bit his lip hard, remembering the warm taste of Zechs' lips on his. He had panicked, he thought bitterly, pure and simple, and what had made him panic had been his own body's reaction to Zechs. Duo remembered the heat between his legs, the electric charge of 'want' that had gone through him, something he had never felt with any woman. 'But I'm not gay!' Duo thought to himself, feeling the panic rising again. He tried to reason with himself. Of course he had reacted to Zechs. He was still a damned virgin when most young men scored with their first girl at fifteen and sixteen! That had to be all it was, frustrated hormones needing an outlet of any kind. That still didn't explain why his heart hurt so much, though, and why he felt a gnawing sense of loss in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Both mind and body screamed at him to go back to Zechs and make up. It frightened him how empty and alone he felt, thrust out into the cold when he had just discovered... what? What had he discovered? Did he really want to admit what it was to himself? If he went back to Zechs now, Duo knew he would have to start facing up to reality. He wouldn't be able to escape the truth any longer. Duo found that he couldn't bear that. He didn't have the strength or the courage for truth. He always ran when things became tough. Now wasn't going to be an exception.  
  
"Stop!" Duo said suddenly.  
  
Gibson braked the cart and Duo slid out of the passenger seat. One of the servant girls, pert and blonde, was walking along a lighted path to the servant quarters, yawning and looking exhausted. She brightened when she saw Duo come out of the darkness. Duo remembered her name.  
  
"Karen? Want some company?"  
  
"Mr. Maxwell!" Karen beamed and looked very coquettish. It was a thin veil over a lustful pose and a gleaming set of brown eyes that gave Duo a practiced, appreciative once over. When her eyes lingered on his crotch, Duo nervously took that as a signal that Karen was easy and that she wanted to be easy with him.  
  
"Why don't we go for a little walk?" Duo suggested, hooking an arm in hers and smelling her cloying perfume.  
  
Duo hid a grimace as Karen pressed her soft body up against his. He had a shadowy view of her cleavage as she replied sensuously. "That would be very nice, Mr. Maxwell."  
  
Duo forced a grin. "You can call me, Duo."  
  
"Duo," she repeated and giggled.  
  
Duo threw back over his shoulder at Gibson, not really caring what the damned snobbish servant did, "Go on ahead to the bungalow, Gibson. I'll be back later."  
  
"Sir," Gibson replied in disgust, not even hiding it now.  
  
Duo ignored it as he led Karen off of the path and took a small dirt path into a garden illuminated by only small, knee high lanterns on hooks. Alone now, Karen dropped all pretense of innocence. She grinned and slid her hand down the back of Duo's pants saying, "Let's find a nice, soft spot, okay?"   
  
+  
  
"You are wasting time," Heero grated as he knocked back a shot of whiskey and eyed Wu Fei's sparse, impersonal room as if it might be hiding security men.  
  
Wu Fei smiled as he refilled Heero's glass, filled his own shot glass, and then sat down on the couch. Putting the bottle of whiskey aside on the side table, he half-turned to face Heero. Heero was sipping at his second shot, wanting a clear head for anything that might happen. "Wasting time?" Wu Fei repeated. "Whose time, Heero? Not mine. My shuttle doesn't leave for the Sanq Kingdom until tomorrow afternoon. Wasting your time? It seems that you are the one who's wasting your own time. Instead of working with the Preventers, perfecting your self, and furthering your position, you're chasing after a braided fool and considering revenge on an old enemy. You've lost focus, Heero. That's why, mentally, I have the upper hand. I don't have base emotions making me weak, making me forget my priorities."  
  
Heero suddenly knocked back the second glass, brows coming down in a frown.  
  
"Look at you!" Wu Fei sneered. "Do you want to stick it to Duo so bad you can't control yourself?!"  
  
Heero threw the glass at Wu Fei's head. Wu Fei ducked easily. Heero's nostrils flared as he stood up as stiff as a tin soldier, face angry and... confused. "I don't understand! Explain this behavior to me. Why am I reacting this way? Why is my training not working?!" "How long have you gone without sexual release?" Wu Fei demanded coolly. When Heero rattled off the days, the weeks, Wu Fei raised a knowing eyebrow. He reached out and grabbed Heero by the front of his clothes. He pulled the man close, hard. "Get rid of the sexual tension first, and then we can discuss this matter further."  
  
Heero grabbed Wu Fei in return, his fingers like vises. They stood like that, facing each other, eyes boring into eyes, and then Heero growled, "Unacceptable. Discovery could come at any time. This is too dangerous."  
  
Wu Fei smirked. "Get your head out of the war, Heero. Unless you murdered a few security men getting onto the estate grounds, I doubt anyone cares whether you're here or not. Besides, I have perimeter alarms set up on this room. There're enough ex-Oz soldiers with a grudge who want me dead. That's why I remain a careful man."  
  
"And if you're the one who is my enemy?" Heero demanded. Wu Fei smiled as he loosed a hand and stripped the tie holding his black hair at the nape of his neck. His hair tumbled down onto his shoulders, straight and shinning. "You don't have to undress, Heero, and you can keep your gun in you hand. I'll relieve both of our needs."  
  
Without waiting for Heero to agree, Wu Fei was already opening Heero's pants. He took Heero into his warm hands and then sank down onto his knees. He would be quick, Wu Fei thought, and efficient, but he would make Heero remember his skill and make him forget about an inexperienced, unwilling Duo Maxwell.  
  
+  
  
Zechs threw himself down into the chair that Duo had been sleeping in. It still smelled like the ex-pilot, faintly of some herbal shampoo and a scent uniquely Duo's, fresh breezes and a hint of something indescribable. That unique scent prickled through Zechs' brain, speaking to him, taunting him, making mind and body ache and want Duo Maxwell like Zechs had never wanted anything else before in his life. It wasn't even about sex anymore and, he realized, the kiss that had turned so disastrous hadn't been about sex either.  
  
His hand was bleeding, skin ripped and bruised. Zechs ignored it as he punched the button of his pager. A nervous servant appeared and Zechs had him fetch a strong drink. The man asked timidly if Zechs wanted bandages or a physician.  
  
"No," Zechs replied. He didn't deserve either, he felt.  
  
The drink came almost at once. Zechs dismissed the servant with chilly politeness. As soon as the door shut behind the man, Zechs opened the bottle with his good hand and then drank it straight, without a glass. Drown yourself, the darkness within him mocked, maybe it will kill you this time.  
  
Duo's sick, shocked expression played over and over in Zechs' memory. He hid his eyes behind his injured hand, as if he could shut it out that way, but it was futile. His pride had been injured, but Zechs knew that hadn't been the reason that he had exploded at Duo. It was his heart that had taken an unexpected stab, an unfurling love that had been crushed under the heel of Duo's rejection. Zechs wanted to hate Duo, to justify to himself that everything he had shouted at the young man had been true and right to say, but that memory of Duo's expression wouldn't allow Zechs to fool himself that way. That expression had told Zechs what Duo had been unable to say, to admit to. Duo was in love with him too. Zechs was sure of it.  
  
Duo's only crime had been to be afraid, to be unsure, and to be what he was, a young man trying to understand himself, to understand what it was he wanted from Zechs and the world. His pushing Zechs away with angry words had only been an awkward plea to be given more time to understand what was happening between them.   
  
"I have been patient with so many things in my life," Zechs grated. "How many years did I wait for the Sanq Kingdom? How many years did I wait until Relena grew old enough to lead the pacifist movement? How many years did I play lackey to Treize and plan the day of peace for everyone? Why, then, is it so hard to back off and be patient with Duo? Why can't I wait for him to come to me, to want me, and to understand himself enough to accept me?"  
  
Zechs knew the answer. The darkness cruelly whispered it to him. None of the other things in his life had involved his heart. Nothing had ever touched his soul the way Duo had. Zechs couldn't help from wanting Duo in every way and, inundated with aristocratic whores and willing sycophants all of his life, Zechs was ill prepared to control a desire for instant gratification. Romance was a skill he had never needed to learn.   
  
Zechs looked hard at the bottle of drink in his hand. Deliberately, he set it down on a side table. It wasn't the time to drink, he thought, he had a battle to win: a battle for Duo's heart. A battle against the dragging darkness that bade him, 'Do nothing. You are not worthy'. That darkness wanted to make him believe that he was defeated already, that he didn't have a chance to win Duo back to him.   
  
The Lightning Count refused to admit defeat. He refused to lose the battle, to be brought down by his imagined failings and foolish mistakes. He knew infinite patience in battle. He could and would employ that patience now. Duo was his battle. He couldn't think of it any other way and hope to succeed.  
  
"Byron!" Zechs called sharply, knowing the man was waiting outside the door for just such a call.  
  
The door opened and the servant looked in with a lifted eyebrow. "I'm going out. Have a cart ready at the front door. I don't want a driver."  
  
"Sir," the servant replied without question.  
  
Zechs rose from his chair in one fluid motion. Grabbing up his coat, he slipped into it as he walked towards the front door of the house. Cultured, reasonable arguments formed in Zechs' head as he walked, his words his weapons, tried and true. He had cut his teeth on diplomacy and Duo was an uncultured boy from L2. He didn't have any hope of standing up against Zechs...  
  
Zechs stopped dead in his tracks. He was facing a large, round table dominating the foyer of the house. On it was a blue vase filled with purple hyacinths the exact color of Duo's eyes.   
  
"Stupid!" Zechs' growled at himself. "Duo won't fall for your tricks. He's not naive!"   
  
Zechs snatched the hyacinths out of the vase and made a bundle of them in his arms. Duo wanted the truth, not pretty, trick phrases from a glib politician's mouth. Zechs knew that Duo wouldn't listen to anything else at that point but the truth.  
  
A servant was watching Zechs in trepidation. When he saw that Zechs noticed him, he went pale, stammering, "The cart is here, sir."  
  
"Thank you," Zechs replied offhandedly as he swept past the man and out of the front door, not caring what the man thought of him. Sliding into the driver's seat of the car, Zechs put the flowers on the seat beside him and then just sat, deep in thought. Something was wrong and it didn't take Zechs more than a few moments to know what that was.   
  
Zechs whispered to himself, "There needs to be a goal, a prize, a reason for every battle. I need to state what that is or I will not win this."  
  
Zechs gathered himself and his resolve and admitted out loud what he knew in his heart, admitted what he was willing to fight and change his life for. Distinctly and loudly he said, "I love Duo Maxwell."

+  
  
Duo cupped the woman's breasts and sank his nose into her cleavage. She giggled as she boldly put a hand on his crotch and rubbed. "You're beautiful," Karen murmured into Duo's ear and nipped the lobe. "I wanted you since I first saw you."  
  
She was so soft against him, Duo thought, so delicate seeming, but hot to the touch. A distinct, female scent was coming to him. He breathed it in, expecting it to give him the same reaction that he had felt with Zechs, a strong, sudden need and all encompassing possessiveness that told him, 'Here was his mate'. When nothing happened, Duo felt panic begin to set in.  
  
Karen felt something change. She pushed Duo flat onto his back in the soft loam of the garden and climbed on top. She kept her face pressed close to his and then ground her pelvis against his... well, he didn't have an erection, Duo thought, panicking some more, and her erotic movements weren't even making him begin one.  
  
"What's wrong, baby?" Karen asked petulantly. "Don't be nervous. This can't be your first time, can it?" Duo didn't say anything his face turning twenty shades of red and glad of the dim light. She smiled against his cheek. "It is, isn't it?" she purred now and said, "Don't worry, Mr. Maxwell, I'll get your flag to fly."  
  
Karen began a slow rubbing movement of her body as she moved lower and lower, until she reached Duo's pelvis. When expert hands began unzipping Duo's fly, he found himself grabbing Karen's hands and pulling them away.  
  
"I-I..." Duo fumbled for the words he didn't want to speak. Karen moved off of him and reclaimed her hands. She was frowning now.  
  
"You're gay, aren't you?" Karen said bitingly. "Are you just playing with me then? Did Zechs not give you what you wanted? Did you think old Karen would get your pip squeak dick off instead?"  
  
Karen stood up, hands on hips. "I thought maybe we could get something going," she continued icily. "I thought maybe we could hook up and we could both take advantage of Zechs while we had some fun together. I guess I should have known, with that long hair of yours, that you were getting some from Zechs as well as taking his money."  
  
"I - " Duo didn't know what to say. He was too shocked.  
  
Karen swayed to one hip and gave Duo a long, pointed look. "I could teach you to go both ways. Maybe you're just shy tonight? We could still have some fun, stay in that nice bungalow, and milk Zechs for all he's worth. You just keep batting those purple eyes at him and I'll teach you how to play the game to the hilt."  
  
Duo found his tongue at last. "Go the fuck away."  
  
Karen was very quiet and then she said cuttingly, "At least I CAN fuck," and then she was walking away and Duo was left sitting with his insides turning into an anguished knot.  
  
"How embarrassing," Wu Fei's voice said out of the darkness.  
  
Duo stiffened and then jumped to his feet as both Wu Fei and Heero came out into the dim light. "What the - " Duo stopped, surprised to see Wu Fei, but completely shocked to see Heero. "What's going on?" he wondered in a small, sickly voice.  
  
"Gibson said that you were out here 'entertaining a lady'," Wu Fei replied, saying the word, 'lady', with more derision than he gave 'entertaining'.  
  
"And you wanted to join in?" Duo demanded, ready to sink into the ground in embarrassment.  
  
Wu Fei crossed arms over his chest, paused for emphasis, and then replied, "It didn't seem that there was going to be anything to join in."  
  
"What do you want?!" Duo demanded, measuring out each word furiously. "And what are you doing here, Heero?"  
  
Wu Fei slid eyes at the impassive Heero. "This pathetic creature is who you think is worthy to share your life?"  
  
Heero's jaw clenched.  
  
"Look at him," Wu Fei continued viciously. "Rolling in the dirt with whores. He didn't even know that we were here. We could have killed the both of them. He isn't a soldier. He isn't disciplined. He's a weak onna who can't even defend himself against you. Look at him, crouching over his pains." Duo was hunched over his injuries. "He doesn't even care about honor or self respect. He lets us see where his weakness is."   
  
Heero said nothing. Wu Fei became desperate for some response, some sign that he was making headway.  
  
"Tell me, Heero Yuy," Wu Fei demanded. "Tell me why you want this weak thing in your apartment, in your life."  
  
Heero's jaw clenched. He stared at Duo, narrowing eyes at him. Duo stared back, remembering Heero's violence, remembering that this man had almost, casually raped him as if it were necessary and right. Duo was suddenly afraid. He didn't know what was going on between Heero and Wu Fei, but he suddenly wanted as far away from them both as possible.  
  
"My life is empty," Heero said at last, as if it were dragged from deep within him. "Duo fills that emptiness. Explain to me why that's so."  
  
Duo started, amazed. What was Heero trying to say, that he loved him? Was he gay? Duo remembered the many women in Heero's life, the loud, almost animal sounds that had come from his room when he had brought them home. It didn't fit and Duo was confused.  
  
Wu Fei sighed. He knew what to say now. Heero was his. "Heero, humans need companionship. You are lonely, that's all. Duo relieves that need for companionship in you the same way you need relief from sexual tension. You could get the same result from a cat or a dog." Wu Fei faced Heero, blocking his view of Duo as he continued, "You focused on Duo as your solution, because you are single minded and he solved your problem. As for taking it to such an extreme as following him all the way here to 'reclaim' him, I think that has more to do with your grudge against Zechs and your pride. If you hadn't been so blinded by your anger that he had taken something away that belonged to you, you would have stopped this nonsense long ago and found another solution for your loneliness."  
  
"That is logical," Heero grated.  
  
"Yeah," Duo said nervously. "Logical. Can I go now and leave you two - "  
  
Heero drew his gun. Duo froze, wide eyed. Wu Fei dared and gripped the barrel. Heero turned his gaze to him, as Wu Fei had hoped.  
  
"Do you love him?" Wu Fei asked, point blank. "Is that why you can't give him up?"  
  
Heero sneered. "I should shoot you for suggesting that."  
  
Wu Fei smiled. "I'm glad to know that you haven't lost your senses entirely," he pushed the gun down. "Let the braided fool go. Forget about him. He is ruining you, can't you see that? Get a pet, Heero, and refocus on your career and on yourself."  
  
"A pet doesn't talk," Heero snapped back. "I require conversation."  
  
"Really?" Duo couldn't help saying, startled. "You actually liked me babbling all day long?"  
  
"It filled the silence," Heero replied, obviously hating that weakness and wishing he could root it out of himself somehow.  
  
Wu Fei straightened, giving Heero his best, arrogant expression. "I am able to speak, intelligently. I am able to work side by side with you, perfecting us both. I don't require emotions or weak displays of friendship. I am the perfect companion for you. You will accept me, now, and you will transfer to the Sanq Kingdom Preventer office so that we may work in tandem."  
  
Heero flicked eyes from Duo to Wu Fei and Duo suddenly felt like an object of scorn, as if Heero had finally snapped out of whatever possessed mood he had been in and, like Zechs, had remembered what an undesirable, waste of space, low life Duo really was.  
  
"Acknowledged," Heero said curtly as he holstered his gun. "And accepted"  
  
Wu Fei bowed. As simply as that and then they were both walking away into the night as if Duo no longer existed.  
  
Duo stared after them, blinked, and then fell to his knees and began pummeling the dirt and dead leaves with both his fists. When he was done venting his anger and his frustration, exhausted and aching, he sat back on his heels and tried to decide what to do. It didn't take long. It was obvious. He would simply do what he had always done when life ran him over and then backed up for good measure. He would run and leave it all behind.  
  
Panting, Duo heaved himself back to his feet and made his slow way back to his bungalow. The pain ate at him with every step. He stopped more than once to simply lean against a convenient tree and brace himself for the next few yards.  
  
At last, Duo stumbled through the door of his bungalow. He shouted for servants, but none came. Cursing that they were gone when he actually needed them for once, Duo steeled himself and made it to his bedroom. In the soft light of a lamp, Zechs sat on the end of his bed, a bundle of purple hyacinths on his knees and handsome face dark and pensive.   
  
"What are you doing here?!" Duo demanded as he leaned against the door frame hugging his ribs.  
  
Zechs scowled. "I came to apologize, but Gibson told me that you were tumbling one of the servant girls in the bushes."  
  
"Isn't that what low class street trash does?" Duo snarled back, really hating Gibson. "Isn't that what you expected?"  
  
Zechs' jaw clenched, but his blue eyes were steady and determined. "I came to apologize," he repeated.  
  
"I think you meant what you said," Duo replied. "Why should you apologize for telling me the truth?"  
  
Zechs almost retorted, but then his nostrils flared and he made an effort not to. He said quietly. "You were angry at me too. What were you thinking that you didn't say to me? Aristocratic bastard? Relena's poodle? Oz scum?"  
  
Duo stared and then he laughed sarcastically. Zechs didn't join in.   
  
"Maybe you're right," Duo said. "Maybe I was thinking that. Maybe we both weren't honest about how we felt about each other."  
  
Zechs nodded. "I am an aristocratic bastard. I am Relena's poodle. I won't admit to being Oz scum though."  
  
Duo was quiet and then he said, surprising himself, "I am a street rat from L2 and… I guess I am a tease. I knew what you wanted when you offered me dinner. I thought I could handle the situation, though, and keep it friendly. I guess moving onto the floor, and sprawling on a bunch of expensive pillows, wasn't the way to go about that when you have dinner with a gay man."  
  
"No, it wasn't," Zechs replied. "But it was unforgivable of me to get so upset, to call you such names. I am sorry. It was just the suddenness of the rejection. I thought... I thought there was something..."  
  
Duo straightened uncomfortably and looked away as he said self deprecatingly. "You're better off not getting mixed up with me anyway, Zechs. I'm a screw up. I can't get my life right. Nobody wants me around for long."  
  
"Not even Karen?" Zechs asked.  
  
Duo blushed deep red. "Gibson was wrong. We didn't do anything, so don't get mad about me getting under your servant girl's skirts."  
  
Zechs let out a breath of relief he hoped wasn't noticeable. He put the flowers aside on the bed. "What are you going to do now?"  
  
"Pack up and go," Duo replied. "What else?"  
  
Zechs tensed again. "That's not what I meant. I meant, do you intend to bathe? You have dirt and leaves all over you."  
  
Duo looked confused. "I guess I should." He grimaced. "Wouldn't want to look like a bum, even though I am one."  
  
Duo made his way into the bathroom and shut the door. He locked it for good measure and then leaned against the sink. Zechs hadn't said anything to his last statement.  
  
If more than two people think you're worthless, Duo thought, then it must be true. He showered, trying to wash away the dirt and the disappointment in himself. One he managed, but the other was sinking its claws deep.  
  
Duo dressed in the black pants and black shirt that he had discarded earlier for the fancy suit that Gibson had brought him. He felt more comfortable in his own clothes, in his own skin, Duo thought sourly. He had never fit in there, dressing so finely and living in luxury. It was time to go back where he belonged, where it didn't matter to anyone whether he was a failure or not, because everyone there was one too. L2 still had a place for him, he was sure.  
  
Duo went back into the bedroom, grabbed up his box from where he had placed it in a corner, and began putting into it the few things that were really his. He didn't look at Zechs when the man said, "I want to talk to you."  
  
"What's there to say?" Duo wondered sharply.  
  
"Duo...."  
  
Duo picked up his box and held it against him, not only against his aching ribs, but against his aching heart as well. "What is it? Spit it out. I have to go."  
  
"Don't you care for me at all?" Zechs wondered softly.  
  
"Care?" Duo echoed bitterly. "What do I even know about you?"  
  
There was an awkward silence and then Zechs said. "I think you're hiding."  
  
Duo refused to meet Zechs' eyes. He edged towards the door, feeling panic rising. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want anyone, even himself finding out...  
  
"I heard, somewhere, that you never lie," Zechs said. "So, Duo Maxwell. Tell me that you don't care for me."  
  
Duo lowered his head and hid behind his drying bangs. His braid fell forward and looped on top of the box in his hands. He stared at it, giving himself something to focus on. "Of course I d - "  
  
"Will you go that far?" Zechs retorted, cutting him off. "Will you go that far to keep hiding from yourself?"  
  
Duo swallowed hard. "What do you feel for me?" he demanded. "Can you tell me? I think you already did back at your estate house. I think - "  
  
"I love you, Duo." Zechs said it quickly, a feint against a frontal assault.  
  
"I'm not gay!" Duo retorted, panting, face flushing, not believing what he was hearing. Zechs didn't just say... he couldn't have... no one loved him... No one could love him! He felt his heart constricting in his chest.  
  
"Look at me," Zechs ordered in a strong, commanding voice. "If you look at me, and you still say that you don't feel anything, then you're right, you're not gay, Duo. I'll let you go. I'll let you walk out that door. I'll never bother you again."  
  
The thought of Zechs doing that hurt. Duo closed his eyes tight against that loss, that heart rending thought, that he might never see Zechs again.  
  
"LOOK AT ME!" Zechs snarled.  
  
Duo looked and promptly dropped his box. It hit the floor hard at his feet. Zechs was stretched out nude on the bed, white skin, white hair, ice-blue eyes glowing against the darker cover. The purple hyacinths were strewn all around him. He was the most beautiful creature Duo had ever seen. His reaction was instant. As his eyes traveled over Zechs' body, his own responded strongly.  
  
Zechs gave a ghost of a smile, but he wasn't hoping yet. He reached down his long waist and touched his own arousal. He stroked it and lifted it, squeezing the tip. His eyes never left Duo's.  
  
Duo shivered. He was riveted. All the women he had tried to bed had done nothing for him. Not once had he ever responded. Instead, he had felt at a loss, awkward, and wrong. He had never responded to them like he was responding to Zechs. It was all very clear suddenly and Duo couldn't deny it any longer. He wanted Zechs. Body and mind were in complete agreement.  
  
"What do I do?" Duo asked in a very frightened voice.  
  
"Come here," Zechs ordered, keeping his voice firm and confident. "I'll show you."  
  
Duo was drawn by that confidence. He was floundering. He needed guidance. A strong hand. Someone to put his crumbling world back together again. He walked to the bed with leaden feet. When he was standing beside it, looking down at Zechs' languid body, he felt a shiver overtake him again and his body responded so strongly it was painful.  
  
Zechs rose up onto his knees, his erection bobbing at attention. Duo's eyes were riveted to it. He licked his suddenly dry lips. "We don't have to do anything," Zechs told him, but Duo could hear the need in Zechs' tone. "We can just talk about this."  
  
Duo began unbuttoning his shirt nervously. "I-I don't think I can talk any more. I think I have to - have to do something about this."  
  
"All right, but you can say stop at any time and I will," Zechs assured him.  
  
Duo was glad for that reassurance. He was feeling the bite of panic underneath his desire. It would be so easy to turn and run, so easy to forget that he had ever reacted this way to another man. And then what? His mind mocked. He couldn't be with women. Karen had proved that. Duo imagined a lifetime of celibacy stretching out before him. He winced. He couldn't live that way either. If he had to fall, if he had to do... it, then doing it with Zechs wasn't a bad way to lose his virginity.  
  
Duo laughed. It was bordering on hysterical. Zechs raised a white eyebrow, but Duo shook his head, not wanting to share the thought. He pushed down his pants and slipped shoes and pants off. Standing naked, wounded, bruised, thin, and unlovely, he didn't think he was worth Zechs' time. His erection was only at half-mast, uncertain now and embarrassed, certainly nothing to inspire awe. He was glad that Zechs didn't reach for him or do something crude.  
  
Duo gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, crushing flowers. "'K... what now?"  
  
Zechs smiled. "Relax, for one. I'm not going to bite you. We'll take this slow and see what happens."  
  
"Why?" Duo asked abruptly.  
  
Zechs blinked. "Why what?"   
  
Duo swallowed again and played with a flower. "Why do you want me? I'm - I'm not much to look at. I'm all messed up."  
  
Duo looked up in time to see a smile as warm as the sun form on Zechs' face. It came to Duo then, that he had rarely ever seen Zechs smile. "Don't you know?" Zechs asked as if Duo were being dense. "You're beautiful."  
  
Duo snorted. "I'm a guy! I'm handsome."  
  
"Beautiful," Zechs insisted and Duo jumped and shivered when he ran a long finger along Duo's thigh. "I wanted you the moment I saw you."  
  
Duo snorted again, but his voice trembled as he joked weakly, "You must have taken too many shocks in your Gundam."  
  
Zechs' hand snaked around Duo's waist. The touch of his warm skin seemed to seep down to Duo's very soul. He felt again, just as he had when they had first kissed, that 'soul meeting soul' feeling. It overwhelmed him and he didn't protest when Zechs pulled him down and pressed their bodies together.  
  
"Let me show you," Zechs whispered in Duo's ear. "How wonderful it can be." 

It was strange. Duo couldn't stop being nervous, or trembling against the larger man, even though Zechs was gentle and spoke encouragingly. Zechs' hands were smooth, the hands of an aristocrat. Duo's hands were rough, a laborer's hands. He felt bad for Zechs, having to feel his harsh calluses as he dared to reach out and touch the Lightning Count as the man was touching him.   
  
That's all they did for the longest time, just touch, allowing Duo to relax and to grow comfortable with the man beside him, enough, maybe, to go further. When Zechs pushed it to the next level, Duo was ready and waiting. He wanted more. He had an insane desire to taste that smooth skin under his hands, to nuzzle and breathe in Zechs' scent. He was shy though. He held back, letting Zechs break the final barrier of reluctance.  
  
Zechs leaned forward and gently took Duo's nipple into his mouth. Duo felt a tingle go from that nipple all the way through his body. He warmed and flushed as he felt Zechs' tongue rasp roughly and then the pull of lips and the hint of teeth. Zechs hummed appreciatively as he suckled, as if he were tasting honey.  
  
"So good!" Duo managed, tossing his head back and groaning. The motion caused his body to arch against Zechs. He felt the man's rock hard erection. He must be in pain, Duo thought, more so than himself. Zechs at least knew what he wanted and what was in store for him. Duo dared and put his hand on it. He was surprised and embarrassed, when Zechs pushed his hand away.  
  
"Not yet," Zechs breathed around his nipple. "I'm saving that for something special. Let me please you first."  
  
Zechs played. Duo groaned and writhed under his ministrations. The sensations, the utter feeling of, 'This is right! This is what I've always wanted without knowing it!' throbbed through Duo's brain and body as he almost came again and again. Each time though, Zechs backed off, rose to kiss and to caress his face until the feeling of impeding explosion died, before beginning again.  
  
"Zechs!" Duo groaned at last. "You're not torturing me for information! Do something, now, or I'm going to go crazy!"  
  
"One might think you were gay, Duo Maxwell," Zechs chuckled as he squeezed Duo's ass.  
  
Duo fumbled for words, fumbled to deny, even after everything he had just experienced, but then, he let out a long, shuddering breath. "Okay! I'm gay! I want you! I want you to make me come! Now! Okay? Happy? Man! You are the King of Tease, Zechs! Not me!"  
  
Zechs frowned mockingly. "Me, a tease? Very soon, you won't think that at all."  
  
Duo grew nervous again. Zechs rose up on his knees and opened a drawer in the side table. He pulled out a small tube. "Good, still here," Zechs said and Duo wondered about the other men and women Zechs had tumbled in the bungalow. It made him feel a little bitter, but then something inside of him, that was used to disappointment, shrugged. Even if Zechs had been lying about loving him, at least he was getting this experience out of the man before he was tossed out as used goods.  
  
"Stop thinking that," Zechs said abruptly. Duo blinked up at him, confused. He gestured at Duo with the tube. "What did you think this was? It's petroleum jelly for the lips. I think it will do for my purposes." He leaned down close to Duo and gave him a deep, tonguing kiss. When he broke it, his eyes bored into Duo's. "It's true I've been with many people, Duo, but I didn't lie when I said I loved you. I've never told anyone that. I've never trusted anyone with my heart before. So, you see, we are on equal ground. You are a virgin of the body and I am a virgin of the heart. Let's both be gentle with each other, all right?"   
  
Duo nodded numbly, wondering what purpose Zechs had in mind and beginning to guess. When Zechs squeezed some of the jelly out onto his fingers, Duo grabbed his wrist, eyes wide and on the verge of panic.  
  
"I don't think I want to do that, Zechs," Duo said and then added in an uncertain, begging voice. "I, uh, maybe we could just... I'm not sure what gay guys do, but I've heard people say things... I could..." he blushed deeply and looked away. He was afraid to say it and yet he felt a violent urge to do just what he was thinking.  
  
"Trust me,' Zechs whispered and ran kisses along Duo's neck as his lubed fingers found Duo's entrance.   
  
Duo tensed at once. "Nn, Zechs! I really don't want - " he stopped protesting as Zechs' fingers began a circular motion that was half scratch and half rub.  
  
Zechs smiled at Duo's sudden look of intense enjoyment. "I can stop. Is that what you want?"  
  
"Uh," Duo panted and he found his hips moving back into Zechs' fingers despite himself. "Nuh, don't - don't stop. 'S okay."  
  
Zechs kept rubbing as he watched Duo's face in the throes of pleasure, his half closed, purple eyes almost glowing with the intensity of what he was feeling, the exact color of the flowers strewn under and around them both. He was beautiful, Zechs thought and he felt a sudden, protective, possessive, loving mixture of emotions that was both strong and accepted. The battle was won and he was the victor, but it wasn't a battle any more, and had never really been one. Instead of fighting and forcing Duo to his will, he had ended up begging, pleading; a supplicant at Duo's feet. He had done it willingly, Zechs thought, and he would do it again, and a lot more, to have Duo in his arms and in his heart.  
  
Zechs felt Duo relax and open. It was time. Very gently, he pushed in a finger. Duo jumped and started out of his daze of pleasure. Before he could protest, Zechs began to rub and to move that finger in and out.   
  
"Just that," Duo whispered hoarsely as pleasure hit him again. "D-Don't do anything else, 'k?"  
  
"Just that," Zechs agreed. He worked Duo with his finger, stopping when Duo was close to coming. Duo swore at him, growled, even begged, but Zechs remained deaf, swatting Duo's hands away when he finally sought to relieve his own need. "Patience," Zechs told him. "Patience, Sweet."  
  
"Nicknames already?" Duo panted. "W-What should I call you? Snowy? Pookie? Honey Bear! God!"  
  
"None of that," Zechs chuckled as he touched a sensitive spot in Duo. Duo writhed in his arms, eyes rolling up in his head. "I'm sure you'll think of something better."  
  
"If I live!" Duo gasped.  
  
Zechs breathed hot air into Duo's ear. Duo shivered. "It's better with two fingers."  
  
"I-Is it?" Duo stammered. "It gets better?"  
  
"Shall I?"  
  
"Y-Yeah!"  
  
Zechs worked in another finger. Duo shuddered and then relaxed. Again he fell into a daze as Zechs worked him into a frenzy of need. Duo couldn't believe that he was allowing this, allowing another man to work him with two fingers in his ass. He couldn't have stopped Zechs though, if his life depended on it. Zechs had made him utterly helpless with pleasure. He was at the man's mercy. Keep doing it, his mind screamed, finish it! Do more! More!  
  
"You can... Zechs..." Duo fumbled against embarrassment, "I think... if you want to... This feels so good! If two fingers feels like this... If you want to be on top..."  
  
Zechs smiled. "Do you want me to fuck you, Duo Maxwell?"  
  
"That's blunt!" Duo exploded with what little breath he had left, but then, in a small voice, he said, "Yeah. Do it. I might as well go all the way and get it over with."  
  
"You're bold for a virgin," Zechs laughed and then more seriously. "I think that I am somewhat larger than two fingers. There will be some pain."  
  
Duo's face pinched and he began to reconsider. "Pain?" he echoed.  
  
"There is a tight ring of muscle to pass," Zechs explained simply. "Relaxing is the key. Once past that and it can be... very... pleasurable." Zechs licked the curve of Duo's ear.   
  
"But, until then..." Duo turned his head, caught, and held Zechs' eyes with his own. "How much pain?"  
  
"It depends on your sensitivity," Zechs soothed him. "Not worse than your ribs, but more than a paper cut."  
  
"You'll stop if I say?" Duo reconfirmed.  
  
"Always," Zechs promised and meant it.  
  
"Okay," Duo agreed in a small voice. "What do I have to do?"  
  
Zechs slid his fingers out of Duo and Duo felt their loss. "Relax," Zechs told him, "and enjoy."  
  
Duo stared at Zechs' cock, measuring the width with his eyes. He wasn't sure how it was going to fit. It was wider than two fingers and it look hard, bobbing between Zechs' legs as Zechs slid down Duo's body and kneeled between Duo's legs.  
  
"I'm going to hold you up by your hips and slide in," Zechs explained. "I can't lie on top or I'll hurt your injuries. Remember. Relax. You must relax and let me in."  
  
"'K," Duo said with a short nod and tried to breathe normally and not think about this giant step he was about to take. An hour ago, he had been so sure of his sexuality. An hour ago he couldn't have imagined himself letting Zechs pull his ass into his lap in preparation to fuck him. Now, he was assisting Zechs, opening his legs as if he were as loose as Karen and just as eager for a hot tumble and a man between his legs.   
  
Duo blushed and turned his face into the pillow, suddenly ashamed and doubting the sanity of what he was doing. Zechs waited, poised. Duo became aware of it, aware of the man's concern for him and his willingness to back off if Duo asked.  
  
"Do you really love me?" Duo asked, feeling like a fool, like a young virginal girl needing the reassurance of some randy boy who's only intention was to tell her anything necessary to score.  
  
Zechs reached across his body and grabbed his chin. He pulled Duo's head around and made him look at him. His blue eyes were very intense. "Don't doubt me. Not now."  
  
"It's just hard to believe," Duo said softly. A tear escaped his eye. He felt stupid when Zechs brushed it off with the tip of his finger and then kissed it with his sensuous lips.  
  
"Believe it," Zechs replied. He lifted Duo's ass higher and then Duo felt it, that impossibly wide, round tip at his entrance. "Let me in, Sweet."  
  
"I-I'll try," Duo gasped and then squeezed his eyes shut and tried to relax.  
  
The tip massaged Duo's entrance, rubbing more lube there copiously. When it began to push in, Duo squirmed at the sudden, shocking pain, and tried to back away. Zechs' hands were tight on the globes of his ass, holding him still.  
  
"It's too big!" Duo protested. "THAT is not going in me!"  
  
"It will," Zechs promised and then with a teasing smile, "I haven't even started, Duo! I thought you were trained to withstand pain."  
  
"Yeah, for a good reason!" Duo shot back, flushing hotly. "To withstand torture not have a guy stick his cock up my ass!"  
  
Zechs' face hardened and his hands tightened. "I can stop."  
  
Duo swallowed, remembering Wu Fei calling him weak. He said, hesitantly, "The pain will stop? It will feel good, eventually?"  
  
The hard expression on Zechs' face softened. "Even a virgin woman feels some pain, Duo, but yes, it will feel good, eventually."  
  
Duo looked at Zechs, at his slim, yet steely strong body. He felt again that rush of need and want, that desire to bury his nose against Zechs' silky skin and breathe in his scent. It was all he could do not to crush Zechs against him, despite his injuries and the pain it would cause.  
  
"I do want you," Duo whispered and then closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip. "Do it."  
  
"My brave Sweet," Zechs breathed and began pushing in again. Duo bit down on whimpers. His body cringed and tried to back away again. Zechs held him in place, pushing, stretching, causing stinging pains and shocking aches that thundered through every nerve in Duo's body. Finally, that hard rod of flesh stopped and Duo felt his ass pressed up against Zechs' pelvis.  
  
Duo felt as if he were strangling on the pain and he felt stretched impossibly wide. Every instinct within him told him to get the intruder out. "Out!" he hissed. "Zechs! Please take it out! Hurts!"  
  
Zechs reached up Duo's body and caressed his cheek. Duo knew there were tears in his eyes. He was on the verge of blubbering like a baby. He was ashamed of himself, but he couldn't help feeling that he had made a terrible mistake. This couldn't be right, this pain, he thought, what he was trying to do was harming him. It wasn't natural. Zechs didn't belong inside of him like that.  
  
"If I pull out," Zechs replied breathlessly, every muscle clenched as he tried with all of his willpower not to come inside of Duo's incredible tightness. "If I pull out, " he repeated, "It will hurt MORE, not LESS, Duo."  
  
Duo couldn't help a whimper. "Why is that?"  
  
"I'm through the ring of muscle," Zechs replied. "If you make me back out now, I'll have to go through it again. Patience, Sweet. Wait. Relax. I'm going to start moving. It will release your endorphins. You'll stop feeling the pain then."  
  
"No," Duo panted. "Don't move! Please don't move, Zechs!"  
  
"Trust me," Zechs replied. "Please trust me, Duo."  
  
Duo could only give Zechs a sickly nod, not sure what else he could do. He felt trapped, invaded. He had an irrational urge to claw at Zechs, and instinctive impulse to defend himself.  
  
Zechs moved. At first, it didn't lessen the pain. Duo moaned and whimpered, but, before he could forget all common sense and begin to panic completely, the pain suddenly took a downward step... and then another... and then yet another until it was barely noticeable. What replaced it made Duo shudder and forget all about fighting Zechs.  
  
"Hnn! Zechs!" Duo moaned and felt his cock go rock hard as Zechs touched something deep inside of him with the tip of his cock. Sudden pleasure replaced the pain, a rubbing, scratching in a place he could never reach before, pleasure that had Duo writhing again and clawing at the blanket as if he needed it as a lifeline.  
  
"Like that, Sweet?" Zechs purred. "See, I kept my word."  
  
Duo's muscles relaxed and stretched, finally, and Zechs was moving in and out of him more easily. His cock took on a rhythm and Duo found himself lifting his legs, wanting it to touch that spot within him again. It shocked him, that involuntary motion. He was being fucked, Duo thought hazily. He was being fucked by another man and he was loving it. It wasn't wrong anymore. They fit together perfectly. Duo had never felt so right in his entire life.  
  
Zechs found that magic spot again and angled his thrusts to touch it and rub it with the head of his cock. Duo arched his back and thrashed, crying out. Zechs held him with a grip that was surely bruising his ass. Duo didn't care. He only cared about the building pressure within him, a pressure that felt so strong that Duo was afraid.  
  
Duo tried to push away again, but his body was contrary. While his mind began to run in little circles, wondering if an orgasm could be strong enough to kill, his body was opening his legs wider, inviting harder thrusts, inviting Zechs' pelvis closer and Zechs' slim belly to rub against his swollen, purple cock.  
  
Zechs ignored Duo's pushing hands and took the invitation of Duo's body. He leaned forward, pelvis slapping into Duo in a rutting, rapid motion. While one strong hand held Duo against him in an iron grip, his other hand took hold of Duo's cock.  
  
"Uhn!" Duo whimpered, meaning no, a last denial that he didn't mean at all. It was a last cry against what was about to happen, an exclamation of fear. The orgasm hit him shortly after that and Duo's 'uhn' turned into a scream.  
  
The orgasm was indescribable. Zechs had stoked the fire of the volcano expertly, building the flames until they had become a contained inferno. The final eruption arched Duo off of the bed as he splattered hot seed over them both. He collapsed at once afterwards, every muscle loose, ever nerve singing. Sparks and stars danced in front of his eyes as Zechs came too, his hot fluid shooting against Duo's outraged flesh and a rubbed raw prostate. Duo twitched at the new sensation, every nerve overloaded.  
  
"Duo, Sweet?" Zechs said softly into Duo's ear some time later.  
  
Duo pried open an eye. "Did I actually pass out?" he croaked.  
  
Zechs was stretched out beside him on the bed, on his stomach, creamy ass displaying perfectly rounded globes. Duo found his shaking hand running over them, marveling at how soft every part of Zechs was despite his muscles and masculine physique. With his white hair tumbled about him and his face relaxed and loving, Zechs could have passed for a sensuous woman. Duo pushed that thought out of his mind. It wasn't a woman he wanted and he didn't need to think of Zechs that way.  
  
Very slowly, Duo touched a finger to Zechs' entrance. He pushed in, just a little. Zechs looked at Duo in surprise. Duo smirked. "When I'm healed up, and my ass isn't feeling like a Gundam flew up it, I'm going to see what it's like on the other end." Zechs' face went very still. Duo prodded with his words. "Well, you wouldn't order your men to do something you wouldn't do, would you?"  
  
Zechs sighed and then smiled. "No, I wouldn't. It's just that it's been a long time..." he trailed off and went distant.  
  
"Who was it?" Duo asked, feeling a prick of jealousy coupled with his concern.  
  
"Treize," Zechs replied as if the memory were unpleasant. "We've both done things in our life that we aren't proud of, it seems."  
  
Duo pulled Zechs close to him and he liked the wave of protectiveness that came over him as he stroked the man's white hair and kissed his lips. When Zechs put arms around him and responded to the kiss, Duo felt that he could live forever just like that, forever immersed in passion and…  
  
"I just found it," Duo said suddenly, breaking off the kiss.  
  
Zechs almost pouted. "Found what?" he asked and then wickedly, "The will to try it again?"  
  
Duo winced. His ass was hurting a lot. "No, not that," he said with mock irritation and then smiled. "I was told that my life would always be messed up until I found one thing."  
  
"What was that?" Zechs asked, curious.  
  
"The Point," Duo replied and then nuzzled along Zechs' neck. "A reason for living my life right; a reason for not wallowing in depression and letting it destroy me."  
  
Zechs felt his heart constrict, not daring to hope. "And you found it?" he said in a small voice, trying to remain calm. "You found what the point to you life is?"  
  
"Yes," Duo replied and let it hang.  
  
"Well!" Zechs retorted in exasperation and anticipation. "Tell me what it is!"  
  
Purple eyes met blue ones. Zechs felt himself drawn into them, soul touching soul, as Duo replied, "It's you, Zechs. I-I love you. I want to spend forever with you, in this moment, in this bed, having our first time together forever. You can be the point of my life, if you let me, if you can look past the fact that I'm nobody, an orphan, an ex-thief, a worthless, weak - "  
  
Zechs put a finger against Duo's lips. "That's not who you are anymore, Duo. If you can forget that I'm a jaded, spoiled aristocrat and Relena's poodle, I know we can start fresh and make a new life for ourselves together."  
  
Duo felt the tears. He searched Zechs' face suspiciously, but found only honesty and an answering tear in Zechs' eyes. "Okay, from now on, two soldiers from the war are missing in action, lost, never recovered, forgotten. Duo and Zechs just met on a lovely beach in South America. Duo was sunbathing in a skimpy Speedo and Zechs was wandering by looking for..."  
  
"Beautiful men in Speedos," Zechs chuckled, falling into the game that really wasn't a game.  
  
"Uhm, the other half of his soul, his one true love, the other half of himself," Duo corrected and his eyes told Zechs that he meant those words. "When he saw the HANDSOME man sunbathing, he knew at once that he had found that person."  
  
Zechs smiled warmly and cupped Duo's face gently in his hand. Nose almost touching nose, he finished, "And they fell in love, and were as one, until the end of their days."   
  
"Until the end of their days," Duo echoed and kissed Zechs for all that he was worth.  
  
~Owari


End file.
